tk confessions

amys325

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:36429858-5776-4af4-b40e-b1c70f38d6fa">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: tk confessions : I agree.  I'd be kind of pissed if I dropped several thousand dollars and used several vacation days to travel far for a wedding, and all they served me was cake and punch.  Even if H and I made a vacation out of it.
Posted by LP11509[/QUOTE]

<div>We got invited to a DW where we would have spent a ton of money to get there and they were just offering cake and punch.  We declined immediately.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

amys325

I don't get that up in arms about many of the etiquette no-nos.

I do however, HATE when people request cash in lieu of gifts.  I give cash at all weddings, but if you ask for it, I will give you a gift. 

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Any time people post about guests attire I roll my eyes REAL hard.  My dad's hired man wore jeans to my sister's wedding and my aunt about had a coronary.  Yeah, it wasn't the most appropriate of attire, but the guy doesn't have a very diverse wardrobe and doesn't really attend formal events.  I couldn't fault him.  He did buy a jacket for my grandfather's funeral, and he wore that to my wedding.

But yeah, people post here about colors people wear, black jeans, hats, etc.  Again, it's probably just a regional thing and where I got married but I can't bat an eye at that stuff.  If a person showed up to a wedding in Borat speedo or something then yeah, EVERYONE would notice.  Black jeans?  Who cares.

amys325

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:029a5db5-a3f0-4016-8c36-2cda54735c2b">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Any time people post about guests attire I roll my eyes REAL hard.  My dad's hired man wore jeans to my sister's wedding and my aunt about had a coronary.  Yeah, it wasn't the most appropriate of attire, but the guy doesn't have a very diverse wardrobe and doesn't really attend formal events.  I couldn't fault him.  He did buy a jacket for my grandfather's funeral, and he wore that to my wedding. But yeah, people post here about colors people wear, black jeans, hats, etc.  Again, it's probably just a regional thing and where I got married but I can't bat an eye at that stuff.  If a person showed up to a wedding in Borat speedo or something then yeah, EVERYONE would notice.  Black jeans?  Who cares.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

<div>I couldn't agree more.  </div><div>
</div><div>Some of the crazy brides try to micro manage exactly what their wedding is going to look like and god forbid someone show up in the wrong attire and ruin their pictures.</div><div>
</div><div>I just wanted my guests to have fun and enjoy themselves.  I didn't care what they wore.</div><div>
</div><div>And "Black Tie Optional" is the strangest terminology ever.  You are basically setting yourself up for people coming in tuxes/evening gowns or very casual attire.  </div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:029a5db5-a3f0-4016-8c36-2cda54735c2b">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Any time people post about guests attire I roll my eyes REAL hard.  My dad's hired man wore jeans to my sister's wedding and my aunt about had a coronary.  Yeah, it wasn't the most appropriate of attire, but the guy doesn't have a very diverse wardrobe and doesn't really attend formal events.  I couldn't fault him.  He did buy a jacket for my grandfather's funeral, and he wore that to my wedding. But yeah, people post here about colors people wear, black jeans, hats, etc.  Again, it's probably just a regional thing and where I got married but I can't bat an eye at that stuff.  If a person showed up to a wedding in Borat speedo or something then yeah, EVERYONE would notice.  Black jeans?  Who cares.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

<div>Step-dad tried to leave the house for our wedding wearing his favorite hat (It's black with some Ag Co. logo - he got it free)  His argument was that it matched his suit and he WAS going to take it off in the church.</div>

brandichamberlain

I secretly love trolls.  I think that this place has been kind of slow laterly compared to a few months ago, and they make my day interesting.

Girlie1030

We were pretty much the last of everyone we know to get married and I honestly can't tell you if any of the weddings I've been to have broken any of these "rules".  The only one I did side eye was when the invitation said that details for the reception were to follow and weren't given until after the ceremony.  This wedding was also on a Tuesday morning and I had to skip the reception since it ended up being almost an hour away from the ceremony location in the opposite direction. 

LP11509

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:f05047c1-a671-4cc9-865c-5c16b06a59ad">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]We were pretty much the last of everyone we know to get married and I honestly can't tell you if any of the weddings I've been to have broken any of these "rules".  <strong>The only one I did side eye was when the invitation said that details for the reception were to follow and weren't given until after the ceremony.</strong>  <strong>This wedding was also on a Tuesday morning and I had to skip the reception since it ended up being almost an hour away from the ceremony location in the opposite direction. </strong>
Posted by Girlie1030[/QUOTE]

<div>The Tuesday morning part would have been enough to keep me from going, unless I was unemployed at the time or it was a very close friend.  </div>

Girlie1030

It was family LP. 

