Snarky Brides

Unpopular Opinions

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Re: Unpopular Opinions

  • Lots of people want to compare breast feeding to times when excrement is freely flowing from your body onto the floor in public - pooing, peeing, removing a tampon at the grocery checkout. Is there some epidemic of nursing mothers squeezing their boobs like udders while their children wait with open mouths a few feet away? Most of the nursing I've seen, public or not, isn't really messy. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:24e6bd46-605f-4c8d-be00-a270003e1e31">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]H and i looked into adoption but wouldn't qualify as "fit parents' due to our <strong>age difference</strong>, work status (most VA agencies require a stay at home parents at least one year ) and <strong>because we are an inter-racial couple</strong> (gasp!) I would love a nursing room. Very few businesses have them. It also goes along with what Dot/Nebb are saying. If a human needs to pee there is an appropriate place to do it. If there were a sanitary and safe place to nurse my infant (who can't just wait another 30 minutes for when it's more appropriate) I would gladly use it. No bathrooms are not such a place.
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    Um... what? Are you kidding me?  So basically they want this perfect 50's family with dad who works, mom who stays home and a white picket fence?

    How far apart are you, i fyou don't mind me asking?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:a50d22b7-fa50-4071-9c1e-ab6b61c3f5a8">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE] And based on this thread, this is an unpop op:  I hate when skinny people get indignant about the "love your curves" crap.  
    Posted by Smash Adams[/QUOTE]

    So being skinny means it's not offensive to be told that you should gain weight and love your curves so you don't look so unappealing? I don't care how much you weigh, that shiit hurts.
  • Oh ffs you guys are focusing on the poop comparison too literally. I was just trying to compare natural body functions that can or do make people uncomfortable. That clearly didnt come across.
  • In some shopping centre around here there are "family rooms" they are nice sitting rooms with comfortable chairs and a quiet calm area to bf ect.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:24e6bd46-605f-4c8d-be00-a270003e1e31">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>H and i looked into adoption but wouldn't qualify as "fit parents' due to our age difference, work status (most VA agencies require a stay at home parents at least one year ) and because we are an inter-racial couple (gasp!) </strong>I would love a nursing room. Very few businesses have them. It also goes along with what Dot/Nebb are saying. If a human needs to pee there is an appropriate place to do it. If there were a sanitary and safe place to nurse my infant (who can't just wait another 30 minutes for when it's more appropriate) I would gladly use it. No bathrooms are not such a place.
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    <div>That is ridiculous. It makes me sad to think how many children aren't getting out of the foster care system and into loving homes because of that BS :(</div>
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:a50d22b7-fa50-4071-9c1e-ab6b61c3f5a8">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sarah & J&K are giving me metaphorical boners in here. I consider myself pro-abortion (I'm pretty sure I've said this before). I am all about NIP (though I'm not certain that if I had any kids, I'd breastfeed em) <strong>And based on this thread, this is an unpop op:  I hate when skinny people get indignant about the "love your curves" crap. </strong> 
    Posted by Smash Adams[/QUOTE]


    I kind of get annoyed when people complain or comment about bodies in general.  FFS, the grass is always greener on the other side?  I have a friend who always makes comments about "well you're in such good shape anyway" which always offends me, and my mom will make comments about how I could lose a few pounds.  Really, to both of them, fuckoff.  I don't know why people get so obsessed over body shape or why anyone thinks its any of their business to comment on or talk about my body to my face, and I sure as hell am not going to get huffy about whether women are curvy or thin.  It doesn't fucking matter for shiit's sake.
    panther
  • I don't think I would be comfortable breast feeding in public without being covered.  I just feel like it's a more intimate moment than that, but that could be just because I haven't been there so I don't really know the constraints.  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:72a5a444-5dd9-4d9d-9883-c7e840bfbb00">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Lets say you and I go out to dinner with the baby there. Would you prefer that I sit and nurse discretely with you, while we continue our meal and conversation, or that I leave you alone for a half hour so I can nurse (which means my meal is ruined, and you eat alone)?
    Posted by allisong23[/QUOTE]

    You would voluntarily leave me to eat alone. I am strangely fascinated by how BFing works and would be asking inappropriate questions the entire time.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:ad317585-a87c-419e-ac2a-df7b37cefed8">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I've heard that too but I've also heard that it can be equally expensive if you're adopting a child from China and have to travel there. I think eventually I would like to be foster parents, but we'll see.
    Posted by ErinG93[/QUOTE]

