A couple questions

tayylor65

Our wedding is turning out to be very formal--black tailed tuxes, floor length BMs dresses, seated dinner, live jazz band, ceremony at 6PM etc.  Our invitations are heavy off-white colored paper with a gold trim and black, engraved writing.  Two questions:

1.  RSVP card.  Traditionally I'm used to the RSVP card being completely blank (but matching stationary) where the guest writes in their response.  Basically writing back word for word what the invitation states, substituting whether they'll be in attendance or not.  It seems this is rarely used anymore--if we did it this way do you think no one would RSVP because they don't know how to (or laziness)?

2.  With the formality of the wedding/invitations, would it be in poor taste to include written directions to the venue?  It's not a complicated place to find if you plug the address into mapquest or GPS but I don't want to appear dense to the guests who aren't familiar with the area.

3.  I've reserved a block of rooms at a nice, nearby hotel.  I'm planning on just spreading the information by word of mouth.  Will that be enough?  I wrote down all of the important information to give to FMIL, FSIL, and my grandmother so they can have it on hand for their friends.  There are plenty of other hotels around too though in case they're late in calling the hotel or don't get the info from anyone.

reils

1. I have never seen a blank reply card before so I wouldn't know what to do. I would probably just end up calling/emailig you to reply. 

2. Due to the formality of your wedding I wouldn't include directions. People will find your venue. I have been to OOT weddings before that didn't have directions and I never really thought twice about it and I have always figured out where to go. 

3. If you didn't include hotel info in the invitation I would assume that you didn't book a block of rooms and would find a hotel on my own. 

achiduck

1) I have never seen that type of RSVP card and wouldn't know what to do with it. I'd probably end up writing "FI and I will be there."

2) Since your wedding will be formal, I think you should do a map card in the same stationery.

3) Same as above - since your wedding is formal you should have an accomodations card. You could probably combine the accomodations and directions on the same card.

OBX2011

Agree with PP's.

Go down a few posts and you will see my thread "AW: Starfish Invitations" and I included pics so you can see that I included the already filled out RSVP, separate menu card, accommodation info card and directions.

I didn't pull each card out and take a pic of each one but if you would like to see what they look like, PM me and I will send the pics of each one. 

Hope this helps!

K&J64

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_couple-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9c52af8b-ccc0-4cb2-a5b1-65762800064cPost:4d716b77-96e6-4da0-8f2a-72dcaffa06dd">Re: A couple questions</a>:
[QUOTE]1) I have never seen that type of RSVP card and wouldn't know what to do with it. I'd probably end up writing "FI and I will be there." 2) Since your wedding will be formal, I think you should do a map card in the same stationery. 3) Same as above - since your wedding is formal you should have an accomodations card. You could probably combine the accomodations and directions on the same card.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

This. The RSVP should at at least state:

"RSVP

M_____________________

_ Joyfully Accepts             _ Regretfully Declines"

Or some variation there of with the responses. I think a drawn map card is very nice on the same stationary as well as the accommodation information.

tayylor65

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_couple-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9c52af8b-ccc0-4cb2-a5b1-65762800064cPost:fb9367f9-341e-4b3e-baa2-2a8162a0e127">Re: A couple questions</a>:
[QUOTE]Agree with PP's. Go down a few posts and you will see my thread "AW: Starfish Invitations" and I included pics so you can see that I included the already filled out RSVP, separate menu card, accommodation info card and directions. I didn't pull each card out and take a pic of each one but if you would like to see what they look like, PM me and I will send the pics of each one.  Hope this helps!
Posted by OBX2011[/QUOTE]

<div>I love how you did them each separately, they still look formal and nice!  We aren't having a pocket invitation but I guess I could just include separate cards.  Does your reception card just say where it will be held and the rsvp card includes the meal choices to pick from?  Or do you have meal choices on the reception card so they mail back "Reception" and "RSVP"? </div><div>
</div><div>Ah invitations have been the most complicated part of planning yet!!</div>

