My Grandma thought it would be fun to call me fat...

lovetothinkpink

So I saw my grandmother a week ago for my birthday,she stopped by before I had to go to work.The visit goes well and she goes home.

I get a call later,and she goes "You're not going to like what I have to say".My immediate thought was well let's not say it then.She of course proceeds and goes "I'm concerned about your weight,I saw you and nearly gasped at your size" I could barely choke back the tears and told her I wasn't fat,and that I workout at least 3x a week plus long walks with the dogs. She then says "Well I don't know what your doing but you arn't doing it right,and you won't fit into that wedding dress of yours".

The comments that got me the most was the "I gasped at your size". She is acting like they should do a Discovery Health special on me,and airlift me onto a horse scale.She really pissed me off.

The kicker is that I said goodbye quickly,and hung up (I was about to cry) and she then left me a voicemail later saying that,that was incredibly rude of me to hang up so fast and she's angry with me.For fvck sakes,you continued to tell me I'm huge and I should just listen as long as you feel necessay...uh no.

Sorry my post was so garbled I'm just mad.Oh and by the way I am 5'8' and 140lbs.If she thinks I'm big then so be it.

laladypoet

tell her you don't take health advice from the walking dead.

jasmineh7777

I think it'd be fun to call your grandma a biitch.

Seriously though, she needs to stfu.

laurenclaire1386

Holy wow. You've got about 6 inches on me and we weigh the same. Your grandmother would DIE if she saw me. What a witch.

shellydiane820

Tell grandma her eyes must be going bad because clearly she hasn't noticed the horns coming out of her forehead either.

jasmineh7777

I might also throw around phrases like "nursing home" and "dying alone."

waltzingmatilda13

That sucks. Your grandmother sounds just peachy.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I'm 5'4, 135.  And if you're fat, then I'm a cow too.

I'm really sorry your grandma said those things to you - that was totally uncalled for.  I like to think that when parents or grandparents say things it's because they have concern or want to help - but it doesn't sound like she was very helpful at all.  What she said was hurtful.

Maybe talk to your grandma about this after you've calmed down?  I know it's difficult for you but gosh, why would she say something to you that is so insensitive to your feelings.  You're not fat or overweight by any means.  What's her deal?

COkristi

Your granny is loco. On a different note, I would really like some of your gold bon bon favors.

BecW2be

WTF? Let her be pissed at you. Tell her you're just as pissed at her for her rude behavior. That's so shitty. I'm sorry.

She sounds just like my grandmother, whom I couldn't stand when she was alive. I gained about 10lbs when I was around 19, going from 115 to 125, and she actually said, "If you don't stop gaining weight, you're going to be as big as I am!" I just looked at her and said, "Oh, Grandma. I won't live long enough to get to your size." My mom almost died, but Grandma never mentioned my weight again.

[Deleted User]

I'd tell her that you're going to have to put her in a cage if she doesn't stop acting all crazy.

jasmineh7777

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mr-grandma-thought-would-fun-call-fat?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:5fe875bb-6b74-4a54-af9d-4437761643bdPost:0f3ef5d1-d383-49a2-8e7d-2f6e5bc823b9">Re: My Grandma thought it would be fun to call me fat...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd tell her that you're going to have to put her in a cage if she doesn't stop acting all crazy.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

And take away her water bowl.

lovetothinkpink

My dad told me this is just her way of using "tough love". and to just go apologize to her.

I think my jaw might of dropped.My father wanted me to apologize to my grandmother for calling me Shamu? I told him I would need some time,and that I think I deserve an apology.He said it wasn't going to happen.

Fantastic!

lovetothinkpink

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mr-grandma-thought-would-fun-call-fat?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5fe875bb-6b74-4a54-af9d-4437761643bdPost:6ea397d5-cb04-4691-a753-3afd63cebb58">Re: My Grandma thought it would be fun to call me fat...</a>:
[QUOTE]Your granny is loco. On a different note, I would really like some of your gold bon bon favors.
Posted by COkristi[/QUOTE]

Thanks! If I have any leftovers I will send them over!

laladypoet

well then, move on. my grandma is a blunt biitch sometimes too, but if I didn't forgive and forget and then she kicked the bucket, I'd feel terrible.

prideeinpynk

Sounds like something my FI's grandma would say.

[Deleted User]

That's terrible, I'm sorry she acts like that. I don't think you owe her an apology at all and your dad should stand up for you.

My grandma used to tell me every time I saw her that I was going to Hell for not being baptized. Finally I said, "well, I guess I'll see you there," and she never said anything again.

kd.joseph

I'm sorry she said that to you. I'm 5'4 and 155 so I must be a whale in her eyes.

I had a grandma that did the same kind of stuff to everyone in the family. She was not a nice person.

