passive agressive notes

Nebb

What are some passive agressive things youve done?

I havnt yet received a thank you card for the gifts I gave my cousin to her "destination wedding" that we were invited to with a months notice that she knew we wouldnt be able to make. I emailed my aunt to "make sure they got the gifts, I wasnt sure because I hadnt heard anything". I know that was kind of passive agressive, but I think its incredibly RUDE to wait FOUR months to send out thank yous.

you?? (dont say you dont do passive agressive things, cause I know you do)

number55

I do loads of passive aggressive things I think. I try not to. It is hard to remember them I guess. Some I am not proud of. 

Steph0871

I'm from Minnesota; we are kings/queens of passive aggressiveness. (Maybe that's a side effect of the whole 'Minnesota nice' thing.)

I can't even think of anything now, but I'm sure there were at least a dozen things I did today that were passive aggressive.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_passive-agressive-notes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b455671e-426c-40d7-95b3-716770045ca9Post:a3633b80-ffed-4736-88f6-1cfef317ba0b">Re: passive agressive notes</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm from Minnesota;<strong> we are kings/queens of passive aggressiveness.</strong> (Maybe that's a side effect of the whole 'Minnesota nice' thing.) I can't even think of anything now, but I'm sure there were at least a dozen things I did today that were passive aggressive.
Posted by Steph0871[/QUOTE]
Hah I love this!

number55

Okay, here is one I didn't do but almost did, kinda.  My MOH and her BF forgot our wedding card/gift ($) in their car. I know this because when we were worried that we had lost some gifts/cards (which we didn't) my MOH told me that they forgot it in the car and that she would get it to me. A week later, maybe 10 days, I still hadn't received it so I said NOTHING about it. I figure if she wants to give me a gift (not that expect one) or at least a card (whatever) she will do it. Last week she asked me if I had received it in the mail. I haven't so I told her as much. She has now canceled the cheque. She hasn't directly said the will send anything else and I will never mention it again because obviously it would be rude. But part of me would want to even though I know it is wrong and rude.

Edited for a typo.

number55

I can also tend to be very passive aggressive with DH. Esp. when I am insecure. 

number55

meh, maybe very is a strong. I am aware that I can be passive aggressive. I try to control it.

Nebb

I try to control it too, but oddly thank you notes are something I take very seriously. I didnt get anything from my other cousin (the aforementioned cousins sister) when she got married a few years back and it still bites my ass.

Steph0871

I hate it.  I'm passive aggressive, but only when I don't want to be a bitch.  Most of my coworkers are passive aggressive just to be bitches.

Example, work.  Our dress code is technically 'business casual', but people are usually more on the casual side as long as it's appropriate. There's a coworker who thinks that if it's not jeans, it's business appropriate.  Including velour/sweat pants. no lie. She's like 50, too, so whatever.

I have a pair of really comfy, warm slipper kind of shoes that I always wear outside in the winter.  I wore them to work yesterday (as usual), to change into heels once I got in the office. Said coworker looks at me and goes "oahhh, wearing slippers today?"

my gut instinct response? "yup. Want them to wear with your pajamas?" (thankfully I bit my tongue and kept walking though.)

Chi_Chi

OMG, Steph. That's is awesome, and I know myself, I would have said it.

[Deleted User]

I'm sure I do it, but the only thing that really comes to mind is when I'm talking to a candidate and their resume lists - present, but they've been gone for months and months from that job. I'll usually say something like "oh, so you're not currently at X? I must just have an outdate version of your resume. Could you send me a current one?"

I know. I'm lame. My mom, is the queen of PA though. THE QUEEN.

Steph0871

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_passive-agressive-notes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b455671e-426c-40d7-95b3-716770045ca9Post:2d7ac596-f02d-4692-9e12-55c0266026df">Re: passive agressive notes</a>:
[QUOTE]I can also tend to be very passive aggressive with DH. Esp. when I am insecure. 
Posted by number55[/QUOTE]

<div>ditto. but less passive aggressive, and more fishing for compliments.  "eh, I don't know if I like the way these jeans look."  him: 'love them on you!' me, <em>muahaha, you fell right into my trap. thanks, baby.</em></div><div><em>
</em></div><div>Eta, and now I feel like an idiot. ha</div>

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_passive-agressive-notes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b455671e-426c-40d7-95b3-716770045ca9Post:6d93247f-da3c-472b-8818-441b9b69fc81">Re: passive agressive notes</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate it.  I'm passive aggressive, but only when I don't want to be a bitch.  Most of my coworkers are passive aggressive just to be bitches. Example, work.  Our dress code is technically 'business casual', but people are usually more on the casual side as long as it's appropriate. There's a coworker who thinks that if it's not jeans, it's business appropriate.  Including velour/sweat pants. no lie. She's like 50, too, so whatever. I have a pair of really comfy, warm slipper kind of shoes that I always wear outside in the winter.  I wore them to work yesterday (as usual), to change into heels once I got in the office. Said coworker looks at me and goes "oahhh, wearing slippers today?" my gut instinct response?<strong> "yup. Want them to wear with your pajamas?"</strong> (thankfully I bit my tongue and kept walking though.)
Posted by Steph0871[/QUOTE]
I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall if you said that!

