My shower and bachelorette party were this past Saturday. FMIL threw the shower for me at her home, and it was lovely. FMIL's house is always a mess, and she is a constant ball of stress and chaos, so of course, she spent weeks getting her house ready for the shower. Also, my bachelorette party was just a few miles from her house, so she had three bedrooms cleaned up for me, my BFF, and my mother (both from out of town) to stay the night after planning to get sloppy drunk.
On to the bachelorette party. FMIL gets stupid drunk, as she tends to do. My mom was somewhat irritated at this, and I was as well because I felt that I needed to babysit her at my own bachelorette party, where I should have been the one who needed babysitting. At the end of the bachelorette party, as we're settling the tab (which was pre-set weeks ago with a package deal), drunken FMIL is haggling with the staff, confused at who paid and who didn't, and this was irritating my mother because she offered weeks ago to just pay for the party, but FMIL would have none of it. This went on for about 10 minutes, with all of us standing there, having our buzzes killed.
When we get back to FMIL's house, my mom decides she wants to drive back to my apartment about 30 miles away, instead of staying at FMIL's house. (My mom bolts when she is in an uncomfortable or unpleasant situation, and again, my mom told FMIL from the beginning that she didn't want to stay at her house, but FMIL insisted.) When FMIL heard that we were going back to the city because my mom didn't want to stay, FMIL got furious. She was lauging like a maniac, she shouted about how much time she spent getting her house ready, she grabbed my sister's face when trying to explain how much work she put into this, and she just completely flew off the handle. I thanked her profusely for throwing me such a lovely shower and for spending so much time preparing her home for us, but she made me feel awful. On the drive back to the city with my mom, I told my mom that she ruined my day because she's a "critical bitc*" and refusing to stay at FMIL's house. Later that night, after talking with my sis and BFF, I apologized to my mother but told her that I thought that both she and FMIL were being selfish.
Apparently, while we were driving back to the city, FMIL called FI and was very upset and sobbing, and she's still upset. Now my family thinks FMIL is even crazier than they thought she was before, and FMIL thinks my mom is a bigger bitc* than she did before. My mom knows that I think they were both in the wrong, but I haven't talked to FMIL. We're going to her house tomorrow for FBIL's birthday. I know this shouldn't interfere with FBIL's birthday celebration, but I know FMIL is going to want to talk about it.
I've decided I have to be open and honest with her, without being too harsh. I've always been very kind and gentle with her and rarely call her out for her craziness, but she went waaaay too far this time. Thanks for listening.
CN - FMIL got wasted at my bachelorette party, which irritated my mother, who then didn't want to stay at FMIL's house, after FMIL spent days cleaning and preparing her house for us to stay. FMIL got REALLY upset and went insane about it.