And seriously 5'8 140 is probably perfect according to the AMA. Print out the BMI chart and mail it to her.

sarah0725

I'm 5'8" and I wish I was 140lbs. The closest I've been in the last few years was 145 after lots of dieting and exercising, and I thought I was smokin' then.

acmj11

I don't think you are the one who needs to do the apologizing!  And seriously, I must be obese by that scale...

lovetothinkpink

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mr-grandma-thought-would-fun-call-fat?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5fe875bb-6b74-4a54-af9d-4437761643bdPost:040c95a4-8dac-4563-948b-95af6a743c42">Re: My Grandma thought it would be fun to call me fat...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry she said that to you. I'm 5'4 and 155 so I must be a whale in her eyes. I had a grandma that did the same kind of stuff to everyone in the family. She was not a nice person. And seriously 5'8 140 is probably perfect according to the AMA. Print out the BMI chart and mail it to her.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

This could be a good idea. She is only saying that because in high school (6 years ago) I was 115lbs.I actually was disgustingly skinny.I think I even have a picture of me somewhere when I took someones bandana and tied it around my chest like a shirt,it was gross.

Since my body has changed quite a bit. I just got curvier and I don't think i could be that skinny ever again if I tried.I also don't want to be!

Labrnr

Now, your grandma's, and my grandma's,
sittin' by the fire
My grandma told your grandma,
"I'm gonna set your flag on fire."

Hey, now (hey now) Hey now, (hey now)
Iko-iko an dey (yeah)
Chakko mo fino, ah-nah-ney
Chakko mo fi-nah-ney

SarahPLiz

I think you should tell her she needs her vision checked or you will tell the authorities she shouldn't be driving anymore in that condition.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mr-grandma-thought-would-fun-call-fat?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:5fe875bb-6b74-4a54-af9d-4437761643bdPost:dfa16596-485a-49cf-9eee-dc7da68d6c6b">Re: My Grandma thought it would be fun to call me fat...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Grandma thought it would be fun to call me fat... : This could be a good idea. She is only saying that because in high school (6 years ago) I was 115lbs.I actually was disgustingly skinny.I think I even have a picture of me somewhere when I took someones bandana and tied it around my chest like a shirt,it was gross. Since my body has changed quite a bit. I just got curvier and I don't think i could be that skinny ever again if I tried.I also don't want to be!
Posted by lovetothinkpink[/QUOTE]

See I was the opposite, a little heavier in HS, and in my 20's I was 110-115. At one point I was 96lbs. I look at those pictures and think I was sick, so I know what you mean.
According to my BMI I should be about 135-140. But I quit smoking a few years ago and gained a bit of weight.

As far as I'm concerned you are a healthy weight.

ETA: I think she owes you the apology.

LedZeppelin

I'm sorry your grandma said that to you. That's terrible.

It sounds exactly like something my grandma would have said. She was very critical of everyone. I know this is a horrible thing to say, but she actually became much nicer after the dementia set in.

We would always just try to ignore it. I definitely don't think you owe her an apology.

If ignoring her doesn't work, I like jasmineh's idea of throwing around the words "nursing home" and dying alone."


*edited for spelling

GreenPepperBurger

That's terrible. I'm sorry she said those things to you. She would probably keel over if she saw me - I'm not even 5'3" and I'm about 135ish!

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Curves are hot anyway.

Tell your grandma you're happy to look like a real woman in your wedding dress, and not a pre-pubescent boy.

LD1970

THAT IS NOT FAT.

ETA:  No freaking way would I apologize to her.  You're an adult & just as much deserving of respect as she is.

baboox

Seriously, that is horribly rude.  And not accurate if that is your height and weight!  Perhaps a gentle reminder that she might want to rethink her words in the future, since you are likely to be the one who eventually chooses her nursing home.  And there are some rotten ones out there...

deepcovejackie

Your Dad told you to apologize to her?  Is it your Dad's mom?  Is that how he deals with her?  Clearly there are no consequences when she wanders around saying things like that to people.

If anyone needs to apologize it's grandma.  5'8" and 140 is NOT fat.  You'll look amazing in your dress, I'm sure.

lovetothinkpink

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mr-grandma-thought-would-fun-call-fat?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5fe875bb-6b74-4a54-af9d-4437761643bdPost:8fa2bd4f-77e2-489a-90b2-b440a98eff22">Re: My Grandma thought it would be fun to call me fat...</a>:
[QUOTE]Your Dad told you to apologize to her?  Is it your Dad's mom?  Is that how he deals with her?  Clearly there are no consequences when she wanders around saying things like that to people. If anyone needs to apologize it's grandma.  5'8" and 140 is NOT fat.  You'll look amazing in your dress, I'm sure.
Posted by deepcovejackie[/QUOTE]


It is my Dad's mom,and to be honest he probably agreed with her just to shut her up.I love my dad to pieces and he is great,but no one can deal with my grandmother,so he is more likely to throw me under the bus with her then defend me.