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_passive-agressive-notes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b455671e-426c-40d7-95b3-716770045ca9Post:44546d17-1f7e-45c7-8dc2-ecb218530297">Re: passive agressive notes</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sure I do it, but the only thing that really comes to mind is when I'm talking to a candidate and their resume lists - present, but they've been gone for months and months from that job. I'll usually say something like "oh, so you're not currently at X? I must just have an outdate version of your resume. Could you send me a current one?" I know. I'm lame. My mom, is the queen of PA though. THE QUEEN.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
I bet they just SQUIRM when you do that! busted!!!

number55

See, I care and don't care about thank you cards. Usually I couldn't care less but we went to a wedding this summer and gave a sizeable amount of cash and haven't gotten a card. My ex-roommate got one though but he did a lot of stuff for the couple (made a slide show and for all intensive purposes acted as their ipod dj.). So then I wonder if ours got lost or if they just only sent them to people who helped.

And then I wonder what I will do if my MOH never gives us a card or present or whatever. I will still send her a thank you card for being my MOH (oh wait, I have already done that) so then does a thank you card where no gift or card has been given become passive aggressive?

Chi_Chi

I think there's a fine line between PA and just being a biitch. I don't think I know where that line is drawn. I tend to pass PA and go straight to revenge.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_passive-agressive-notes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b455671e-426c-40d7-95b3-716770045ca9Post:e4eea77a-efc8-464b-8d04-ac6d749b9826">Re: passive agressive notes</a>:
[QUOTE]See, I care and don't care about thank you cards. Usually I couldn't care less but we went to a wedding this summer and gave a sizeable amount of cash and haven't gotten a card. My ex-roommate got one though but he did a lot of stuff for the couple (made a slide show and for all intensive purposes acted as their ipod dj.). So then I wonder if ours got lost or if they just only sent them to people who helped. And then I wonder what I will do if my MOH never gives us a card or present or whatever. I will still send her a thank you card for being my MOH (oh wait, I have already done that) so then does a thank you card where no gift or card has been given become passive aggressive?
Posted by number55[/QUOTE]
I just feel like we were intentionally shut out from the wedding, and then we gave a very generous gift and were never thanked for it. That just seems beyond rude to me. I just dont get how hard it is to say thank you.

number55

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_passive-agressive-notes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b455671e-426c-40d7-95b3-716770045ca9Post:957970a5-64d5-40eb-aeb8-2b620c7481f5">Re: passive agressive notes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: passive agressive notes : I just feel like we were intentionally shut out from the wedding, and then we gave a very generous gift and were never thanked for it. That just seems beyond rude to me. I just dont get how hard it is to say thank you.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

<div>I just re-read your OP and I get how your situation is different. I would be slighted too and even more pissed if I didn't get a card. </div>

Steph0871

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_passive-agressive-notes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b455671e-426c-40d7-95b3-716770045ca9Post:b33caf83-d637-42c4-bd45-670128caca33">Re: passive agressive notes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: passive agressive notes : I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall if you said that!
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

<div>Someone needs to.  She's the one megabitch in the office who no one will confront, and it pisses me off. She always bitches about the fact that she's never been offered a promotion. BUT she can't move up, because she doesn't have her college degree, even though she's worked at a UNIVERSITY for 30 years, where tuition is free ffs.</div><div>
</div><div>ok, I'm done.</div>

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_passive-agressive-notes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b455671e-426c-40d7-95b3-716770045ca9Post:f170b1fc-a27f-48a3-9935-aa8c18bde30a">Re: passive agressive notes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: passive agressive notes : I just re-read your OP and I get how your situation is different. I would be slighted too and even more pissed if I didn't get a card. 
Posted by number55[/QUOTE]
I kind of feel like a bitch for feeling this way and I dont know if its just ME feeling this way or the knot in me that is all "you must send thankyou cards within x amount of time" that is contributing.

number55

Well to be honest, my views on a lot of things have changed a bit since being on TK. There are things I really had never thought about and that never ever bothered me at all until I came on here. Now I am at least more aware of stuff and while it still doesn't bother all that much it does make me pause for thought. I feel that way about cash bar and BMs wearing the same dresses and head tables and etc, etc, etc...they don't necessarily bother me I am just more aware of them now. 

But in your case I think you are feeling as though not only was your cousin rude in how she invited you but she was rude again after that by not at least being polite enough to acknowledge your gift. 

amber2123

I have a supervisor that is supposed to give people breaks and lunches during our shift, and every time we work together, he camps out at my desk and tells me "go give <insert employee name here> a break/lunch.  I get POed because he makes more than me, but wants me to do his job.  The other day he was talking about the raise he just got and I said "It's because you're so good at your job.  Z needs a break though, I should go"  And walked off.  When I returned he signed off and spent the day DOING his job.  It was awesome!

leayn

I can be very passive aggressive.  I like being a bitch the most when no one can be sure if I am doing it on purpose.

linguo42

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_passive-agressive-notes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b455671e-426c-40d7-95b3-716770045ca9Post:481110fd-5251-4553-b784-8264532faa87">Re: passive agressive notes</a>:
[QUOTE]I can be very passive aggressive.  I like being a bitch the most when no one can be sure if I am doing it on purpose.
Posted by leayn[/QUOTE]

This exactly. I really love being PA to people who are too stupid to recognize that I'm being PA. It's my little guilty pleasure. FI's the same way. A match made in heaven, lol.