K&J64

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_couple-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9c52af8b-ccc0-4cb2-a5b1-65762800064cPost:ec0ff663-6780-4025-aee8-d38ac07ba6ee">Re: A couple questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A couple questions : I love how you did them each separately, they still look formal and nice!  We aren't having a pocket invitation but I guess I could just include separate cards.  Does your reception card just say where it will be held and the rsvp card includes the meal choices to pick from?  Or do you have meal choices on the reception card so they mail back "Reception" and "RSVP"?  Ah invitations have been the most complicated part of planning yet!!
Posted by tayylor65[/QUOTE]

You have to give you venue #s for the meals? You need that written out on the RSVP cards then. I would never know to tell someone that information if it wasn't asked of me as I've never been to a wedding where it wasn't a tableside order.

tayylor65

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_couple-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9c52af8b-ccc0-4cb2-a5b1-65762800064cPost:82a1d7aa-8c27-41ef-838c-3e877b8a3b64">Re: A couple questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A couple questions : You have to give you venue #s for the meals? You need that written out on the RSVP cards then. I would never know to tell someone that information if it wasn't asked of me as I've never been to a wedding where it wasn't a tableside order.
Posted by kcullen37[/QUOTE]

<div>As of now, yes we need to have a head count for each meal prior to the wedding.  We're going to talk to our caterer though to see if they can do the tableside ordering (if that's what it's called?) I feel like that's nicer since food preferences can of course change.  </div><div>So I guess we'll be safer if we go with the "fill in the blank" type RSVP?</div>

OBX2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_couple-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9c52af8b-ccc0-4cb2-a5b1-65762800064cPost:ec0ff663-6780-4025-aee8-d38ac07ba6ee">Re: A couple questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A couple questions : I love how you did them each separately, they still look formal and nice!  We aren't having a pocket invitation but I guess I could just include separate cards.  <strong>Does your reception card just say where it will be held and the rsvp card includes the meal choices to pick from?</strong>  Or do you have meal choices on the reception card so they mail back "Reception" and "RSVP"?  Ah invitations have been the most complicated part of planning yet!!
Posted by tayylor65[/QUOTE]

Reception card states where it will be held. 

The RSVP card also has a place at at the bottom where they can select their meal choice so they will only have 1 card to mail back, the RSVP.  The Reception card is for them to keep.

ootmother2

1) the guest responds on their own personal stationery

Mr.and Mrs. Jones

accept with pleasure (or decline with regret)

the kind invitation Mr. and Mrs. Smith for Saturday, June twelfth

missy68

I also wouldn't assume too much about people finding locations.  Yes, plenty of people are tech savvy enough to use GPS or mapquest, but not everyone is, or may forget the printout (we usually take both when traveling).

Your RSVP card should have printing on it in my opinion for accepts/declines and the names. If you're serving a plated dinner, you need to know who wants what option.

One other suggestion is to number the back of the cards lightly in pencil, then put that number by the name of the person you send that invite to, on the outside chance it comes back without a name or is illegible.

OBX2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_couple-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9c52af8b-ccc0-4cb2-a5b1-65762800064cPost:0f26f038-a83c-4188-ba16-34096a2293c7">Re: A couple questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A couple questions : As of now, yes we need to have a head count for each meal prior to the wedding.  We're going to talk to our caterer though to see if they can do the tableside ordering (if that's what it's called?) I feel like that's nicer since food preferences can of course change.   So I guess we'll be safer if we go with the "fill in the blank" type RSVP?
Posted by tayylor65[/QUOTE]

Yes, we have to provide a final headcount as well however; they are preparing a few extra of each item in the event someone changes their mind.

If you are doing a tableside service, there is no need to include a menu card at all since they will order once they arrive.  I went to a wedding in March that was tableside service and once we arrived at the venue, there was a small menu laid out at each setting for the guest to choose from.

I haven't heard of the guests filling out their own stationary before though.....

tayylor65

Thanks for all of your clarifications/suggestions, they've helped a lot !

tayylor65

Missy- The numbering the back of the RSVPs a great I idea, ha I never would've thought of that!

OBX- Yeah, the blank response is older tradition I think.  It was dying out when my parents got married 25 years ago but people did end up responding well to them.  I've gotten a few invitations with this kind of RSVP but it's been rare.  I like keeping the old tradition but I'm thinking with the age groups invited (in their 20s) I'd probably not get many responses back lol.