Poll : Legally Married?

loop0406

I just realized I've hardly been to weddings where the bride/groom are actually getting legally married and signing marriage license after ceremony. I am used to bride/groom already being married legally (JIP) months before and then officiant does the vows (I think it's calling renewing the vows) and then on to reception. I guess for insurance, tax, tradition of not living together being marriage reasons, etc.

Which brings me to this question:

Night_Sprite

Generally redos are looked down upon around these parts.  I also request that you lose the seizure sig. 

nda_roxybabe

odd. All wedding I've been are when the couple gets legally married. So, pretty much, I've never been to a vow renewal.

Night_Sprite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:a65e74a6-0510-408b-9025-94c1b51cf6bb">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]odd. All wedding I've been are when the couple gets legally married. So, pretty much, I've never been to a vow renewal.
Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]
Ditto.

C*Mia

Vow renewals are awful... we get it you guys really like each other.

We will technically be married before but having the ceremony and signing the papers the day of. 

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:7b967e38-875c-4b57-9f0f-fc86986159ae">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]Generally redos are looked down upon around these parts. <strong> I also request that you lose the seizure sig. </strong>
Posted by Night_Sprite[/QUOTE]

Love it.

We are actually having our best man and matron of honor sign the marriage license during the ceremony.

Night_Sprite

We have pictures of my sister and his best man signing the license right after the ceremony.  I like that page of our album. 

Blueyed228

Im not a fan of getting "legally married" for tax, insurance, financial aid, or housing situations.

But I am old school and kind of think you only get 1 shot at a wedding (unless you get divorced and marry someone else).  I would not attend a "vow renewal" if it was basically a wedding, with ceremony, reception, dress, limos, bridal party, gifts, etc.

And I will definitely think you are an a$$hole if you get married in secret and still have your pretty princess day without telling your guests that you are already married.

anna.oskar

Our pastor would not have married us in the church unless we signed the legal documents immediately after.  Something about it being difficult to perform a marriage ceremony on people that are already married.  Silly Lutherans

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:5a0b9c2b-7626-48e5-aec9-9651a38040a2">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]Vow renewals are awful... we get it you guys really like each other. <strong>We will technically be married before but having the ceremony and signing the papers the day of. </strong>
Posted by C*Mia[/QUOTE]

Explain, please.  How are you technically married prior to signing your papers?

We did the JOP before and wedding later, although, if we could do it over again, I wouldn't.

Night_Sprite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:9074882c-e78a-4f92-abab-7dcfa12d9451">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]Our pastor would not have married us in the church unless we signed the legal documents immediately after.  Something about it being difficult to perform a marriage ceremony on people that are already married.  Silly Lutherans ;)
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]
That might be hard, Anna.  Time travel is so difficult to perfect.

loop0406

I don't get it, what's wrong with my sig ?

Yes, be honest. I was just browsing around for something different than a countdown or picture, I will post countdown when it gets closer to our w date.

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:370c1135-8c30-4f9d-92e4-bf37bdf2077b">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll : Legally Married? : That might be hard, Anna.  Time travel is so difficult to perfect.
Posted by Night_Sprite[/QUOTE]

Indeed.  and all us Lutherans are too busy having potlucks to take the time to perfect the technology

Night_Sprite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:70813f23-53e2-4ec9-8a74-5a9b575c97d4">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't get it, what's wrong with my sig ? Yes, be honest. I was just browsing around for something different than a countdown or picture, I will post countdown when it gets closer to our w date.
Posted by loop0406[/QUOTE]
Really?  You can think of nothing else to fill up that space but something that blinks and flashes?

loop0406

Hhhm, okay, I will see what I come up with, thanks

Night_Sprite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:f6e8bc6c-f38f-4980-862b-bb6ee99f59fa">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll : Legally Married? : Indeed.  and all us Lutherans are too busy having potlucks to take the time to perfect the technology
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]
<div>There are meatballs to be made, Anna.  </div>

JennaV26

I've only ever been to one vow renewal and I wasn't diggin' it.
 
I was disappointed, though, because our marriage license didn't require that DH or I signed it, just the officiant. Boo!! I was looking forward to that!

qwerty777

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:ae616778-4190-413b-8819-4b09f1b1955d">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've only ever been to one vow renewal and I wasn't diggin' it.   I was disappointed, though, because our marriage license didn't require that DH or I signed it, just the officiant. Boo!! I was looking forward to that!
Posted by JennaV26[/QUOTE]

I was also kind of surprised the bride and groom weren't supposed to sign the marriage license. For all they know we weren't even there and the officiant just found two random people to sign as witnesses...

Mioh1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:70813f23-53e2-4ec9-8a74-5a9b575c97d4">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
<strong>[QUOTE]I don't get it, what's wrong with my sig ?</strong> Yes, be honest. I was just browsing around for something different than a countdown or picture, I will post countdown when it gets closer to our w date.
Posted by loop0406[/QUOTE]


Nothing people just like to complain about something

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:80407105-bf25-4f85-98c7-64ceb3ddf49f">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll : Legally Married? : Explain, please.  How are you technically married prior to signing your papers?
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

THIS.

katiewhompus

I have never been to a vow renewal so far in my life, they were all weddings where the couple actually got married that day.

