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So, it's happening (sad post)

My dad just called and my grandma is dying. They don't think she'll make it through tomorrow. One of her lungs filled with fluid yesterday and the other one is filling up right now.

I'm really sad. I've had several deaths in my family, most in the last 3 years of all my grandparents' siblings, but I am pretty close to my grandma, closer than I was to anyone else in my life that has passed away. I know that we've been expecting it for a while, that her health has deteriorated in the past couple years, but it still hurts.

We got a chance to see her a couple weeks ago. She was lucid and in good spirits, she told us stories of her childhood in New York in the winter. She got to talk to my H for a bit and told my mom that she adores him. My sister and I got a chance to hug and kiss her and say goodbye. But it never seems like enough, you know?

Anyway, I just needed to get some of this out. I'm staying at work for now because there is no point going home to an empty house to cry. At work at least I can distract myself a bit. I'll probably leave early, though.

Now I'm rambling. Sorry.
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Re: So, it's happening (sad post)

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    Hugs to you.

    Write down those stories, you'll appreciate it later. 
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    Aww Hugs I am so sorry :(
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    I'm sorry to hear that Bubba, but I'm glad you got to spend some time with her while she was lucid. That is precious time that just can't be replaced. I bet that meant the world to her. HUGS
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    I am so glad you got to see her recently and that she adores your new H.  Very sorry to hear this, Bubs :( I lost my grandfather earlier this year - the very first of any of my grandparents to pass away.  I know how hard this must be for you.  And although there's never a convenient time to lose a loved one, it seems like it just sucks so much more when it happens around the holidays.

    I wouldn't blame you if you left to cry.  I wish I would have when I heard about my grandfather.

    She will always remain precious to you in your heart and always remember all the great memories and love you have for her!  *hugs* and T&P for you and your family during this sad time.
    panther
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    aww Hugs, how hard. T&P's to you and your family. 
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    Awww, so sorry Bubba.  Hugs.
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    Aww hon I'm so sorry.  *Hugs*
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    Hugs. I'm so sorry to hear about this, Bubbs. Even when you see the person beforehand, it never makes their death easier. I was the same way with my grandma- her, my mom and I did everything together, and her death was the hardest thing. Just remember the good times. :)
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    I'm really sorry to hear that. But I'm glad you got to see her recently, those are great memories to hold onto.

    Lots of e-hugs to you.
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    I'm sorry to hear about this.  I was also very close to my grandma so I can imagine what you are going through right now.  My thoughts are with you, your grandma and the rest of your family. 
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    Hugs to you, Bubba.  I'm so sorry.
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    Bub, I'm so sorry.  Even when it's not shocking, it's still devastating.  ((hugs))
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    Thanks evs. It means a lot to me.

    I have some of her stories recorded on cassette tape, in her own words. She and her sister were the family historians and now that task will fall to me, as she intended. A few years ago we went through all her family pictures and labeled them since she was the only one who could remember who everyone was.

    I'm worried about my Grandpa. I know his biggest fear was that he would pass away before her and then she would be alone, but I don't suppose that her passing away first is much comfort to him right now.
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    Bubbs - when my grandpa passed it was (and of course, still is) very hard for my grandma.  However a couple weeks before our wedding (which was on what would have been my grandparent's 56th anniversary), a bunch of us family met at a local bar and we were visiting.  She told me that lately she'd been re-reading all of my grandpa's old love letters, and that they were very comforting to her.  She also laughed that even though she was so glad she kept them all these years, she wasn't sure if she should save them for her kids because "they're so steamy!"

    She also told me the story about how they met, and their engagement and wedding.  They met in April and were married in November!  And they were in love all those years. 

    I guess the reason I'm sharing this is because even though it of course will be hard for all of you, and your grandpa especially - it does get better.  Especially when you have things like letters, or recordings and pictures, to remember lost loved ones fondly with.  As long as you continue to remember your grandmother and everything she was about, she's never going to be really gone.  It will be hard.  But it will be okay.

    shiit now i'm fucking crying :( bah
    panther
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    I think he will.  It will be hard right away but I really think he'll be able to keep busy, and I think a dog is such a great idea!

    So much of my grandma's time was filled with caring for my grandpa.  He declined very slowly and for a very long time, so she spent quite a few years taking care of him and I was worried that she just wouldn't know what to do with herself.

    My cousin told me at the funeral that she hoped my grandma would travel and get back into her hobbies again because she'd have all this free time.  It felt kinda weird to talk about - like it was saying, "Oh, now that she doesn't have to take care of Gramps, she can actually have a life."  But really though - she stays busy.  She sees friends a lot, she is really involved at her church, she seems like she is so much more involved with organizing family things than she was able to before.  I even got an email from her this morning about Christmas! 

    And we all do our part to help her in small ways.  My married sister lives a couple blocks from her right now and she will bring her over some food once in a while.  This past summer when all my sisters were home they'd go over once a week for a "grandma supper."  We all take turns calling her or sending emails just to make sure she knows we love her and that she's not alone.  Just little things. 
    panther
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    So sorry to hear about this.  T&P to you and your family.
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    That's so sad. I'm really sorry. Hugs to you
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    I'm very sorry to hear this. I'm sending thoughts and prayers your way.
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    I sorry bubbs. ((hugs))
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    I'm so sorry Bubba. Sending thoughts and hugs your way. Even expected, it's still jarring and tough. Celebrate the life she had, though. Remember that. It's what she would want, I would bet.
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    I'm so sorry Bub. I hope you feel very, very blessed that you got to spend some time with her before she passes. And I agree that you should write down the stories she told you, you'll be happy to have them later. T&P for you and your family!
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    Hugs, Bubs. I'm so sorry.
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    Bubbs, I am so very sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you and your family. *hugs*



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    msteph82msteph82 member
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    edited December 2010
    I'm sitting here, crying, because this is one of those things that just squeezes your heart until it hurts.  I recently went through the same siuation with my dad passing (he had brain cancer) and even though you know the end is near, it just SUCKS. 

    CRY.  I was stoic through most of his illness and even through his funeral.  I had a lot of family who I felt was relying on me to be strong for them.  LET IT OUT.  If you are sad, cry your eyes out.  It's healthy, whether you're alone or with someon else.

    What a blessing it is that you have her voice on tape, in addition to having those stories.  And that she was able to talk to you your husband and just adores him. 

    My thoughts and prayers go out to you.  Your grandmother sounds like a very blessed woman!
    ~ Missie

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