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Am I being a complete snot.

Oh, hai, wall-o-text.

I know I mentioned it in another thread that I'm majorly PMSing so this may contribute to my moodiness.  But whatever.

Talk me down.

My mother called this morning; apparently, some ladies from my home church (home is three hours away) want to throw me a shower.  Next weekend.  I know, I know, it's nice.  Just let them do it.  Bleh.  I'm just really bothered that I've been engaged for like, seven months, and it just occurs to them now that they must throw me a shower.  To clarify - I of course don't expect them to throw me a shower, in fact, I thought I was getting lucky to have dodged this shower being thrown for me (there are like 50 of these ladies and they all bought my sister a ton of really stupid crap last year).  My other shower is the night before and has been planned for a month.

My mom says she tried to explain to them that I'd probably be busy and that I wouldn't feel slighted if they didn't throw me a shower, but they're relentless.  So they want to throw me this damn shower next Saturday afternoon.  Which blows, because my hair trial is on Saturday at 10, and we are meeting with the pastor for the last time at noon, and I know I'm just not going to be in a mood to open a bunch of crap I don't want (man, I am sounding like such an ungrateful bitch). 

I know that I'll go to the shower and probably enjoy myself, I'm just annoyed that it's all being thrown together at the last minute and they're acting like it just has to happen. 

Then my mom told me she wants to see everything that's going into the wedding programs, which, I guess I understand.  However I already sent off the information to our chick who's doing them like, last week, and she's working on them already.  My mother flipped her shiit and is insisting that I email her all the information so she can look it over to see if I missed anything, because, apparently, I'm an idiot who would purposely forget something important.  I told her I'd email her the info, but that if anything is going to be added now, it's probably going to be an extra cost, since they're already being put together.  I guess, it just bothers me that she doesn't trust me to include everything in the damn program.  And maybe I just wanted some of it to be a surprise, but that's lame of me.

My mother.  Is.  Annoying. 

I.  Am probably.  Overreacting.

And this will all be behind me in three weeks so I know I'm probably being a big, stressed out baby for nothing.

I do feel better now, though.

Thank God it's Friday today so I can get hammered tonight.
panther

Re: Am I being a complete snot.

  • Breathe, my dear. These sound like several perfectly understandable irrational thoughts that can be smoothed out with several hugs and a bottle of wine. That is my prescription. :)
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  • Not a complete snot at all.

    Maybe just a bit stressed and targeting some llil old ladies that are just trying to do a super-nice thing.  Your mom IS being a tad unreasonable about the program thing.

    Here's what you should do:  yell at me.  Blame me for every single glitch and stressful thing that comes your way prior to the wedding and just try to enjoy yourself.  Don't let the stress get to you.  I "heart" you.
  • Hahahahaha!  I love you   Kiss
    imageimage
  • Oooookay!!!

    As far as the shower goes, just go and get rid of the shiit you don't want ASAP. And don't send it to one of us for the SS cause we probably don't want that crap either. Am I helping any?? LOL!! Can you take some friends with you to help you enjoy yourself more? Sisters?

    As far as your mom, just email her the info and let her say what she has to say. There MIGHT be something that you did forget and if she mentions something that you don't want to add, just say okay and let it go.

    PMS is a BETCH!!! I am so happy that mine was last weekend and not coming so close to the wedding cause this stuff can drive you to run a fool off the road!!

    Feel better hun and don't get too wasted lata!!
    And the whole time, my future husband was in the room...... image image
  • That blows that its so last minute but you will probably have a great time. The last few weeks seem to have tons of last minute crap come up and everyone just starts to annoy you...its normal. I think :)
    Have fun with it and get hammered today. I know I am.

    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • So anna, can I yell too?? My wedding is before hers!!! ~~whining~~
    And the whole time, my future husband was in the room...... image image
  • Well, dear, I think you are NOT being a snot about your mother needing to check everything over in your programs.   However, I think you are being a snot about the shower.  Try to take kindness with kindness, if you can. 