[Deleted User]

I barely remember what people wore to our wedding. I know what color shirt my stepbrother had on due to some picture incidents, but other than that, I have to really think about it. Mostly I remember my mom and MIL's dresses because they both were so picky about what to wear. 

I also don't see the big deal in asking people for help. Maybe that's because I come from a family that's very vocal. If you're being stupid or rude, we'll tell you. If you need help with something, all you have to do is ask. If you pissed someone off, you're going to know. So asking for help with a DIY project? Not the huge ZOMG so rude! thing it's made out to be here.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

"Black tie optional."  I freely can say without caring whose feelings it would hurt - you're a dumbass if you put that on invitation or spread that shiiit around.  "Optional."  Okay then, don't be upset if no one dresses black tie to your wedding.  Dipshit.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:26f08fc4-2b70-486d-ada0-852c65af072b">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]JCB, i think people look uncomfortable when they dress out of their element. With that said, I do judge grooms who can't nut up for a day and wear something besides jeans.  There are so many posts on the attire board where brides are asking how to get their FI to wear something besides jeans or camo.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]


Ditto all this.  You're the damn GROOM ffs, not a guest.  Dress up.  It's one damn day.

maratea

I don't remember what any of our guests wore, except MIL because she looked ridiculous in her lime green prom-wannabe dress.

mehgank

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:586b4e01-8bf4-4355-9656-7c3080ce9c36">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]It really bothers me when people don't apply the same standards (totally not the right word, but I'm at a loss for a better one) to regs and new posters.  If a new poster had come along wanting to do a vow renewal like Any did, they would have been shot down.  But nobody said anything to Any about hers (that I saw, anyway) because we all like her.  Also, I'm pretty sure she referred to hers as a wedding several times and nobody said anything, including me which I realize makes me a big ol hypocrite. .  
Posted by LP11509[/QUOTE]

There were several differences in Any's wedding, and other brides' PPDs. I am in no way speaking for Any, but IIRC, she was honest with her guests from the very beginning that they were getting married at the courthouse prior to their wedding so that she could get her immigration process completed. I think that's one of the main reasons no one batted an eye at her for having two weddings. Honesty is key.

Megbo2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:e7a9b3ae-c45b-4fbc-adbb-f1d1131d9002">Re:tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:tk confessions: I told my girls what I wanted to do and made the reservations. I don't see why it matters. A bparty isn't the same as a shower.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

<div>I totally agree. I don't drink,  so my MOH asked my opinions of what I wanted to do, a basically let me pick. I don't see a problem with it. </div>

LesPaul

I agree, AATB - I really didn't care that my uncle wore jeans to our wedding.  Hell, he wears jeans everywhere.  It would be a little different if the wedding is held at a truly formal venue where black tie is required, but I've never attended one of those (and probably never will).

I was chuckling at my MIL last week at SSon's wedding.  It was very nice, held at an outdoor garden venue.  The 5 GM wore ties that matched the individual BM's dresses.  The groom and GM wore khakis and white shirts - completely fine in my book, since it's what they wanted to wear.  The WP looked great.  MIL kept saying how 'different' everything was, since it wasn't in a church, they wrote their own vows (which were very nice) and the man she thought 'had to be' the BM didn't stand next to the groom.  I tried to explain that sometimes there isn't an 'honored' BM or GM - they just have a wedding party.  I thought she would faint when I told her my cousin's H had a woman as his BM.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I don't understand the point of bridal portraits and never heard of them before TK.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:b1301819-b8b5-4512-9f19-ab621dfdd61f">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Sesh, I don't think the asking  for help is what's rude.  It's getting all bent out of shape b/c someone doesn't want to help you tie ribbons or make Cp's or whatever that's rude.  
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

I can see that, but I've seen many posts that state something along the lines of, "it's your wedding and your project. Do it youself and don't ask for help."

That's more what I was referencing. WTF, now people aren't allowed to even ask for help? Please.

LP11509

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:f255d009-a27a-450d-b9bd-4228ad502fd0">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't remember what any of our guests wore, except MIL because she looked ridiculous in her lime green prom-wannabe dress.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

<div>I couldn't tell you what anyone wore to my wedding either, or most other weddings that I've been to.  The only thing that sticks out is the girl who wore a shiny, fully sequined red dress that barely covered her ass to a friend's wedding.  She caught the bouquet and the guy who caught the garter put it on her leg.  I'm sure he got a full view of her crotch while he was kneeled down beside her putting it on.  </div>

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:0c53c426-b684-4d4b-a926-d6bc1d0432ba">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: tk confessions : We got invited to a DW where we would have spent a ton of money to get there and they were just offering cake and punch.  We declined immediately.
Posted by amys325[/QUOTE]

