F/U Momzilla

mrscarter052011

As I said in the first post, we had planned on talking to my parents about the kid situation at dinner yesteday night.  Well, I decided that before we went over there and started a fight that I would call my dad and give him a heads up (also I was hoping to get his take on the issue).  It turns out that my father is the one insisting that my cousin's kids are invited and when I told him that we were not going to compromise on this instead of saying that he isn't paying he said he isn't coming.   Before I could even explain our reasoning he hung up on me.  Needless to say we did not go over for dinner.  On a good note, my mom is still talking to me.

Bottom line is that we (FI and I) are bummed that we will most likely have to postpone the wedding but this will allow us to plan and pay for it ourselves so we can keep our sanity.  Thanks for all your advice.

JenGin74

I hope it all works out.

I seriously think paying for it yourself is the way to go. Being able to do whatever you want during planning makes everything so much easier.

shaydenise

Do you think he's serious though?  I mean, is he the type to get angry and say something like that out of anger then "change his mind" when he never really meant it in the first place?

Either way that does suck, I'm sorry =(

maratea

I'm glad to hear you are sticking to your guns but also being sensible. It sucks to have to postpone, but at least you'll be able to plan everything how you want it to be.

BecW2be

If you pay for it and still don't invite the kids, is your dad going to come? It sucks you have to postpone, but you'll feel so much better paying for it yourself and having the guest list you choose.

mrscarter052011

I think that he will cool off and come to the wedding but the plan to have it at the original venue are off (we can't afford it).  We will still plan a wedding (or elope) and we may even keep the date because we have time to plan. 

The most ironic part is that at this point we probably will do a smaller, less formal event and have all the kids there anyway so the whole argument will have been for nothing.  I wish they would have been more vocal about this 6 months ago and we never would have booked the country club.

maratea

I'm curious as to why your parents think a country club is a proper place to have a wedding if they wanted to invite kids. I don't mind kids at a wedding, but if I were at a country club, I would most certainly not expect children to be there. Our rehearsal dinner was at a cc, and it was no place for kids.

 You are right- they really should have thought of that when you all were choosing the reception site.

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fu-momzilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ae0b5b6b-31cb-4d36-a167-25452cd9bc73Post:68082cf3-49ce-4f01-82d7-af636aeeaab9">Re: F/U Momzilla</a>:
[QUOTE]I think that he will cool off and come to the wedding but the plan to have it at the original venue are off (we can't afford it).  We will still plan a wedding (or elope) and we may even keep the date because we have time to plan.  The most ironic part is that at this point we probably will do a smaller, less formal event and have all the kids there anyway so the whole argument will have been for nothing.  I wish they would have been more vocal about this 6 months ago and we never would have booked the country club.
Posted by mrscarter052011[/QUOTE]

Where in NJ are you? While I was planning I found some very affordable venues. I may be able to help. Let me know.

[Deleted User]

What is the BFD about these kids? Why is your dad so adamant about inviting them? It's ridiculous. But I agree, at least now you'll have total control. Or, you could just say screw it and plan a kick-ass DW in Hawaii or some other awesome location. Either way, good for you for sticking to your guns.

mrscarter052011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fu-momzilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ae0b5b6b-31cb-4d36-a167-25452cd9bc73Post:2c13c440-279c-4d4b-889c-31e1830f1e70">Re: F/U Momzilla</a>:
[QUOTE]What is the BFD about these kids? Why is your dad so adamant about inviting them? It's ridiculous. But I agree, at least now you'll have total control. Or, you could just say screw it and plan a kick-ass DW in Hawaii or some other awesome location. Either way, good for you for sticking to your guns.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

I think we are going the "kick-ass" route.  Truthfully, the country club would have been beautiful and everything was taken care of so it was easy but that was definitely more my parents ideal than mine (and I'm not trying to sound like a brat because we were happy to have their help).  When we first got engaged and assumed we would be paying for everything ourselves we had talked about getting married at one of the state parks by us and then having a small party afterward.  So, that will probably be the route we go.

mrscarter052011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fu-momzilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ae0b5b6b-31cb-4d36-a167-25452cd9bc73Post:2dae06fd-753b-4e81-aedb-e756ede1ee18">Re: F/U Momzilla</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I'm curious as to why your parents think a country club is a proper place to have a wedding if they wanted to invite kids</strong>. I don't mind kids at a wedding, but if I were at a country club, I would most certainly not expect children to be there. Our rehearsal dinner was at a cc, and it was no place for kids.  You are right- they really should have thought of that when you all were choosing the reception site.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]
 

Thank you, they won't even listen to me try to explain this.