    If you get really crappy stuff, showcase it here and we'll all get a laugh out of the
     "1001 Uses for Cream of Mushrooom Soup" cookbook and Bless This Mess plaque. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-being-complete-snot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:68672781-da14-4143-a369-a5c1b8e9db4dPost:6f634275-2198-4f18-8ab9-29eaabcbfd3a">Re: Am I being a complete snot.</a>:
    [QUOTE]So anna, can I yell too?? My wedding is before hers!!! ~~whining~~
    Posted by MISSCOURTNEY20[/QUOTE]


    Yell away!  Blame me for it all.  i don't mind, i can take it.   ;)
  • It's just like my coworkers telling me this week that they want to take me out today after school. I was supposed to get my daughter's report card after I got off. Her dad is picking her up from school, so he will get it, but I had to work that out.

    Letting people be nice is sometimes a little stressful. Go figure!!
    And the whole time, my future husband was in the room...... image image
  • I do feel better after knowing I can blame it all on anna.  I heart you too, woman.  But damn, WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME.

    OWN - I know I'm being a snot about the shower.  In fact... maybe it won't even happen.  But maybe it will.  And I'll go, and it'll be nice.  Who knows.  Maybe they won't give crap gifts.  

    I will pray extra hard.
    panther
  • The shower planning is annoying, but it seems like you kind of have to. It's a nice guesture and we want to see pics of the top 10 worst gifts, thanks!

    The program, sucks. I take it mom is paying for the wedding? This gives them a sense of control. I don't know how old you are, but I think you're pretty young and she may still be babying you. You'll grow out of it, or have to have a little chat with her about how you're a grown up now. My mom's a control freak, I understand.

    Wine fixes everything. Drink it all away. And if that doesn't work, try vodka.

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  • edited October 2010
    kcullen, yeah, Ben's and my folks are paying - which I TOTALLY understand, means they have a say and stuff.  It's just been interesting planning this wedding while she is at home, and I am three hours away.

    I'm 26 :) So I guess fairly young?  I think she acts this way because my younger sister got married last year and now my mom is apparently a professional wedding planner.  I clearly have no clue what I'm doing.
    panther
  • ::cowers with tail between legs::  I love you?

    No, just kidding.  I'm a raving bitch normally, anyway, so I commiserate.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-being-complete-snot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:68672781-da14-4143-a369-a5c1b8e9db4dPost:a7689b8a-6366-45b3-b442-9b82b3f78518">Re: Am I being a complete snot.</a>:
    [QUOTE]kcullen, yeah, Ben's and my folks are paying - which I TOTALLY understand, means they have a say and stuff.  It's just been interesting planning this wedding while she is at home, and I am three hours away. <strong>I'm 26 :) So I guess fairly young?</strong>  I<strong> think she acts this way because my younger sister got married last year and now my mom is apparently a professional wedding planner.</strong>  I clearly have no clue what I'm doing.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    You're young, I actually thought you were even younger though from your picture - go you! It's never fun not being the first daugther to get married I've decided. My mom keeps trying to throw the same wedding for me as my sister had SEVEN years ago. She even was trying to get us to have it at the same venue, go to the same bridal shop, wear my sister's tiara etc. But I steered her away from the first one b/c it's not our style. I'll consider price shopping at the second, but it's really out of the way for me, and I tried on her tiara and it hurt my head. And all this time I though my sister was the big head in the family, huh.

    Just a few more weeks of dealing with mommy dearest wedding plans, you can make it with a little help from cabernet ;)

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  • edited October 2010
    My mom wanted my bridesmaids to wear the same bridesmaids dresses my sister used.

    Lol, I hired all the vendors - and she was upset I didn't hire the same DJ.  The DJ my sister had is kind of a family friend - but he used to cut all of her tapes for her dance routines, so she knew him.  I had never dealt with him before and I know a guy who works at the junior college I went to for my first year of college, who DJs - so I hired him.  I just know him better and he gets me.  She was concerned the other DJ would be offended.  Whatever.

    She also really wanted my old babysitter to sit at my guestbook.  Blugh.  I was a junior bridesmaid in my old babysitter's wedding years ago - and I guess my mom has a tit-for-tat wedding mentality; that because I was in her wedding years ago, she has to have a role at mine.  Except sitting at a guestbook is horrid and I don't even want an annoying cousin to do it.  My mom said "Well how are people supposed to know how to sign the guest book!?"

    Yeah.  Really.

    In the end I bought a photo mat for people to sign instead. 
    panther
  • You mom is being annoying on the programs, but don't worry about it, just give her what she wants.

