I think I'll pass on in-laws

kbevers

SO... my FI's parents are older...much older...other than my grandparents...and they make me crazy!!! Not so much his dad, but his mom. It's out of control. About two weeks ago she came in to my work. I work as a manager in a large mass retailer. At the time, the store was chaotic, I had a million things to do, and she starts to go off on me (in front of other staff members and guests) about my FI not calling his brother in a long time. I try to listen as long as I can, but I should be taking care of all the stuff that's going on and I finally have to walk away. Later that night my FI asks me what I did to his mom. She left some crazy ranting message about how she's "tired of doing back flips to be nice to me." WTH?!? When did she start being nice??? Please tell me you all have worse stories to make me feel better!!!

emarston1

Is it possible that there are other issues going on?  This does not sound like normal behavior and you did mention that they are much older.  Is it possible that there are health-related issues that need to be addressed, possibly dementia?

fiddle14

My in-laws are awesome!  I actually get along better with them than my own family.

That said, I have the guilt-trip / mainpulation / passive-agressive / control issues with MY OWN mother...  My sister and I do a lot of eye-rolling.  ;-)

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_think-ill-pass-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:5fc79528-d378-4c72-8040-b1e0cfc7367aPost:ccab05da-1867-46a8-abf9-2bd5901ee678">Re: I think I'll pass on in-laws</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI's parents are also MUCH older, and they're also foreign. I also have the issue with his mother, his father is fine. When I first started getting to know his parents, I figured her quirks were just a culture and generational difference. You want another horror story? The other day she called me, the first time since our Valentine's Day engagement. She told me that when I pick a dress I have to get a short one... so that after the wedding I can have it dyed and wear it to parties. Then she told me that our chosen venue isn't good enough, because HER friends might not want to drive that far (like an hour and a half away). Instead, she wants us to use a restaurant, and just figures everyone can show up, and order off the menu, and we can pay for it. We also asked our parents about what they feel comfortable contributing. My parents gave us a figure. She won't give us a figure, and just thinks we should do what she says. When we got off the phone, after about 45 minutes, I called a friend to ask her to be a BM. His mother called back instantly, and when I pressed ignore, she called back immediately, then left a huge message, then called FI continuously while he was at work. Besides that, every time we see his parents, she criticizes me. She hates my clothes (because I usually wear black). She says I should get my hair cut, dyed, and styled to be like hers. She'll ask me about something I made for dinner, then tell me like 5 times, how to make something I've already made. She's even asked me if my family is amish... because we wear a lot of dark colors and my parents live in the country. Ridiculous...
Posted by GACCAK[/QUOTE]
Never ask for contributions for you rwedding, even from family. If she wants to contribute, she will tell you. If she doesn't pay, then she still gets respect as his mother, but the ultimate decision on items are up to whoever pays.

bbyckes

Why didn't you just tell her you were busy and that you'd call her later so you could talk to her about it.  Somewhere in your story, some exaggeration lies.

lisarose7

At least your FILs haven't accused you of "bringing the demons" on their family.  Yeah, my FILs are a bunch of religious freaks...and that's just one of the reasons my FI doesn't want them to even know we're getting married.  Hang in there....

sgervais88

The DAY I met FI's step mom (four and a half years ago when we first started dating - not after we got engaged) she handed me a weed eater. Yeah. And said "Are you gonna stand there or get to work?" I replied, with a smile, that I would not be doing any yard work for her unless she would be returning the favor at my house. She still hates me.

jennylove810

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_think-ill-pass-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5fc79528-d378-4c72-8040-b1e0cfc7367aPost:ec9991b8-0f56-4881-93a8-2f34f1330db5">Re: I think I'll pass on in-laws</a>:
[QUOTE]The DAY I met FI's step mom (four and a half years ago when we first started dating - not after we got engaged) she handed me a weed eater. Yeah. And said "Are you gonna stand there or get to work?" I replied, with a smile, that I would not be doing any yard work for her unless she would be returning the favor at my house. She still hates me.
Posted by sgervais88[/QUOTE]

I like you.

bbyckes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_think-ill-pass-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:5fc79528-d378-4c72-8040-b1e0cfc7367aPost:ec9991b8-0f56-4881-93a8-2f34f1330db5">Re: I think I'll pass on in-laws</a>:
[QUOTE]The DAY I met FI's step mom (four and a half years ago when we first started dating - not after we got engaged) she handed me a weed eater. Yeah. And said "Are you gonna stand there or get to work?" I replied, with a smile, that I would not be doing any yard work for her unless she would be returning the favor at my house. She still hates me.
Posted by sgervais88[/QUOTE]

You should've grabbed the weed eater.  I don't think it would have killed you.  It was a test and you failed miserably.

gower2be

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_think-ill-pass-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5fc79528-d378-4c72-8040-b1e0cfc7367aPost:d1283de5-cb0e-4fef-a6f3-2b87d6e7e5b9">Re: I think I'll pass on in-laws</a>:
[QUOTE]At least your FILs haven't accused you of "bringing the demons" on their family.  Yeah, my FILs are a bunch of religious freaks...and that's just one of the reasons my FI doesn't want them to even know we're getting married.  Hang in there....
Posted by lisarose7[/QUOTE]
ha i thought i was the only one in that situation.

desi2002

I used to work at a popular casino, and I was an operator there, so when you called, I picked up. Anywho, MIL called and harassed me at work ALL the time. Even when I wasn't there, she called and harassed my co workers. Needless to say, I got suspended.

CaptiolBride

I agreee. You could have just told her you would call her later or meet her later to finish the conversation. If someone just walked away from me while I was venting I'd be pretty pissed off. I don't know her side of the story in regards to your rela with her... but just jkeep trying to work on it.

lanajanelle

Fi's mother still lives in his native Mexico.  We've been dating for 4 years, and she refuses to even speak to me on the phone (I speak Spanish fluently), or on video-conference and she won't even try to come to our wedding.  His sister won't talk to me either.  He wants us to go stay with them for a couple months after we get married.  I THINK NOT

luckyme502

My mom and dad both do the repeated calling thing.  I've told them that when they call, I can see I missed their call and they will leave voice mail messages, but still call me every 15 minutes until I call them back.  It's really annoying when I leave a movie or a restaurant and I have 7 missed calls from them. 

notquiteblushing

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_think-ill-pass-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5fc79528-d378-4c72-8040-b1e0cfc7367aPost:95645f25-59a1-4e74-a2b6-f91c8e482f67">Re: I think I'll pass on in-laws</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I think I'll pass on in-laws : You should've grabbed the weed eater.  I don't think it would have killed you.  It was a test and you failed miserably.
Posted by bbyckes[/QUOTE]

ITA.  Seriously those things are fun to use.

luckyme502

I think I'll pass on paying taxes and looking older.