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Snarky Brides
Waiting Till Marriage.....
So I'm just curious.....on my month board there appears to be a lot (at least 10-12) brides who are virgins waiting to have sex till after the wedding. I thought that was quite a high number. To be honest I don't know anyone IRL who has "saved themselves" for marriage. Is this common in your area? Are you saving yourself? This whole thing on my month board caught my eye and made me think.
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Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....
EDIT: And I don't know anyone that has waited. I knew girls in high school that said they were, but that went out the window in college.
[QUOTE]I don't know anyone. I know people who married their first but they had sex before they got married.
Posted by saschaduran[/QUOTE]
See I don't think its as unusual to marry your first (though I'm certainly not) but I just don't know how you marry someone without knowing that you are sexual compatible. Sex isn't everything in a relationship but its certainly very important!
[QUOTE]Once heard this, the sex doesnt make the relationship work, the relationship makes the sex work.. My fiance and I kiss and stuff so we know the chemistry is there, but if marrying your first what would be different in your chemistry if you waited? but like i said it's just a natural order to me, so maybe thats why i see it differently
Posted by Michaela2290[/QUOTE]
Err I've had amazing sex with someone I had absolutely no relationship with and I've also had an amazing relationship with someone with whom the sex was just average. Granted I think being in love makes the sex better......but that isn't everything. Kissing chemistry to me does not equal the same thing as working well in bed together.
[QUOTE]I know one girl. They were together for 8 years before they got married- although they 'did' everything bar intercourse itself (including oral and using sex toys etc), <font color="#333399">so I never quite understood why God would be ok with a plastic diick but not ok with the real one.
</font>Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]
HA HA. So true....that is quite hypocritical and weird. Dildos are okay but real penis bad.....interesting.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting Till Marriage..... : Err I've had amazing sex with someone I had absolutely no relationship with and I've also had an amazing relationship with someone with whom the sex was just average. Granted I think being in love makes the sex better......but that isn't everything. <strong> Kissing chemistry to me does not equal the same thing as working well in bed together. </strong>
Posted by aprovencher21[/QUOTE]
I agree with this 100%
And kind of along the lines of what sun said, one of my brother's friends has done pretty much everything but actual sex with his girlfriend/fiancee (not sure what they are, really). In high school they were perfectly fine boasting about their latest sex toy and whatnot, but they said it was okay because it wasn't "real sex." At that point, just do it already. You're not fooling anyone.
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When I was a kid, my best friend's cousin got married to a girl he had not even kissed. I was like 8 and I knew that we one of the craziest things I had ever heard. I can get behind the waiting for sex thing, but waiting to even kiss? That just seems nuts. I'd love to know whether or not they are still married.
I say that in total honesty, im not joking around. That would suck.
I don't think it is specifically a regional thing but more of a social circle thing.
Fred Rogers
What irks the shiit out of me is the idiots who wear their virginity like a badge of courage and mention it all the time. No one's knighting you for your penis-free life. As a matter of fact, no one cares or even needs to know you're saving yourself for marriage unless it comes up in a conversation among close friends.
If you are waiting, you just need to be prepared for the unknown. To declare that bad sex won't affect your relationship is like saying it's just as easy to walk across the country as it is to fly. You can tough it out and complete the walk, but you're going to be exhausted, pissed off and have some serious blisters by the end of it all.
I didn't wait until marriage but I did wait until I was in love with someone. That someone just happens to be my H now.
One of my good friends was just in a wedding where the couple wouldn't kiss, hug, hold hands, ANYTHING before they were married. I don't know how they did that.
[QUOTE] and I would be very uncomfortable if I attended a wedding where the subject was mentioned about the B&G.
Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]
H and I were at a wedding over the summer that was laced with information about the couples sex life and waiting until marriage to do anything. It was really uncomfortable and the majority of the people there were looking around like "Wait, did the pastor really just say all that?" I agree that it's personal and unnecessary to announce during the wedding ceremony or anywhere else for that matter.
For some of the PPs questions about people who wait: No, we haven't done "everything under the sun but intercourse", because by then I feel the same way that we might as well just have sex. But we have also fooled around, just never naked. Sorry if that's TMI, but we've fooled around enough for me to know that I'm not marrying a guy with a toothpick down there, lol.
ETA: And FWIW, I don't have any friends who are waiting. My closest friends know our decision and respect it, but for us it wasn't a social circle or regional thing. My parents also didn't expect me to wait, they always encouraged safe sex, not abstinence.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting Till Marriage..... : Thanks for starting my day with a laugh. Awesome. <strong>FWIW, I can't imagine not touching/hugging/kissing FI until we're married. Honestly, as soon as we kissed, I was smitten.</strong> Corny but true. I could kiss FI for hours. Well, not really...cuz that would lead to other things. So no, we didn't wait.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]
Yes. You know how people describe there being "sparks". I literally felt like I had electricity running through me the first time I kissed FI. I couldn't imagine having to wait so long for that to happen.