    <div>But why do you need to go to China? There are plenty of kids here who need a home. I'm not bashing international adoptions, but I fail to see why, when someone is so eager to have a child they'll fly halfway around the world, they want nothing to do with the Latino toddler in foster care in their own state.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:8218b155-99db-4759-b9b7-8bd11b0cd97a">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : We may be arguing the same thing here.  Anyone who is purposely trying to check out your boobs while you nurse is a freaking freak.  I'm all for special shirts, a blanket to cover or whatever.  I just don't want to be forced to see it going on because I'm at a dinner table with you and you refuse to be discreet is what I am saying. 
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

    I think the bigger difference here is people's definition of "discreet".  To you, it's covering up or giong to another room.  To others, it's sitting somewhere that's not in the middle of the room, or barely showing nip, if at all.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:aaaba00f-79e4-48da-bc6c-c9f8febc60e1">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : So being skinny means it's not offensive to be told that you should gain weight and love your curves so you don't look so unappealing? I don't care how much you weigh, <strong>that shiit hurts.</strong>
    Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes. I was told (as a freshman in HS) that I needed to gain 15 pounds to *hand motion to show curves* fill out better, by a senior on the track team.  It stung, I never gained the 15 pounds, never really "filled out" and it sucks to hear.  Granted I hadn't really hit puberty yet, so that made it worse but WTF? Who says that.  It still upsets me thinking about that.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:aa25e7f1-5093-4b61-af03-4a367ad854d5">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Um... what? Are you kidding me?  So basically they want this perfect 50's family with dad who works, mom who stays home and a white picket fence? How far apart are you, i fyou don't mind me asking?
    Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

    Pretty much. I'm 28 and he's 38.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:9be748b3-847c-46cc-aaff-12a8d20701d7">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Pretty much. I'm 28 and he's 38.
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    They think 10 years is too big of an age gap?  The only way I see the age gap (or age in general) being an issue is if the cuople that wants to adopt will be 70 years or older by the time the kid is 18.
  • I don't think it's really fair to have such vehement opinions opposing breast feeding in public if you don't breastfeed and you don't know what it's like to have a screaming baby in your lap wanting you to feed him right this fucking minute.  I hope I can breastfeed my children, and I am pretty sure I will have much better ways of defending it once I've had to do it in public.

    You guys ever been on an airplane when a mom changes a kid's diaper right there, on the seat?  Yeah, it's not pretty, but there is no room for a changing table in an airport lavatory.  So, it's either deal with a screaming, shitty baby for the entire duration of the flight or be subject to a diaper change for a couple of minutes.  I would implore that mother to change the diaper right there, go for it.  And hell if he's hungry - feed him.
    panther
  • allisong23allisong23 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:8218b155-99db-4759-b9b7-8bd11b0cd97a">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : We may be arguing the same thing here.  Anyone who is purposely trying to check out your boobs while you nurse is a freaking freak.  I'm all for special shirts, a blanket to cover or whatever.  I just don't want to be forced to see it going on because I'm at a dinner table with you and you refuse to be discreet is what I am saying. 
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

    I would guess that 99% of women are discreet. You may not even notice that they are doing it. People make a big stink out of the 1% who are not discrete, but they are the exception, not the norm.

    And trust me, I am discreet.I don't want people to see my boobs anymore than you don't want to see them.
    image
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:4f8e7020-bd1d-498b-8a99-e19af4a4c110">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I think the bigger difference here is people's definition of "discreet".  To you, it's covering up or giong to another room.  To others, it's sitting somewhere that's not in the middle of the room, or barely showing nip, if at all.
    Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

    This is a good point. I will nurse in front of people who are comfortable being around me while I do so (H, my family, a few mom friends). If I know someone is not comfortable (such as mil) I will go to another room or attempt to use a cover, at least for the latching. If we're in public I'll find a less obvious position/placement such as a corner booth, low traffic section of store, etc.
  • LP11509LP11509 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:aaaba00f-79e4-48da-bc6c-c9f8febc60e1">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : So being skinny means it's not offensive to be told that you should gain weight and love your curves so you don't look so unappealing? I don't care how much you weigh, that shiit hurts.
    Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yep.  When I was in middle school, I was really really skinny.  My 6th grade teacher used to force me to write on the board what I had eaten for breakfast every morning because he thought I was anorexic.  But rather than address the issue with me privately or with my parents, he humiliated me in front of my peers.  Of course, this was the same asshat teacher who made fun of my hearing loss/FM system, so there's that. </div><div>
    </div><div>ETA: This was years before I actually did develop an EO, too.  I was just naturally skinny back then. </div>
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:e357d56d-4b11-4500-84d8-468361532c63">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : But why do you need to go to China? There are plenty of kids here who need a home. I'm not bashing international adoptions, but I fail to see why, when someone is so eager to have a child they'll fly halfway around the world, they want nothing to do with the Latino toddler in foster care in their own state.
    Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Oh no, I get what you're saying and completely agree. My OP was just commenting on how sad it is that adoption is usually so expensive. I don't understand how people can prefer a race for their adoptive child, what BS.

