Snarky Brides

Dear Universe - open letters

Dear TRT, please hire my coworker to work at your school. She needs someone to micromanager her and would be perfect for you. Please please please hire her so we can hire someone else. TYIA!

Dear Ward trucking, please look at my husband's resume. I know he's only been back at PSmart for a few months but they are trying to kill him. It would be very nice if he could get out of retail, work close to home, and make more money. He's a great forklift driver/warehouse operator. So thanks.

Dear car, please just let us pay for an inspection and that's it. I don't want to have to fix you more than we have this year. If you could keep the "car fix" bill down to $600 a year I would appreciate it.

Re: Dear Universe - open letters

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    Dear Canada,

    I wish you'd told me it cost $0.75 to send cards to you before I bought two sheets of $0.44 stamps. 


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    Dear Husband-why must you show me everything I do that is bad.  I know your trying to be helpful, but it is not fun.  Thanks. Love love.
    It's time. Adoption saving and process started in November 2012.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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    Dear Zigmat,

    I miss you.  I don't know why you left me or where you are in the Twisting Nether, but this "Pippep" who seems to be answering my summons is completely wrong for me. 

    And he complains about his contract.  A lot.

    Please come back to me,

    Sarielle (Celles' distraught alter-ego)
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    Dear Gym,

    Take it easy on me tonight.  It's been a week.

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    Dear Professors:
    Please stop requiring books that are over $100 used.  I really can't keep up with you, especially after not working all summer. 

    Dear FI:
    I'm glad you enjoyed your concert, even though it gave me a headache.  I'm also glad you appreciate that I went with you.  Please remember this the next time I am a bitch for no reason.  With work and classes starting back up, I have a feeling that will be soon.


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    All of my warlock pets suddenly and mysteriously name-changed.  I'm completely mystified as to how this could have happened, since I've had the same pets with the same names for four years.  Zigmat the imp became Pippep.  Hesva the succubus became Angeth.  And don't even get me started on Big Blue.  (Tangtast.  Seriously?  TANGTAST?!)


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    Dear USCIS,

    I'm paying a ton of money for this damn visa. Hurry up and get it to me, kthx.


    Dear Hospital,

    Please stop booking my appointments for first thing in the morning. It's a two and a half hour drive to you, and getting up at 5am, driving, and then waiting for another 2 hours for a 15 minute appointment re-he-heeeeally h-irritates me.

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    Dear Boss:
    Please tell me whether or not I got the raise. The suspense is driving me nuts.

    Dear H:
    While I love you, I don't love your smelly socks in front of the door. Pick them up before they end up in your lunchbox.

    Dear Fertility Gods,
    Please give Katie and jen their BFPs.
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    In Response to <a href="">Re: Dear Universe - open letters</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dear USCIS, I'm paying a ton of money for this damn visa. Hurry up and get it to me, kthx. -Steph
    Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]

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    Dear tooth,

    Seriously? Another cavity.  Screw you.

    ~soon-to-be bride that doesn't want to pay for another cavity

    Dear body,

    Thanks for surprising me with my TOM.... at the state fair yesterday.  That was fun.
    ~Girl on BC who's supposed to have control
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    Dear current job,
    Can you figure out if you are going to give me a promotion or not? I really have to make a decision to jump states or not.

    Sincerely, your loving employee.

    Dear gym,
    Motivate me to get there, and work out, and make sure my sneakers are in the car at all times.
    - need to work out before buying smaller clothes :P

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
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    Dear panic attacks,

    Please stop keeping me up until the wee hours of the morning, making me cry, and giving me the worst wedding nightmares I've had so far.

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    Dear day off,

    You were much too short. I will see you again next Monday though. Maybe you can help me get Mike a sweet 26th birthday present.

    until we meet again,


    Dear dogs,

    Is is a full moon? You never bark like this and now the guy next door mows his lawn and you have to bark the entire time? Bad dogs!

    Your angry mom,
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    In Response to <a href="">Re: Dear Universe - open letters</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dear panic attacks, Please stop keeping me up until the wee hours of the morning, making me cry, and giving me the worst wedding nightmares I've had so far. kthanxbye
    Posted by JaclynMarie11[/QUOTE]

    oh no! Sorry to hear this Jaclyn :( I get anxiety attacks sometimes too and they really suck.
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    Thanks Meaghan! I haven't had one in over a year, and I've had at least too this past month. :( hopefully they'll go away after the wedding is over!
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    Dear algebra homework

    I freaking hate you. Please do yourself. Thats all.

