Chicken dance...? Ugh.

paigesells

So, my FI is from a small town in Nebraska, has some small-town ideals on traditions, etc. I HATE the idea of playing the Chicken Dance, Macarena, and the Hockey Pokey (among others) at the reception. There will be lots of kids there, who I'm sure would enjoy them, but I am repulsed by it. He seems to think its essential, and I know that if I hear them, I'll probably cry (out of anger). We even got in a little argument about it the other night. I want it to be a fun party above all else. We have the majority of our guests traveling from out of town and want to make it worth their travels. Am I right to be so opposed, or is this a minor battle that I shouldn't worry about fighting? Is this just me starting to turn into a Bridezilla?? I need a little input from another source...help!

HappyTummy613

::chicken dances through post::

JaimeeP

It's his wedding, too and if it's that important to him, let him pick one. Let the DJ know that you just want that one selection, since his family will probably request more. This is not worth fighting about.

SarahB89

I agree with the previous poster...it is his wedding too, and 1 or 2 songs out of many shouldn't be the end of things...just let loose and have fun with it!

deepcovejackie

Are you going to DIE if they're played?  Will actual DEATH ensue?  If not, I'm advising that you suck up the *ugh* and do the chicken dance.  It's your grooms wedding too.  My real advice would be, yep, you're doing the macarena!!

[Deleted User]

haha I dislike all of those over played, ridiculous songs, but my FI wants the chicken dance played because he thinks some of our family will look ridiculous after a few drinks-now, I really don't want to ask for a scene so I was just going to tell the DJ NOT to play it, but IDK, maybe it would be funny to watch the day after. haha

duckie1905

I think you are being a tad dramatic.  You'll cry out of anger?  Really?  That seems over the top.  They are just songs.

cellarius

i totally completely agree with you! that does not make you a bridezilla it means you actually have taste. i would probably cry too lol. those songs are disgusting. i'm glad my FI agrees but it really wouldn't make one bit of difference if he didn't! lol absolutely NO WAY would i ever play them anywhere much less at my wedding. it just screams tacky. ugh gross. i would stand your ground for sure. it's really not an actual tradition to play those songs. i've never ever been to a wedding where they did thank god. it's just an awful idea someone did & then ppl for some crazy reason followed. that makes it dumb, not a must do. there are plenty of fun songs that are actually good & don't make everyone there including you look ridiculous. ask if he really wants you crying at your own wedding & it being ruined by something he did? just say you won't bend on this & that it means alot to you. you want your wedding to be special & elegant & it can still be fun without being immature & corny. don't give in!lol

Tmmeans07

Okay, what about if you played some toward the beginning, while you're getting pictures taken? That way they still get played, but you won't have to dance.

Or, you can just make your FI happy and play them. I don't think I've ever read that a bride died from hearing annoying songs at her own wedding.

liz745

I agree that they are pretty horrible songs, but is it really that big of a deal? They are only a few minutes and the reception is hours! Just let your FI have his fun, its his wedding too.

notagirlikeme

I'm giving a "do not play" list to the dj.  I loathe those songs.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_chicken-dance-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:731ba2f3-637b-40bf-b328-0b631b123f0aPost:3f3466df-0cbc-40d1-87be-36bec13d2aee">Chicken dance...? Ugh.</a>:
[QUOTE] He seems to think its essential,<strong> and I know that if I hear them, I'll probably cry (out of anger)</strong>.
Posted by paigesells[/QUOTE]

Come on. Seriously? I hate those songs too and they are on my do not play list, but if you are going to cry over the songs played at your reception, I think you need to invest in some better coping skills.

_Fenton

I would have a private call with my DJ and explain that my husband is super WT and doesn't know any better, and the DJ should just mysteriously not be able to find those discs at the reception.

cameroncurran

I am with you, I hate those songs and I roll my eyes when they are played at receptions. With that being said, he wants them and you have some kiddies that would appreciate it, why not play one, have the dj make it obvious that it is for kids enjoyment and encourage everyone to join in. As much as I think it is all about the bride, it is also a little about the groom and a little about the guests enjoyment. If you make the kids happy for one song, their parents would be very pleased with you!

jrksle

If you truly care about this being a fun party for everyone, then that should include his family and the kids too. You don't have to play them all night, but I think you do need to play at least one.

