For the first time I

carethb

cried over a stupid wedding detail, and I feel like a douchepickle.

After the whole invitation debacle, I was really looking forward to having my FMIL's friend address the envelopes. All I heard was how beautiful her writing was, caligraphy-like and flawless. She had done all the family bar/bat mitzvah invitations, so I went blindly along and agreed to have her do our wedding invites, without seeing a sample of her work. We went and bought her a couple of lovely pens from Art Mart and took her the list on Friday.

Well, we picked up the envelopes yesterday.  They are truly hideous, the adress takes up literally all of the envelope except about a 1/2 inch dogleg on the left and top of the envelope. Some of the names are falling off the right side of the envelope. And I guess that maybe she put some of them back in the box before the ink was dry, because some of them are spotted.

I have no one to blame but myself, so that isn't what this is about. This is COMPLETELY my fault, and FI was just trying to make sure that everything came out perfect. It's too late, and would be too expensive to get all the envelopes reordered and do them myself, but I'm almost ashamed to send the ones we have out with our names on them. I know I'm a douchepickle.

I'm re doing the ones that are really bad, with the very few extras that we have.  All the invites are going out on Thursday, in the envelopes that we have.

I know I'm a jerk. I guess that, except for this post, I'm over it and am resigned to it being how it is. I apologized to FI for overreacting and making him feel bad, and assured him that this is in NO way his fault. I guess I just needed to vent.

Has any silly little detail sent you over the edge, even for just a minute?

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Oh honey - don't beat yourself up over this.  I know what it's like to want everything to be perfect but really, remember: invites always end up in the trash anyway.  I can barely remember any invitation I've received for a wedding.  What sticks with people most is your dress, your reception, and other details. 

I've gotten close to crying over a few things but I usually just try to tell myself that it doesn't matter.  There's no real use in crying over things if you don't have much control over them.

Stay focused on the most important thing - and that is that you are marrying your best friend  

ETA - I think douchepickle is my new favorite word...

carethb

I know it's a silly thing, and that's why I feel so douchepickly. I know it doesn't matter and that nothing in life is perfect. I'm just sorry that I made FI feel bad.

I'm glad that I could bring the dp love into your life, even just a little.

[Deleted User]

Aw, that sucks, but I agree that you shouldn't worry about invitiation envelopes. They always end up in the trash. As long as they get there, that's all that matters, right?

The only thing that upset me during planning was the guest list. To please my mother, I sent late invitations to 4 guests that are old family friends, but not people I'm close with, because she swore they wouldn't come, they just wanted an invite. Well, they responded "yes" anyway so suddenly I had to add 4 people (that I was paying for). I was upset over it and she got all pissy and said, 'Well if you didn't want this many people then you shouldn't have had a wedding at all!" to which I responded, "I didn't want to invite them, you guilted me into it." Then I got a lecture on how I should be a happier person more open to change and social events. So I told her that it's too bad only one of her kids ended up being happy-go-lucky and in love with social events (my brother), and sorry she got stuck with me.

It was the first time I ever hung up on my mother, who is my best friend. I totally overreacted but I was so tired of planning at that point it just came out. She ended up calling and apologizing and all was good again. And the bitch of it? Those 4 people didn't even show up.

carethb

I would have been pissed that they didn't show up afer ALL of that. I'm glad you and your mom worked everything out. Stress makes us snap at the people we love the most, and I'm glad it's getting closer to being over.

katiewhompus

I went bsc over catering. Our caterer came with the venue so we had no choice on who we wanted and little choice over the food options. We had a food tasting schedule for February 15th (wedding was May 1st) and it took Scott and I 3 months of begging, pleading and deal making to get that day off for the tasting. 7 days before the tasting we receive a call that they can't do the 15th because not enough couples signed up (excuse me?) and could we do the 14th instead?
Um no, see i'm working 3am until 10pm on the 14th to make up for me being off the 15th, and I can't change it that close to the date. We tell them no, "Oh ok, we'll just schedule you for our next one on April 28th (again, May 1st wedding)."

I sat down on the couch and just started sobbing, told Scott that I was done with all of this, done with planning and done with the wedding and I didn't want to deal with it anymore. Scott took it all in stride and got me calmed down. Told me people didn't need food to live anyways and we moved on.

I never tasted my food before the wedding, and it was ok. Definitely not great, but not bad either, just ok. I think our families spread the word about the catering fiasco so no one said anything about it and everyone says how much they loved the day.

[Deleted User]

At least you didn't die after getting a papercut from licking envelopes. That would truly suck.

shellydiane820

I love that you said "douchepickle"

Don't worry about it though.  My mom made the programs and I walked down the aisle to "Cannon in D."

carethb

I'm letting it go, I guess I just needed to see what a jerk I was being.

Katie- I don't even want to think about the tasting...

cew- that would be truly horrible, becasuse FI siad that he was going to lick all the envelopes, because he thought it was strange that I was using a little moistened sponge cause I HATE the taste!

Shelly- I'm happy to share my favorite words with the world. That was sweet of your Mom and I'm glad it didn't make the universe rain down frogs on your wedding.

katiewhompus

How fancy are the envelopes? Could you go pick up some pretty ones from a paper store and redo some of them to give yourself peace of mind?

