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Partial Cash Bar??

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Re: Partial Cash Bar??

  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : If you're paying for the wedding you should be paying for your guests refreshments.
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

    If I'm going to be paying for my own drinks, they can too!  In no way is it rude!  It would be rude if I was sitting back collecting all of the money from the drinks!
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  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : If I'm going to be paying for my own drinks, they can too!  In no way is it rude!  It would be rude if I was sitting back collecting all of the money from the drinks!
    Posted by katielea2[/QUOTE]
    You are paying for your own drinks because you are hosting.
    Would you invite people over for dinner then charge them for the wine they drink?
  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : You are paying for your own drinks because you are hosting. Would you invite people over for dinner then charge them for the wine they drink?
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

    Nope, because I don't drink wine or beer, so they would know to bring their own.   We are paying for beer, if they want liquor, they will have to buy it themselves.  If they don't want liquor, they don't have to pay for anything!  We will just have the option available.
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  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : Nope, because I don't drink wine or beer, so they would know to bring their own.   We are paying for beer, if they want liquor, they will have to buy it themselves.  If they don't want liquor, they don't have to pay for anything!  We will just have the option available.
    Posted by katielea2[/QUOTE]
    Ok, well you've mentioned having a drink at your wedding so what? A mixed drink?
    Then fine, you have guest over and make them a whiskey sour are you charging them?
  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : Ok, well you've mentioned having a drink at your wedding so what? A mixed drink? Then fine, you have guest over and make them a whiskey sour are you charging them?
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

    No, they can bring their own. I don't keep alcohol in the house and I'm not gonna go out and buy some when people come over.  If I go to someone's house, I bring my own automatically!
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  • You're being ridiculous.
  • I can understand the Cash bar only being thought of as rude.  But the Partial cash bar isn't...you are atleast paying for 1 or 2 alcoholic beverages, and having the harder stuff as an option.  Your guests will have plenty to pick from without paying, but if they want to add Jack to their coke, then it's perfectly fine for them to pay for it.  Some people, like myself, don't like beer or wine and will want the harder liquor.  If that's the case, having the option to have the harder liquor is better than not having it at all!    You can tell me I'm rude all you want, but that's the way I'm having it.  Really I'm not having a wedding to please all my guests.  It's MY day not my guests day! 
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  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]You're being ridiculous.
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]
    Yup.

    especially after the "It's my day line." Any one who uses that is the most ridiculously entitled person.
  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : Yup. especially after the "It's my day line." Any one who uses that is the most ridiculously entitled person.
    Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]
    MY turn to yup you.
    I'm so sick of the "It's MY day!1!!11!"
  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : Yup. especially after the "It's my day line." Any one who uses that is the most ridiculously entitled person.
    Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

    Ugh, totally agree.  If it's YOUR day, spend it alone.
  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : No, they can bring their own. I don't keep alcohol in the house and I'm not gonna go out and buy some when people come over.  If I go to someone's house, I bring my own automatically!
    Posted by katielea2[/QUOTE]

    Well, it's good to know that you're always a shiity hostess, not just on YOUR DAY!
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  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : No, they can bring their own. I don't keep alcohol in the house and I'm not gonna go out and buy some when people come over.  If I go to someone's house, I bring my own automatically!
    Posted by katielea2[/QUOTE]

    I'm guessing you don't have many dinner guests over...

    Just because you're usually a shitty host doesn't give you permission to be one at your wedding also.
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  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : I'm guessing you don't have many dinner guests over... Just because you're usually a shitty host doesn't give you permission to be one at your wedding also.
    Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

    If I have dinner guests over they automatically bring their own drinks, and I do the same.  If I go to a friends house for dinner, I'll bring my own.  I've also taken over drinks for some as a thank you for inviting us.  That's just me and how I do it.

    To the rest of you girls....It is MY day so get the hell over it!  The only people there that I care for are our family and friends and they all know us and know what to expect from us.  The rest of the people are my parents friends and I am really not there to impress them with the reception 
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  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]I'm having a partial cash bar at my wedding....I talked to my honey, families and friends about it and some coworkers and they all said that was fine. I've been the bartender at about 2 dozen weddings. Alot were cash bar or partial cash bars....and you know what? NO ONE CARED!!!!! These were all Hilton events also. People were totally fine with it. i'm doing a partial cash bar because I don't want to have to post a sob story about how my wedding was ruined because a couple people don't know when to stop. Cash bars help prevent that and honestly I know there are a lot of people that don't drink wine, or beer. Personally if people are so upset about a cash bar that they walk out of my wedding, then my honey and I are gratefult hey left early instead of spending the entire event pretending to care about us. And if some people think its tacky, fine. They probably will hate everything else and think everything except their perfect consumer oriented tastes are tacky as well. Its better than a wedding in a public park, or vegas chapel, or going into complete debt. Or asking for contributions to the couples honeymoon....i think thats tacky!
    Posted by jlwoolery1[/QUOTE]

    Love it!
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  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : If I have dinner guests over they automatically bring their own drinks, and I do the same.  If I go to a friends house for dinner, I'll bring my own.  I've also taken over drinks for some as a thank you for inviting us.  That's just me and how I do it.