One of my friend's has been planning her "real wedding" ever since she got married almost 3 years ago (jop'd when their baby was 3 months for the benefits). She's planning on having a bridal shower, bachelorette (complete with much alcohol and strippers), and a huge wedding.

I was mean and told her she already got my gift when she got married the first time. I also really side eye the whole "I want to have a crazy stripper bachelorette party" when she's been married for many years and has a child.

*BeachBride0410*

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:ae616778-4190-413b-8819-4b09f1b1955d">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've only ever been to one vow renewal and I wasn't diggin' it.   I was disappointed, though, because our marriage license didn't require that DH or I signed it, just the officiant. Boo!! I was looking forward to that!
Posted by JennaV26[/QUOTE]

Really?  That's odd...maybe its different from state to state.  When we got married in FL, we signed the license at the county clerks office & then the day of officiant & witnesses signed after the ceremony.

betrothed123

We did it all in one shot.  We signed the papers right after the ceremony and were married.  If we had JOPed it we would have left it at that.

qwerty777

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:1f178cb2-a292-417e-8e09-382260f9b138">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll : Legally Married? : Really?  That's odd...maybe its different from state to state.  When we got married in FL, we signed the license at the county clerks office & then the day of officiant & witnesses signed after the ceremony.
Posted by *BeachBride0410*[/QUOTE]

We did too, I was just surprised that we didn't have to sign the one the day of as well.

missy68

We actually signed the papers immediately before the ceremony. Nevada only required one witness, but I wanted both my brother and SIL to sign. SIL was with me, so she signed when I did, and brother was with J, and signed when he did.

Actually, come to think of it, we may have already signed the license when we picked it up, so it may have just been the two of them signing.  But, we were NOT married prior to the ceremony.

MeaghanandMichael

Is insurance and taxes THE reason to get married quickly? These things always come up as an excuse and I can see how they are important - but really? You are making a life long commitment based on this?? To me that doesn't make you an asshole, it just makes you dumb.

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:5a0b9c2b-7626-48e5-aec9-9651a38040a2">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]Vow renewals are awful... we get it you guys really like each other. We will technically be married before but having the ceremony and signing the papers the day of. 
Posted by C*Mia[/QUOTE]

I think you may be confused. You are married or you are not.

katiewhompus

I look at "technically married" in the same view as "kind of pregnant". You either are, or you are not, there's not a middle ground or grey area.

Anysunrise

I will be. I would love to say that I'd be able to plan my wedding in two months in the middle of winter when it'll be 6 hours away, but I honestly don't think I can, and don't particularly feel like chancing it.
 
Immigration is a b*tch, and I don't want to book venues and spend that much money when not only can I not see them in person, but I don't even know for sure when that window of time will be. Could be that our visa takes a year, could be that it's done next month. Just too much stress for me to want to worry about, so we're doing it later.

I realize it's judged rather harshly here. I'm okay with it, he's okay with it, all of our guests are aware of it, so honestly, it doesn't really matter. It's not like I'm having two receptions and expecting bridal showers for both.

And while I'm sure it's not a terribly popular opinion here (going by the answers above alone) I consider signing a piece of paper so that the government recognizes your relationship and saying your vows in front of all your loved ones to really not be the same thing. I mean, if it was, why have weddings at all?

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:6b35d975-ef5d-401c-8c14-1c4f95147be6">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
[QUOTE] And while I'm sure it's not a terribly popular opinion here (going by the answers above alone) I consider signing a piece of paper so that the government recognizes your relationship and saying your vows in front of all your loved ones to really not be the same thing. I mean, if it was, why have weddings at all?
Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]
So in your opinion are people who choose to only go the JOP route not actually married?

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_poll-legally-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:5a0a41c6-1090-487a-ae00-0b40fc6a92b5Post:b8212d31-873f-4eab-87a7-d7d4f49f34c8">Re: Poll : Legally Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]Im not a fan of getting "legally married" for tax, insurance, financial aid, or housing situations. But I am old school and kind of think you only get 1 shot at a wedding (unless you get divorced and marry someone else).  I would not attend a "vow renewal" if it was basically a wedding, with ceremony, reception, dress, limos, bridal party, gifts, etc. <font color="#993366">And I will definitely think you are an a$$hole if you get married in secret and still have your pretty princess day without telling your guests that you are already married.
</font>Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

This for sure.

I've never been to this type of vow renewal (that I know of).  I'm traditional too that you get one wedding per marriage.  I love the idea that in 30 years FI and I may throw a large party to renew our vows or something......but I certainly wouldn't call it a wedding.  You have one day to get married.  If you chose to JOP it because of convenience that's your business......but then don't go throw a huge party.