    </div>
  • I agree that no one should be personally told by strangers or loved ones to change their looks either way.

    I do not however understand how anyone could be offended by an overall mantra of "love your curves." Particularly when the majority of depictions of socially accepted beauty tell you to love being thin. How does it hurt you to see acceptance of the other side of the coin? 
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  • I think if the US is going to remain pro-choice the laws need to be changed so that men have the same option. If women can decide that they aren't ready or able to care for a child and wants an abortion, men who feel they aren't ready for parenting should be able to sign away their rights and be released of all financial responsibility, no questions asked. 
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    [QUOTE]I think if the US is going to remain pro-choice  the laws need to be changed so that men have the same option. If women can decide that they aren't ready or able to care for a child and wants an abortion, men who feel they aren't ready for parenting should be able to sign away their rights and be released of all financial responsibility, no questions asked. 
    Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this completely. I've said it before, but it never comes out correctly.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:199aa112-8b02-4615-b01b-40570a3a89c9">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think if the US is going to remain pro-choice  the laws need to be changed so that men have the same option. If women can decide that they aren't ready or able to care for a child and wants an abortion, men who feel they aren't ready for parenting should be able to sign away their rights and be released of all financial responsibility, no questions asked. 
    Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

    Isn;'t that already an option?  Or does the mom have to okay it first?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:d71a39bc-a782-463c-9a38-ade67526edd3">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Yep.  When I was in middle school, I was really really skinny.  My 6th grade teacher used to force me to write on the board what I had eaten for breakfast every morning because he thought I was anorexic.  But rather than address the issue with me privately or with my parents, he humiliated me in front of my peers.  Of course, this was the same asshat teacher who made fun of my hearing loss/FM system, so there's that.  ETA: This was years before I actually did develop an EO, too.  I was just naturally skinny back then. 
    Posted by LP11509[/QUOTE]

    Wow, that is awful! What an ass. I had a problem with my stomach (stopping being hungry, and would get full really easily), and I had to see 3 different doctors before one would accept that I wasn't anorexic, that this was a physical, not a psychological issue I was dealing with.

    As far as the BF issue, it's a modesty thing for me. I've been in locker rooms with naked women, so with BFing it's not like 'OMG I can see her BOOB!!' It's just about modesty to me, and it sounds like you on this board do it modestly, which I don't have as much issue with.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:5cc70679-09f0-4cb8-b5d1-390e9bbd1834">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Isn;'t that already an option?  Or does the mom have to okay it first?
    Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]
    I'm not sure about everywhere, I think it depends on the state. I do know that some places the mom has to agree to it.
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  • Holy crap, LP. I would have refused to do that. Did he ever get reprimanded for any of that?

    Dmiller, I agree. H and I were just talking about that yesterday. Oddly enough, he said that it's the woman's body so ultimately it's her choice and the guy has to pay whether he wants it or not. I said the guy should have the right to sign over his parental rights and walk away (I figured he would agree with me).
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:5cc70679-09f0-4cb8-b5d1-390e9bbd1834">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Isn;'t that already an option?  Or does the mom have to okay it first?
    Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

    No. If two people have sex, mom has full control.  She can terminate the pregnancy (even if dad wants to raise the kid by himself, lets say) or she can carry to term and sue the dad for child support.  To the point that it's withheld from his paychecks if he doesn't pay.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:41687a35-cc41-44d6-9777-4969791cbf61">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I'm not sure about everywhere, I think it depends on the state. I do know that some places the mom has to agree to it.
    Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

    I'm pretty sure the mom has to agree.  And usually it comes up in the case of the mom getting remarried and new SO wanting to legally adopt the kid. (That's what happened with my step brother at least.)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:a0c1ab74-40e2-4ac9-acaf-37302f79bf12">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : No. If two people have sex, mom has full control.  She can terminate the pregnancy (even if dad wants to raise the kid by himself, lets say) or she can carry to term and sue the dad for child support.  To the point that it's withheld from his paychecks if he doesn't pay.
    Posted by Steph+J[/QUOTE]
    and in Ohio, men lose their drivers license if they get behind. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:a0c1ab74-40e2-4ac9-acaf-37302f79bf12">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : No. If two people have sex, mom has full control.  She can terminate the pregnancy (even if dad wants to raise the kid by himself, lets say) or she can carry to term and sue the dad for child support.  To the point that it's withheld from his paychecks if he doesn't pay.
    Posted by Steph+J[/QUOTE]

    I think that is absolute crap.  Don't get me wrong, I'm pro-life and I find abortion to be wrong regardless.  But if this country is going to give the woman a choice, the man should get one too. That's BS otherwise because it's not just the woman's choice to have sex.  In most cases, it takes two to tango.
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