I also recently got invited to a wedding where I would have had to spend a ton of money to get there and then found out there was a cash bar.  I also declined pretty quickly.  I'd honestly rather see a limited open alcohol set up (just wine and beer, perhaps) than a cash bar.  Especially when your venue cost a fortune.

kjv2013

As a lurker for a while I find it hilarious that so many different posters keeping asking "CAN I PUT A FISH ON THE TABLE AS A CENTERPEICE" and then are incredibly suprised when people tear them a new one in about .6 seconds. If you lurk for even 10 minutes your probably going to find a fish thread and you can generally get the idea that fish on the table is a really bad idea. Whenever I see a thread like that I cringe, but I am always secretly excited to watch the whole thing unfold.

Megbo2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:9d17eb31-2a2a-4410-8f07-5902a026e0b3">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand the point of bridal portraits and never heard of them before TK.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

<div>I have to agree.  I want the first time I get all dressed up and ready to be preparing for my future H, not just random pictures.  </div><div>
</div><div>I am getting a TTD shoot complimentary though, and I don't hate that. </div>

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I don't judge cash bars either. 

LesPaul

Any was poking fun at herself several times about it too.  She was upfront about the immigration issues, and everyone knew about it.

Although there is a double standard about certain posters and newbs, LP.  Always has been, and always will be (imo).

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:0d9d00a3-c18c-43f3-855a-0d2d9bf491c7">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, my ex SIL insisted on doing a bridal portrait.  She's from the south so I thought it was maybe a southern thing?  Idk, it always seemed weird to me b/c that's not how she looked on her actual wedding day.  It seems very...IDK, like you're playing dress-up or something?  
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

Yeah it's a southern thing.  I remember one bride explaining to me that she would have one of her bridal portraints up at her wedding.  WTF?  You really want a picture sitting there of you in all your bridal get-up as people walk into your wedding?  Dumb.

brandichamberlain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:13677f63-d1dc-46a8-aa76-8475fe6eb4ab">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't judge cash bars either. 
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

I am sort of indifferent about them generally.  However, FI's cousin is getting married in two weeks and her mom has tried to make it into a competition with our wedding.  She keeps going on and on about how formal it will be with a sit down dinner, and real flowers, etc... and how ours is 'relaxed'.  It came out that they used all their budget for that stuff and now they are only hosting bottles of water put in bins around the room.  She wants to do a cash bar now since we're having alcohol.  It bothers me (irrationally) for some reason.

Matty143

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:13677f63-d1dc-46a8-aa76-8475fe6eb4ab">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't judge cash bars either. 
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

I will take a cash bar over a dry wedding any day.

I don't care what guests wear either. We actually have a friend of ILs that didn't come to the wedding because he didn't want to wear a coat. His wife just brought a friend instead. WTF dude..

acaponi87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:9d17eb31-2a2a-4410-8f07-5902a026e0b3">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand the point of bridal portraits and never heard of them before TK.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

Same. And while I get them slightly more, I'll put boudoirs in there too.

I'm sure they are fun but I just don't understand the point. I'll never hang a picture of just me around my house in my wedding dress. It's weird. Boudoirs at least you give to someone but then what? They look at them once (maybe occassionally) and then they get put away in a drawer or something because you certainly aren't going to leave those out on your coffee table. Just seems like a waste of money to me.

I think it might be a southern thing? Never heard of them til TK.

Nebb

My one aunt wore a white tshirt and lime green shorts to my wedding. Its very obvious she is under dressed in most of the pics she is in. Also, a few of my guests husbands showed up in jeans and my ILs brought shorts and "casual" clothes which they changed into right after dinner. I know what people wore, believe me.

dmiller9274

I don't get the big uproar over BM's doing more than buying a dress and showing up. I've never been invited to be in a wedding and not assumed I would need a dress, shoes, pay for my hair and make up to be done. That's how the people in my group do things. After being on TK, I felt a little bad and even offered to pay for the girls to get their hair and make up done, and they were all a little offended by it. The way I see it, I would only be in a wedding for someone who is a very dear friend or family member, it certainly isn't a big deal to pay for my hair and make up to be done for a day that is very special and important to them. 

My other TK confession is that I'm tired of everything Chels says being dissected. Yes, she's said some flameworthy stuff in the past, and is sometimes naive, but with most everyone who posts here on a regular basis, they get the benefit of the doubt. As soon as Chels says anything it's like a competition to jump on it and dissect what could possibly be wrong with her post. Then if she tries to explain it, it's always "there's Chels backpedaling again." It gets old. At this point, I would think people would figure out that she's not exactly the poster child for saying things how she means for them to come out.