    To the rest of you girls....It is MY day so get the hell over it!  The only people there that I care for are our family and friends and they all know us and know what to expect from us.  The rest of the people are my parents friends and I am really not there to impress them with the reception 
    Posted by katielea2[/QUOTE]

    I've brought over wine as a hostess gift before, but I have never expected for them to open it just to satisfy my tastes. 

    And while I'll sometimes bring my own beer to a larger, more casual party, I have never been to one where the host hadn't provided ANYTHING.

    As for the bolded part, it's actually a day to celebrate you and your FI, but the second you invite other people to share in your event, it becomes about them, too.
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  • edited April 2010
    In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : If I have dinner guests over they automatically bring their own drinks, and I do the same.  If I go to a friends house for dinner, I'll bring my own.  I've also taken over drinks for some as a thank you for inviting us.  That's just me and how I do it. To the rest of you girls....It is MY day so get the hell over it!  The only people there that I care for are our family and friends and they all know us and know what to expect from us.  The rest of the people are my parents friends and I am really not there to impress them with the reception 
    Posted by katielea2[/QUOTE]

    I'm sure they'd be elated to know that they're spending their free time coming to a wedding where the host doesn't care whether they're comfortable or enjoying themselves, because they're not as important as the other guests. If you don't care about these people, DON'T INVITE THEM. I bet you have no problem cashing their gift checks though.



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  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : If I have dinner guests over they automatically bring their own drinks, and I do the same.  If I go to a friends house for dinner, I'll bring my own.  I've also taken over drinks for some as a thank you for inviting us.  That's just me and how I do it. To the rest of you girls....It is MY day so get the hell over it!  The only people there that I care for are our family and friends and they all know us and know what to expect from us.  The rest of the people are my parents friends and I am really not there to impress them with the reception 
    Posted by katielea2[/QUOTE]
    I would never expect that I have to bring my OWN drinks for dinner at a friends house. You're a shitty hostess if you expect people to do so.
    Wow, you don't even care about half of your guest? Why the hell did you invite them?
    You suck.
  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]It makes me wonder if the girls who are having complete open bars are the ones paying $20,000 or more for their wedding.  Well, I hope you have fun with your debt as us "cash-bar-girls" are living out of it!  My FI and I are serving beer, wine, having a cocktail hour with free rail drinks, and having bride and groom specialty drinks.  Other than that, we are having a cash bar.  I feel that SOME alcohol should be paid for, but not everything.  Why should a bride and groom pay for someone to get drunk at their wedding?  If a guest wants a special drink, then that is up to them.  I am standing steadfast that a partial cash bar IS NOT RUDE, NOR IS IT A FAUX PAS.  Everybody has their own views, own opinions, and every wedding is different.  Do what is comfortable for you and your budget and be happy.  Your guests shouldn't mind at all if they are true family and friends. 
    Posted by goetzr19[/QUOTE]

    Host what you can afford. How many times do I need to repeat this? It is NOT rude to have a dry wedding or supply limited alcohol. It IS rude to pass what YOU cannot afford onto your guests.