    The old ladies are being sweet, they are just forgetting how busy the month before a wedding can be. That's okay, too just go and you will have fun no matter what they give you (you might be surprised and get some nice stuff, and if not it is still really, really sweet!)

    I don't think you are being a snot, you are just freaking out a little. It is pretty normal to freak out a little a month and less out.
  • I would feel horrible having some one stand around like a tool telling people to sign the guestbook, it's more of a punishment than an honor lol.

    And like the same BM dresses as in design, or literally the same ones, second hand?


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-being-complete-snot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:68672781-da14-4143-a369-a5c1b8e9db4dPost:8a29fb25-8833-4b72-abea-3afbbb2d6cf6">Re: Am I being a complete snot.</a>:
    [QUOTE] My mom said "Well how are people supposed to know how to sign the guest book!?" Yeah.  Really. In the end I bought a photo mat for people to sign instead. 
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    Wow mom. Ha.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-being-complete-snot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:68672781-da14-4143-a369-a5c1b8e9db4dPost:8a29fb25-8833-4b72-abea-3afbbb2d6cf6">Re: Am I being a complete snot.</a>:
    [QUOTE]My mom wanted my bridesmaids to wear the same bridesmaids dresses my sister used. Lol, I hired all the vendors - and she was upset I didn't hire the same DJ.  The DJ my sister had is kind of a family friend - but he used to cut all of her tapes for her dance routines, so she knew him.  I had never dealt with him before and I know a guy who works at the junior college I went to for my first year of college, who DJs - so I hired him.  I just know him better and he gets me.  She was concerned the other DJ would be offended.  Whatever. She also really wanted my old babysitter to sit at my guestbook.   Blugh.  I was a junior bridesmaid in my old babysitter's wedding years ago - and I guess my mom has a tit-for-tat wedding mentality; that because I was in her wedding years ago, she has to have a role at mine.  Except sitting at a guestbook is horrid and I don't even want an annoying cousin to do it.  My mom said "Well how are people supposed to know how to sign the guest book!?" Yeah.  Really. <strong>In the end I bought a photo mat for people to sign instead. </strong>
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    We did this too. Great minds....I tell ya!!
    And the whole time, my future husband was in the room...... image image
  • edited October 2010
    She thought we should use the same dress, just in my color.  In theory it wouldn't be a HORRIBLE idea, because they were nice dresses.  But my wedding is literally on the same weekend a year later, lol, we are using the same caterer, cake lady, venue (chapel is different though), pastor, a few other things are the same.  I just wanted SOME stuff to be different.

    ETA - Court, great minds indeed :)
    panther
  • For the last 2 or 3 weekends before my wedding, I was also unnaturally 'zilla-like. I was all, "DOESN'T. ANYONE. UNDERSTAND. I. DON'T. HAVE. TIME. FOR. THEIR. CRAP!" Anytime someone brought up even going to breakfast or seeing each other or asked me a question about the wedding that I had answered for them 3 times already I felt like screaming into a pillow.
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  • Which sister is the married one? Is she older than you? Are you the second-oldest?
    my read shelf:
    Meredith's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    40/112

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  • If they give you crap you don't need, don't want but can't return - just donate it. These days so many people need so many things that it won't go to waste.


  • I feel better after your posts, Mery.  lol.

    My married sister is the one directly to the right of me in my sig pic - I'm in pink, she's in grey.  She's 23, I'm 26.
    panther
  • So you already have plans for the Saturday they want to do the shower?  If you *really* don't want to go I don't think it's out of line to say you already have plans that day.  They waited until the last minute to plan it without checking the date with you so it is a plausible excuse not to go.  However if you don't really mind and you go, you'll probably have a good time and might end up getting some nice things :)

    Totally not being a snot about your mom wanting to check your programs.  You are an adult, she should trust you to handle it.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-being-complete-snot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:68672781-da14-4143-a369-a5c1b8e9db4dPost:1535fbc4-fae9-478d-b37e-faa616afd943">Re: Am I being a complete snot.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Breathe, my dear. These sound like several perfectly understandable irrational thoughts that can be smoothed out with several hugs and a bottle of wine. That is my prescription. :)
    Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

    Ditto.
    Anniversary
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