I realize the title of this makes it seem like it belongs on TheBump. But it is hillarious and I think that some of you will appreciate it.
Since I do get physically ill with MS in the mornings fairly often I have slowed down my morning routine. After eating my breakfast of crackers, juice, or other non-offensive foods I rest and watch The Today Show for 15-30 minutes to make sure I am not feeling ill and can handle a 15 minute drive to work.
This morning I did just that and then got into the truck and started off to work. I made it maybe 4 blocks when I started gagging uncontrollably. I knew I had to pull over, but this particular road is pretty busy and has no shoulder to speak of. I frantically rolled down the driver's side window and set my sites on the next available turn-off... The City of Madison Police Station. I made it into the driveway and proceeded to loose my cookies everywhere making a fantastic splash.
But, I knew I wasn't done. There was more to come. I looked frantically for a place to park the truck. The only empty space I could see was labeled with a huge red sign "Police Vehicles Only". I parked there anyway with one of the worst parking jobs of my adult driving career. Then I decorated the Police Station's lawn for what seemed like hours. When I was pretty sure I was done, I took a walk of shame into the police station to clean myself up and get some paper towels to clean up the car. As I spent a few minutes in the bathroom I began to panic that they would ticket or tow my car.
I burst out of the bathroom and flung myself towards the front desk. I felt like a total dingus explaining that I was pregnant (even though I don't look like it), had just vomited on their lawn and driveway, was illegally parked, and wanted to make sure I wouldn't get in trouble; I just needed a few minutes to get myself together. The woman was really nice and told me to take my time and got me a bottle of water too. I spent about 5 minutes there calming down and then wiping down the car... Yeah, I didn't get it all out the window. Awesome, huh?
I am at work now and have just noticed that I definitely have vomit on my shirt. I guess that is the way it is staying.
I feel like this could be an even better story if you replaced pregnant with hungover or drunk... but then the ending might not be as happy.