    And who the hell are you inviting to your wedding? An entire fraternity? I drink alcohol in social situations as 1) a celebration of whomever we are celebrating, such as a birthday or wedding, 2) because I enjoy the taste and sociability that alcoholic beverages bring. I NEVER drink to get wasted. (Those who do *might* be alcoholics and therefore need help, FYI.) I think that's a huge life lesson that distinguishes adults from those who go to college keggers. Not to mention, who are you to judge other people's drinking habits? You aren't my mother. Hell, even my mother doesn't have the authority to make those decisions for me, since I'm an adult.
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  • Goetz-  20,000 is less than the average cost of a wedding in Mass and all weddings I go to in Mass (except once) are open bar. Relax yo bad self and realize the dollar amount =/= sacrificing your budget to make your guests comfortable.
  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]I'm having a partial cash bar at my wedding....I talked to my honey, families and friends about it and some coworkers and they all said that was fine. I've been the bartender at about 2 dozen weddings. Alot were cash bar or partial cash bars....and you know what? NO ONE CARED!!!!! These were all Hilton events also. People were totally fine with it. i'm doing a partial cash bar because I don't want to have to post a sob story about how my wedding was ruined because a couple people don't know when to stop. Cash bars help prevent that and honestly I know there are a lot of people that don't drink wine, or beer. Personally if people are so upset about a cash bar that they walk out of my wedding, then my honey and I are gratefult hey left early instead of spending the entire event pretending to care about us. And if some people think its tacky, fine. They probably will hate everything else and think everything except their perfect consumer oriented tastes are tacky as well. Its better than a wedding in a public park, or vegas chapel, or going into complete debt. Or asking for contributions to the couples honeymoon....i think thats tacky!
    Posted by jlwoolery1[/QUOTE]

    Excuse me, but I am getting married in a public (state) park, then going to hold a reception with non-alcoholics (sodas, tea, juices) AND beer.  If my guests don't want beer, they don't have to drink it, but they damm well do NOT have to pay for it, AT ALL. Oh, and one more thing, we are going to have one heluva good time while we're at it.
  • I am so surprised that some of these classy ladies think the guests need to shell out even more money on the bride. Really? They went out of their way to buy you a gift, wrap the damn thing, dry clean their clothes, get all dressed up, sit through "your day" and you wanna nickel and dime them?
    Just do what you can afford. It's that easy.
    Leave the cash bar, dollar dance, and all that crap behind. It's 2010. Be a big girl, and buy your Aunt Lush a martini.
    Ca' mon.


  • In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]I am so surprised that some of these classy ladies think the guests need to shell out even more money on the bride. Really? They went out of their way to buy you a gift, wrap the damn thing, dry clean their clothes, get all dressed up, sit through "your day" and you wanna nickel and dime them? Just do what you can afford. It's that easy. Leave the cash bar, dollar dance, and all that crap behind. It's 2010. Be a big girl, and buy your Aunt Lush a martini. Ca' mon.
    Posted by chyleina[/QUOTE]

    A-men!
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • I don't know if anyone suggested this befoe, but I have head of people doing a signature cocktail with beer and wine but no other hard alcohol...I heard it helps you save quite a bit because then you don't need a full selection of premium liquor...i am not a fan of cash bar but then again it sounds like your guests have a  lot of choices and i doubt you will see too many people having vodka tonics for $7 if they could have beer and wine for free
    I couldn't tell you the day that I fell in love...but fall I did...head over heels in fact...Can't wait until I marry the love of my life.
  • There are so many comments about "making" your guests pay for things. This seems to be the wrong way to look at things. Having a dry wedding, versus a cash bar doesn't make any sense. So you can't afford to host the bar, that means everyone shouldn't be allowed to drink at all? I have multiple friends that would be far more disappointed over no option for alcohol at all, than having to pay for it. Seems like much more of an inconvenience to your guests to not even give them the option. I intend to host beer and wine, and only up to a predetermined limit. I can't afford to pay for people to get trashed, so my limit is enough for everyone to have 2 or 3 drinks. It seems rude of a guest to expect us to pay for more than that, especially when we are paying for the wedding ourselves, and on a tight budget. We are paying full price for those drinks. It would be like taking a friend out to dinner, and even though they know you aren't rich, they order the most expensive item on the menu, and tons of expensive drinks. In that situation, I would expect everyone to say your dinner guest is rude for taking advantage of your offer, and spending more than what's reasonable. A wedding is still the Bride and Groom's day, and not a day for the Bride and Groom to unreasonably extend themselves to accomodate their guests, with even more than a fun evening, food, dancing, and the experience of sharing such a special day with people they care about.
  • edited July 2010
    In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]There are so many comments about "making" your guests pay for things. This seems to be the wrong way to look at things. Having a dry wedding, versus a cash bar doesn't make any sense. So you can't afford to host the bar, that means everyone shouldn't be allowed to drink at all? I have multiple friends that would be far more disappointed over no option for alcohol at all, than having to pay for it. Seems like much more of an inconvenience to your guests to not even give them the option. I intend to host beer and wine, and only up to a predetermined limit. I can't afford to pay for people to get trashed, so my limit is enough for everyone to have 2 or 3 drinks. It seems rude of a guest to expect us to pay for more than that, especially when we are paying for the wedding ourselves, and on a tight budget. We are paying full price for those drinks. It would be like taking a friend out to dinner, and even though they know you aren't rich, they order the most expensive item on the menu, and tons of expensive drinks. In that situation, I would expect everyone to say your dinner guest is rude for taking advantage of your offer, and spending more than what's reasonable. A wedding is still the Bride and Groom's day, and not a day for the Bride and Groom to unreasonably extend themselves to accomodate their guests, with even more than a fun evening, food, dancing, and the experience of sharing such a special day with people they care about.
    Posted by bluestar420[/QUOTE]

