Invitations are out, responses are coming in and now he wants to add TWO more people

526SadieSadie

The title pretty much says it all.

The two guys he wants to add are the sons of his parent's friends and were on the original list and were taken off (by him, not me), then his mom put them back on and removed them again.
Their parents are invited but I made the invite out to them, not The So-in-so Family but the sons still seem to think they're invited.  If they were on the list, they each would have gotten their own invitation, they're 26 and 22 years old, it's not like they're little kids.
Dan feels badly that they think they're invited.  I'm saying they invitations went out, it's too late to add people.

Your thoughts?

betrothed123

Does he want to invite them just because he feels badly, or does he really want them there?

[Deleted User]

Have you actually talked to them in person about whether or not they're invited? Or have you heard via word of mouth? If you've already implied that they are invited, and you don't mind them being there, I'd say just let them come. But if they're just assuming and you can't afford 2 more people, then I'd wait and see the RSVP and go from there.

526SadieSadie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_invitations-out-responses-coming-now-wants-add-two-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ab245c72-364b-4d92-bc73-d3ba2f638633Post:87095b87-f1f1-416e-98eb-78093c9e8e2b">Re: Invitations are out, responses are coming in and now he wants to add TWO more people</a>:
[QUOTE]Does he want to invite them just because he feels badly, or does he really want them there?
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

I asked him directly and he said he feels bad.  Then he said "we shouldn't have taken them off the list." 
HE took them off the list, I made the initial list with them on and he said they didn't need to be invited and his mom concurred.  Then about a month ago, she put them on after having a few scotches and took them off again when she was sober. 
One of the guys is the one who pulled his penis out at my sister so I'm not thrilled with the idea of him being there, the other one, I haven't even met.

mcornelissen

I agree with Sesha. Unless you really cant stand them being there.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_invitations-out-responses-coming-now-wants-add-two-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ab245c72-364b-4d92-bc73-d3ba2f638633Post:66476943-cd55-43e8-a54b-0798a8d3ea60">Re: Invitations are out, responses are coming in and now he wants to add TWO more people</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invitations are out, responses are coming in and now he wants to add TWO more people : I asked him directly and he said he feels bad.  Then he said "we shouldn't have taken them off the list."  HE took them off the list, I made the initial list with them on and he said they didn't need to be invited and his mom concurred.  Then about a month ago, she put them on after having a few scotches and took them off again when she was sober.  One of the guys is the one who pulled his penis out at my sister so I'm not thrilled with the idea of him being there, the other one, I haven't even met.
Posted by 526SadieSadie[/QUOTE]
Guilt is not a reason to extend an invitation, IMO.  If he's only inviting them because he feels bad, not because he really wants them there, then don't extend the invite.

Also, in light of the situation with your sister, I wouldn't want them there either.

[Deleted User]

OK, yeah, I wouldn't want him there either. That's a perfectly good reason to keep him off the list. And like B said, guilt is not a good reason. Only invite them if you want them there.

jennylove810

I say forget it.  If you'd really wanted them there in the first place, they would have made the cut.

Don't drop a couple hundred bucks to invite a couple guys you don't really want to be there.

526SadieSadie

Thanks everyone!  I thought I was going a little Bridezilla on Dan when I said it was too late (not that we fought about it, but he was surprised that I didn't say it was ok)  I'm so glad I have all of you to act as my barometer of zilla

jennylove810

We'll barometer your zilla any day, gf.

JennaV26

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_invitations-out-responses-coming-now-wants-add-two-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ab245c72-364b-4d92-bc73-d3ba2f638633Post:66476943-cd55-43e8-a54b-0798a8d3ea60">Re: Invitations are out, responses are coming in and now he wants to add TWO more people</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: One of the guys is the one who pulled his penis out at my sister so I'm not thrilled with the idea of him being there, the other one, I haven't even met.
Posted by 526SadieSadie[/QUOTE]

Um, no, don't invite them. What a creeper.

HKD817

Oh welcome to my dilemma!! My FI has added 6 more couples! Couples!! as in 12 more people to our list. He will realize how much this sucks when these people say yes and he has to pay the venue another $1200!!! He is unstoppable.