My family has a tradition where all of the guests surround the couple on the dance floor and do the chicken dance to wish the couple luck. I'm not fond of the song or the foolish dance, but I'm not going to stop people from having fun.

aldewitt

I felt the same way and had made a do-not-play list that I was absolutely adamant about.  At my reception, however, DH's 65 year old uncle requested the electric slide.  It was on my do-not-play list so the DJ asked me if it was okay.  Since I didn't feel like it was a good idea to either go bridezilla and deny his elderly uncle's request or to pout like a baby, I said it was okay.  And you know what?  It made his uncle very happy and a few people who sat down all night got up and danced for that one song (because it was familiar, I guess).

My point is this: little things that seems like a huge deal now probably won't matter to you at the reception, as long as everyone is having a great time.  I understand not wanting to hear the "tacky stuff" all night, but one song isn't going to kill the evening.  I'm sure you're going to have the place looking fabulous, so it won't make your wedding look tacky either.  This could be an easy are to make a compromise.  

[Deleted User]

My fiance is a musician so we are being very selective about the reception music.

We are completely forgoing the usual "group dances" ie chicken, etc
We are using Time Warp (we are theatre people) and Thriller for those people that want to do a fun dance.

shainarae714

I also despise those songs (also polka and most country music).  I am fortunate to have a FI who agrees with me.  So, those are definitely on our do not play list. 

However, if it is important to your FI, I don't think it's unreasonable to come to a compromise.  I, personally, believe that the FI should be fully involved in the planning and decision making process, but if he/she is not, than why not let them have 10% if you're getting 90% of what you want?  The chicken dance, etc. sucks, but it's not worth letting it ruin your wedding day.

newgate309

I loathe group dances, and my DJ actually has a "no cheese" policy haha so they won't be played. I really don't mind the chicken dance - I think it's hilarious. So maybe give your fiance that one and ban the others.

Da0419

Yikes, I'm going to side with you on this one.  All those songs (esp. the chicken dance) are on our "Do Not Play" list.  If your guests are coming to your wedding to get down to the Chicken Dance, you've got a sad sad group of friends.  I think that people are there to celebrate the two of you and that they don't go to weddings to hear crappy music.  If it's really that important to your groom (like maybe he's a groomzilla), then I would maybe, maybe compromise with one or two songs, but seriously, including or excluding the Macarena is not going to make or break your wedding celebration...fear not, your wedding will not be doomed if the DJ foregoes the hokey pokey.

schroeders78

Just because some people like the chicken dance doesn't mean you have a "sad group of friends". That means your friends like to let loose and have fun. Maybe that means that your friends are stuffy and lame!

The wedding just isn't about YOU! It's about both of you and if you can't handle a few 3 minutes songs that your FI/guests/family will have fun with then maybe you need a few drinks to lighten up! Those songs aren't my first choice either, but I don't think I'll cry out in anger if they're played.... lighten up. It's supposed to be about the two of you being happy and having fun that night - suck it up and give in.

DivineMsMel

The chicken dance sucks.
So does the Hokey pokey.

I'd rather do the electric slide or YMCA than either of those!

ashleyhupke

how about the limbo ? maybe you two could meet in the middle? have him tell you all the ones he wants than pick two or three and if you dont wanna hear it step out of the room or get really drunk before they are played lol then it wont matter

jacquikev

I'm giving the DJ a do not play list with all of those one it. Mine is an adult only wedding, so theres no need to play them. but if your fiance will cry if he doesnt get them, you might have to play one. or maybe you can come up with another alternative. 

mishy112

The fact that he's willing to argue with you about it seems like it's pretty important to him, especially when many guys don't seem to care much about the planning (don't know if that fits your guy or not). I agree w/ PP who said give in a little and play 2-3 songs he wants. You might think you'll cry, but my guess is that you'll be so happy on your big day, it won't really matter when the time comes. But it will mean something to your FI and set the tone for a loving, compromising marriage.

robandal

I completely agree with you!!!! I would NEVER allow any of these songs to be played at my reception. ever. ever. ever. And I, also, would cry if they were played. Yes, its just a song, but it's also your wedding! I understand! But, if it's super important for him(which for mine it thankfully is not) agree to play one. Choose the least repulsive of the songs and play it. Only after several several drinks

mlekitty

If you're not having a wedding reception for your guests, then for whom are you having it?  Give them what they want.  Otherwise, just elope.

KQtobe

i think the guests would love those dances. if you want to make it worth their while, make it fun. especially for the kids. if they arent having fun, theyre gonna be crying. now which is worse. plus, like others have said. its his wedding too.