Hi girls, I apologize for the ranty nature of this post, but it's hard for me to say it out loud without even ME thinking I'm a bitch. My rage stems from a snarky post on my facebook status by my FMIL and I just need to get this out. Anyways, here goes.
My fiance and I have been together for over 9 years, marrying next summer. We are junior high sweethearts and I grew up with his parents and family basically as my own. They treat me great in terms of helping us out when needed. However, my mother in law to be seems to think that she doesn't have to hold back on saying ANYTHING to me. She is EXTREMELY patronizing to her kids, For instance, she calls us when there is a storm and tells us not to drive anywhere- were 24. She talks down to me like I am some idiot and I'm always the butt of her jokes, which my future sister in law does a lot as well. Not to sound like an uppity bitch, but the woman is so....simple in every way that I am just tormented when she tells me what I "need" to do. She cares more about American Idol and X Factor or any other lame primetime show than politics, history, science, and other current events, and education, all things which I really enjoy. She finished high school in a rural area and worked various jobs in retail her entire life and would be off work staying home with the kids, so I have a really different worldview than her. She likes to give a snarky "HUH" grunt/laugh followed by an eye roll and "geeze" when I say anything different than what she read in the tabloids. Basically, I find her type really off-putting. Over involved mom with too much time on her hands who wastes her life on TV shows, shopping for the latest useless product (tide stain release ball or whatever, ugh!) and never did anything to better herself/be independent or anything but my father in law’s wife. Shall we say a very 1950’s view. She still calls black people “colored”, now that’s another issue
It’s even worse with the wedding coming. I want all black linens, runners, and chair covers, “Oh you don’t want black, it’s too dark". Yes, I freaking do. I wan't a birdcage for my cards "UGH, I hate that it's so ugly". Like I care, it goes with my theme. My bridesmaid dresses are $270 "You can't make people pay that much that's ridiculous". Well I discussed it with all the maids, they agreed it was no issue even though I was worried it would be a huge burden. I wanted champagne, gelato and berries as a dessert "Not everyone likes champagne you know" (because she doesn't drink). "You're getting a white dress aren't you"? Nope, I'm getting ivory because it suits my skin tone. "What in the world do you need feathers for?" um, feathers are awesome, and again, it goes with my theme. I could go ON.
She's been pushing me to have a sit down with my parents to discuss money but I don't see why, we already decided that it's split 4 ways between my mom, dad, me and my fiancé, and my fiancés parents at about $15000 budget. I already saved our ¼ portion and I plan on contributing more. She is afraid my parents aren't going to chip in and are going to "make" them end up paying for the wedding. She is constantly saying things about how the brides family should pay for more but its 2011, and the COUPLE should actually pay for most things and not expect money from anyone. So I don't know why anything needs to be discussed, not only that, but my parents hate her (love the dad) and the last thing they want to do is discuss money with a judgmental bitch like her. There, I said it. She once told my step mother that I was "lucky to have her around, because I never had a REAL mom anyways". I needed to put that in there in for context and why I feel so negative towards her.
This all sounds menial but people who know me understand that no one could tell me anything so when someone tries to tell me how to live my life, plan my wedding, run my household, finances, and my relationship, it makes my blood boil.
Am I insane?