    Dear Illinois,
    Can it please be fall already? I'm sick of the heat and humidity.

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    Dear Kitchen,

    It would be awesome if you would just restock yourself.  FI gets paid on Friday, and then we'll do some crazy grocery shopping, but I really don't want to piece strange things together for dinner or make a McD's run tonight. 

    Dear junior high students,

    Please don't run me out of the school for making you sing tomorrow. It'll be fun, I promise.  Just humor your poor general music teacher who has never taught 6, 7, 8th grade music while she tries to figure out what the heck to do with you. 

    Sincere thanks,
    Miss K
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    Dear Sarabear23,
    Do you need help on your algebra homework?  If so, I can help :)

    <3 Mrs K

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
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    Dear Perogies I just made for dinner,

    Be less delicious. You are fattening, and I am trying to diet. At least I managed to cut the amount of you in half today. You are so damn good, it's like an awesome ship just crashed into the yummy-shore in my mouth.

    Your loving devotee,
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    Dear Body,

    Please don't fall apart on me yet. I know I enjoy being tossed around and thrown upside down way too much than a person my age should, but c'mon.  The orthopedist is already laughing at me.

    Dear Fate/Universe/Karma,

    Thanks for having my path cross with J's 3 years ago. It was pretty random, and I don't think I would've found someone this cool and level headed (and who can bring me back to the ground when I lose my head) 98% of the time where I was living before. Now, if I could just get him to ride rides that will flip you upside down just to flip you upside down.... :)
    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
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    pirategal03pirategal03 member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited August 2010
    Dear FFIL,

    I know you're staying here with us while you recover from surgery, but please.stop.talking.  My ears are full.

    <3 Pirate

    Dear Audit,

    No more findings.

    <3 Pirate

    Dear Apartment Complex Manager,

    Be expecting a phone call from me or FI tomorrow about your thuper-duper employee who yelled "hurry! lock it! lock it! someone's coming!" as I walked down to the office to pick up my package this afternoon.

    No love, Pirate
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    Dear Howie Bean,

    You are the best dog in the whole world and I love you but when you jump all over the blinds on the backdoor and rip them to shreds just because I took the trash out and didn't take you with me, it makes me not like you very much.

    Love, Your Mommy

    Dear Future Employer,

    Please find me soon. I need a job.

    Thank you, A Very Hard & Desperate Worker
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    Dear Weekend, please go accordingly - we have many things to accomplish together.
     super excited- B
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    Aw Sesh :) You make me smile.

    Wohoo, car came out with just an inspection :) Good car.
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    Dear FI's house:

    Please stop being a breeding ground for 8 million tiny baby spiders. I know that they will one day become big scary grown-up spiders, and that would make me very unhappy.

    Wuppikins loves you!

    "Hater-ade is full of disrespectrolytes" - Mehg
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    Dear Sister,

    I am 26 not 16, please don't treat me like a child. You are 37 not 17, please tell me when you have something on your mind and don't think I read minds. I do not have that magic power that I can read your mind when something is bugging you! Seriously, is it that bad of me to want to not get heated out of the small HOT room by lights that could give me sunburn? So, instead I sit in the dinning room at the table to do my homework. I help out as much as I can. You invited me into your house, I never once asked, I always  asked to make sure it was ok for me not to be a burden on you and your family. You knew what was going to happen and not going to happen. Please just tell me stuff, I can not read your mind and it's very stressful for me to not know if I'm doing something wrong. I try my damnest to respect you, your thoughts, and opinions and your ways when a lot of these things are completely opposite of my own. The last thing I want to do is walk on toes.

    Love your baby sister who is no longer a baby!


    Dear Doctors,

    Please give me more then 1 option about my back.  Or explain every aspect of surgery. I am very scared that the only option right now is surgery. I would really not like to be drugged up but I know there are more out there that I haven't been able to try.

    Your patient,


    Dear refund,

    Please come very soon! I really could use you asap.  
    the student,
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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