    If I go visit a friend, and she doesn't have alcohol at her home, but she does have food and non-alcoholic drinks, that's totally fine.  If I go visit a friend, but after my first glass of wine, she asks if I want more, I accept, and then she says, "it's $5," that's totally not cool. 

    I don't see the problem with a dry wedding. I've been to dry receptions, and they were great...the best wedding I ever attended was dry.  It just means more creativity on the part of the hosts.  One of the worst I attended had a cash bar...the hosts went all out with the ceremony and reception venue at a posh country club, but then they charged $5 for drinks, and because I had no cash (I didn't know they had a cash bar until I got there!), no drinks for me or the rest of my table (who knew the bride but no one else at the reception and the music was boring too), and so we all left early.

    You're talking about how you can't afford for people to get trashed, but at the same time, you think it's wrong to "not allow" for them to drink?  It doesn't make sense.

    In your restaurant scenario, I would say that if you can't afford to pay for that person's meal, don't offer.  I was always taught that when someone treats you for dinner, not to ask what their budget is, and take it as a gift.  I personally wouldn't get the most expensive item because I am a considerate person.  At the same time, though, if I were the one offering, I would be prepared to pay for the person's meal, whatever they chose.  If I can't do it, I don't offer.  Same with the bar situation...you are hosting...if you can't pay it, don't offer. 

    Not every party (which is what a reception is, essentially) must involve alcohol, but if you as host are offering it, the guests shouldn't go out of pocket.  The purpose of a reception is to thank your guests for coming to your wedding.  Since you are including them and they are going out of their way for you (time, dress outfit, travel, gift), you should be willing to go out of your way for them (in a way you can afford and at the same time show that you are a gracious host).   It ceases being just "the bride and groom's day" when others are involved.  If the bride and groom just want it to be about them they can JOP it (no offense to those taking that route) and party/honeymoon to their heart's content...by themselves.
  • WOW girls are really REALLY rude to each other over this issue....  It's an issue that my fiance and I are still debating heavily.  He and I don't drink at all and some members of my family have drinking problems.  My parents, who are helping to pay for the wedding want to do a cash-only bar, but I realize how this could come across to some people, so I am thinking of doing a limited bar.  At our venue even to do a limited bar of wine and beer for 55 guests (not hard alcohol) for just a few hours (not even the whole night) is adding over $2,000 to our wedding.  We're wanting to do beer and wine for the whole night, but we're not sure how much that will cost, yet.  But, it seems like from this thread we would be considered "cheap" and "rude" because we won't be adding $6,000+ to serve our guests whatever they want the whole night.  And we're not talking a 400 guest wedding here... We're talking way less than 100 guests.  I'm sorry, but I don't consider us to be cheap for spending $2,000 on something that we, honestly don't enjoy at all and are only doing for our guests....

    Many ladies posting in this thread seem downright rude themselves, to be honest.
  • I second what's below....

    In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar??:
    [QUOTE]There are so many comments about "making" your guests pay for things. This seems to be the wrong way to look at things. Having a dry wedding, versus a cash bar doesn't make any sense. So you can't afford to host the bar, that means everyone shouldn't be allowed to drink at all? I have multiple friends that would be far more disappointed over no option for alcohol at all, than having to pay for it. Seems like much more of an inconvenience to your guests to not even give them the option. I intend to host beer and wine, and only up to a predetermined limit. I can't afford to pay for people to get trashed, so my limit is enough for everyone to have 2 or 3 drinks. It seems rude of a guest to expect us to pay for more than that, especially when we are paying for the wedding ourselves, and on a tight budget. We are paying full price for those drinks. It would be like taking a friend out to dinner, and even though they know you aren't rich, they order the most expensive item on the menu, and tons of expensive drinks. In that situation, I would expect everyone to say your dinner guest is rude for taking advantage of your offer, and spending more than what's reasonable. A wedding is still the Bride and Groom's day, and not a day for the Bride and Groom to unreasonably extend themselves to accomodate their guests, with even more than a fun evening, food, dancing, and the experience of sharing such a special day with people they care about.
    Posted by bluestar420[/QUOTE]
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