2 words Cew - Cardboard Papercut - I thought I was going to die AND need stitches it bled so much

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_first-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:74caa14e-1d5d-42fa-b538-b98b0abbea82Post:42549772-afdc-4d4a-9ff2-76c6ead65b7a">Re: For the first time I</a>:
[QUOTE]I would have been pissed that they didn't show up afer ALL of that. I'm glad you and your mom worked everything out. Stress makes us snap at the people we love the most, and I'm glad it's getting closer to being over.
Posted by carethb[/QUOTE]

Oh yeah, I was pissed. But at the same time relieved, because I didn't have to find 4 extra chairs or favors or anything like that (or make small talk at the wedding with people I hardly know).

My mom and I have a great relationship and overall planning the wedding was a blast. But the whole "be happier" thing is our only issue, since she is very bubbly and friendly and I've always struggled with anxiety and depression (my brother is just like her, I am just like my dad, and she hates his personality). We just don't get each other when it comes to our views on socializing. So naturally, she wanted to invite everyone and the thought of so many people made my skin crawl.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_first-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:74caa14e-1d5d-42fa-b538-b98b0abbea82Post:a202fa34-48f6-4e8a-931d-bfea5aba6d67">Re: For the first time I</a>:
[QUOTE] 2 words Cew - Cardboard Papercut - I thought I was going to die AND need stitches it bled so much :(
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

Holy hell. That's insane.

katiewhompus

Hmmm your new name is apparently Jacki_sue..interesting...

carethb

katie- the envelopes aren't fancy and I'm sure that I could go find some replacements, but we're getting closer to budget every day, and I just decided that I'd deal with what I have.

Seshat411 -I'm glad you have a good relationship with your Mom, besides this one thing. I miss my Mom, she passed away in '06, and probably would have wanted to invite a ton of people too. I'm more like my Dad as well, especially in the way of just wanting the close people that matter to us there. I've had some of the same issues as you, so I know how hard it can be. 

carethb

OMG Cardboard papercut! That sounds super awful!

[Deleted User]

I'm sorry about your mom. I don't know what I'd do without mine.

And yeah, my dad and I are two peas in a pod personality-wise. But I'll do my best to be the opposite of him relationship-wise, as he's working on what will likely end up being marriage number 4.

kimheartsscott

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_first-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:74caa14e-1d5d-42fa-b538-b98b0abbea82Post:a202fa34-48f6-4e8a-931d-bfea5aba6d67">Re: For the first time I</a>:
[QUOTE]2 words Cew - Cardboard Papercut - I thought I was going to die AND need stitches it bled so much :(
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

I get those all the time at work  They are a BITCH.

carethb

My FI is a social butterfly, I'm not sure that we've ever gone anywhere we didn't run into someone that he knows. I have my moments though.

I miss my mom every day and wish she was here, but I've always been super close with my dad.  He tries to be interested in what's going on, but loves my FI and is happy to see me happy. He'll be 78 Wednesday, and I have to say I'm very happy that we're getting married this year so he will be there. It's something that I've always worried about, being the youngest of 7, that he might not be around when I finally decided to get married.  Vaguely interesting side note: my dad just performed his 90th wedding ceremony this weekend. (he's a baptist minister)

goheels05

I don't think you're a douchepickle!    I'd be upset too. 

carethb

Heels- thanks! That means a lot to me. I've gotten over it, everything will be the way it should be!

K Byte

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_first-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:74caa14e-1d5d-42fa-b538-b98b0abbea82Post:cef62f58-d3b8-4f7a-9d76-63f487da6010">Re: For the first time I</a>:
[QUOTE]I love that you said "douchepickle" Don't worry about it though.  My mom made the programs and I walked down the aisle to "Cannon in D."
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]
I laughed way too hard at this!

JoyTate1

The first time I cried, we had driven 3 hours to go to the cake tasting.  When we got there, there was a sign on the door saying they were closed due to a family emergency.  No phone call, no text message, not even an e-mail.  I had dragged FI with me and my Man of Honor to dallas from OKC for NOTHING.  They knew we were out of state too.  I bawled.  FI took me to Ikea and we bought new bedside tables, about a pound of chocolate and a small gift for my friend for wasting his time.

I never heard from those cake people again.  No e-mail, phone call, or text message to reschedule.  Not that I would have rescheduled, but come on!

Bubbalub

I think douchepickle is my new favorite word.

I totally feel for you. I'm going through similar stress stuff right now and FI and I find ourselves snapping at each other over stupid little stuff. We are learning to just take a deep breath, maybe walk away from what we are working on that is stressful, at least for a little bit. Once you have a moment for a little perspective the stuff you are snapping over seems less important.

Although if your invite addressing situation had happened to me I think I would have thrown a shitfit. We always imagine everything so perfect and things rarely live up to that standard. Hugs.

carethb

Bubb- thanks. I was a sullen teenager for a couple of hours yesterday, and then I decided to move on.

Joy- that sucks. I would have sent them a bill for my troubles, not actually expecting to have it paid, but just to make sure they felt bad.  O.k. I probably wouldn't have actually sent it, but I would have wanted to at least.

kpwedkk

Some of the art stores are having a sale, Michael's and JoAnn's - maybe you can get some envelopes from their clearance section, or the sales? and print out the labels for  addresses?

stephparks

the week before my wedding, the company i had contracted to do my cupcakes burnt down, than 4 days before the wedding my DJ cancelled.

luckily i was able to find new people at the last minute, but there was definitely a lot of tears. 

leayn

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