Resolved

michellyg04

Thanks

ricksang

Would you rather have his family there or a DW wedding?

michellyg04

We would pay for most of the wedding regardless, they are just offereing to help as an incentive to have it local.

We want his family to be there...but we loved the idea of have a mini vacation with our closet family and friends.

misssunshine17

When you have a destination wedding, this this the choice you make. Not everyone will be able to afford to attend. 

michellesean

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fi-family-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a59a2e75-8431-45bb-9e7b-2567f5abb734Post:bef557fc-5e00-419d-bed0-88cf7a5700a6">Re: FI Family Drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]Well you have two choices in my mind.  Pay for the wedding yourself and do whatever the hell you want or take their money and compromise.  You live in CA right?  <strong>How about a beach wedding in So CA?</strong>  What about the DW is most appealing to you? 
Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

This.  You live in NoCA so plan the wedding in Malibu or Santa Barbara, it would feel like a DW, AND FI's family can come. 

Sorry they're being so difficult.  In the end it is your wedding, but sometimes you hve to think about how it would affect guests. 

emilylynne14

I totally understand this one.  My FI and I are getting married 3 hours away from my family however his whole family lives in CO, MS, and TX.  We decided early on a DW and got great input except from my mom and dad and FMIL.  I have a big family and his family isn't so much.  FMIL was worried that no one from thier side would want to travel but the PP from TX would only go IF we had it in TX anyway.  We decided to continued with our plans and took my parents down and now everyone is on board.  It will work out, just some PP won't come and that is okay, if you try to make everyone happy you will get left out of your day.

Starmusica

Michelle- do you realize how hard a destination is on guests? I am not saying there is anything wrong with one- but you are insane if you think its ok to biiitch that some people cant make it. California to Miami is expensive and a LOT for people. You are INSANELY spoiled if you think his family is out of line. You are. If you want a DW have it, but don't expect everyone to drop thousands on your wedding!

And who cares where they've recently traveled- that is a VACATION. It's different spending that kinda money on someone else's wedding. And your comment about "international travel woes"? What is the MATTER with you?

michellyg04

Thanks everyone for the advice my FI and I still have lots of time and plenty to think about.

Starmusica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fi-family-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a59a2e75-8431-45bb-9e7b-2567f5abb734Post:c58ebcc3-9eb5-4d10-820c-2f5a78ad0453">Re: FI Family Drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks everyone for the advice my FI and I still have lots of time and plenty to think about.
Posted by michellyg04[/QUOTE]


Please just remember: just because you are willing to spend money on your wedding, doesn't mean your guests should have to. It's insanely selfish of you to be angry that not everyone will be able to make a DW. DW are fun but they are generally small for a reason.

pearlaqua

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fi-family-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a59a2e75-8431-45bb-9e7b-2567f5abb734Post:3e2e4b0f-326c-417f-9679-473e5e9d109b">Re: FI Family Drama!</a>:
[QUOTE]We would pay for most of the wedding regardless, they are just offereing to help as an incentive to have it local. We want his family to be there...<strong>but we loved the idea of have a mini vacation with our closet family and friends.</strong>
Posted by michellyg04[/QUOTE]

Hmmm... I was kind with you until the bolded part.  Wanting people to come to your wedding is one thing but FI's family  probably wouldn't go on vacation spontaneously with your family so surprise that they might not come to a DW seems odd.

You get the benefit of having both sides together, no one on the "other" side has that benefit.