Snarky Brides

Some girls just don't get it. Vent.

Back Story: I dated this guy Nathan a while back. He was crazy. I mean literally crazy. He wouldn't let me out of his closet one time for like 3 hours. My best friend was with me the whole time. He had a gun, and was threatening to kill me if I ran,  himself if I didn't stay with him, and Kimberly if she tried to call anyone. I told him I loved him and would never leave him. Hey, it got me out of the closet and out of his house. I would have told him anything.

After I left his house I went straight to the sherriff's office and filed charges on him. He pled guilty to kidnapping and a few other misdemeanors.  He never went to trial. He spent 5 years in jail. I still to this day have a restraining order on him.

Flash forward to Saturday: My friend Katie call's telling me how excited she is about this new guy she's dating. She asked if she could bring him to the house. His name's Lee Morrision. I said ok, we set up a dinner date and they come over.

Guess who "Lee" is. Nathan. He's no longer going by Nathan because people remember his name from the paper. I told her he had to go. "Lee" was not welcome in my house. They left and nothing else was said that night.

She called me yesterday, and informs me that she will no longer be associating with me because I filed false charges against "Lee".

Seriously? He pled guilty to "false charges"? I didn't argue with her or even try to explain what happened. He's obviously already filled her head with enough lies about what happened that no matter what I say it's a lie.

Vent over.
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Re: Some girls just don't get it. Vent.

  • Err...wow.

    That's quite the dinner date. Undecided
  • Wow. That sucks.
    I'm glad you were able to get out of that situation.. Thats freaking crazy that he is dating a friend of yours though.
    Unfortunately, there probably isn't much you can say to her. Thats one of those things she is going to have to learn the hard way.
  • Well, that doesn't sound like much of a loss.
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  • Wow.  Just... wow.
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  • Wow, that sucks. Had she ever heard you tell that story before? And still chooses to believe him? Some friend.

    I can't imagine what it must have felt like to see him at the door. It must have been terrible, and scary.
  • Oh my. 
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  • People are stupid. It happens. This sounds more and more like the Desperate HOusewives plot about the murderer guy. 

    Let her go. She'll figure it out. She can't say you didn't warn her. 



    FWIW, though, I do know someone who plead guilty to a lesser charge because he and his lawyer didn't think anyone would believe him at trial. It was total he said/she said. I don't know what to believe, but he maintains his innocence even though he accepted a plea bargain. 
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  • Wow! I hope for her sake he has changed....
  • Wow! I bet your heart completely exited your body when you saw him. I know mine would have.

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  • Geesh. Well, hopefully she won't have to go through something like that before she finds out what a nut he is.

  • Sadly, she will find out someday that you were right.  I just hope it isn't as dramatic as the closet incident, and she gets away from this crazy person safely.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_girls-just-dont-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b59fc671-3cf3-41d3-9085-cfb4c32d2306Post:f67e7dee-0fe9-422f-ad39-568290369173">Re: Some girls just don't get it. Vent.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow! I hope for her sake he has changed....
    Posted by raenbow319[/QUOTE]


    Doubtful if he has this girl convinced the OP was wrong to file charges. :( 

    I only hope the friend doesn't learn the truth the hard way.
  • Ugh, I hate it when something like that happens. My friend was hooking up with this dude and then found out he had a GF, she decided if she didn't know about the GF, the GF probably didn't know about her. After much discussion with me and internal debate she determines the GF should know her BFs a cheater and a liar, so she told the GF. The GF accuses my friend of making it all up and trying to spilt them up (even though my friend wanted NOTHING to do with him once she found out he had a GF). This guy proceeds to cheat on his GF with 3 others girls. Some girls are just dumb.

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  • When she calls you from a closet in a few months, try to be nice to her. That's all I got. Wow.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_girls-just-dont-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b59fc671-3cf3-41d3-9085-cfb4c32d2306Post:4244a335-00ee-4ace-9bae-d77ae63016a6">Some girls just don't get it. Vent.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Back Story: I dated this guy Nathan a while back. He was crazy. I mean literally crazy. He wouldn't let me out of his closet one time for like 3 hours. My best friend was with me the whole time. He had a gun, and was threatening to kill me if I ran,  himself if I didn't stay with him, and Kimberly if she tried to call anyone. I told him I loved him and would never leave him. Hey, it got me out of the closet and out of his house. I would have told him anything. After I left his house I went straight to the sherriff's office and filed charges on him. He pled guilty to kidnapping and a few other misdemeanors.  He never went to trial. He spent 5 years in jail. I still to this day have a restraining order on him. Flash forward to Saturday: My friend Katie call's telling me how excited she is about this new guy she's dating. She asked if she could bring him to the house. His name's Lee Morrision. I said ok, we set up a dinner date and they come over. Guess who "Lee" is. Nathan. He's no longer going by Nathan because people remember his name from the paper. I told her he had to go. "Lee" was not welcome in my house. They left and nothing else was said that night. She called me yesterday, and informs me that she will no longer be associating with me because I filed false charges against "Lee". Seriously? He pled guilty to "false charges"? I didn't argue with her or even try to explain what happened. He's obviously already filled her head with enough lies about what happened that no matter what I say it's a lie. Vent over.
    Posted by MissDuke2012[/QUOTE]

    You are kind of a drama magnet.
  • Wow.  I agree with wow.

    Let's all hope that she doesn't get wrapped up in it too much and he doesn't do the same thing or worse to her... even if she's not being smart about it now.  That's all you can do. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_girls-just-dont-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b59fc671-3cf3-41d3-9085-cfb4c32d2306Post:b85997b2-09b7-457c-afa3-d971acdee23a">Re: Some girls just don't get it. Vent.</a>:
    [QUOTE]When she calls you from a closet in a few months, try to be nice to her. That's all I got. Wow.
    Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]
    Psh! Like he's going to allow her to have a phone.

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  • Blueyed228Blueyed228 member
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    I love how 3-5 pet peeves mentioned in yesterdays thread just happened here.
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  • I'm sorry you went through that.  It's weird that your friend didn't recognize him and then once you did, that she continued to believe him.  Did Katie know you and Kimberly when you were with Nathan?  Is there another mutual friend that she will talk to?  Somebody needs to be there to help her.  Maybe try to go to her work and leave a note there so that he can't intercept it and let her know that you will always be there if she needs help.  In my experience, and I've had this one and some crazy other ones with my friends, if she feels like she doesn't have anybody, he'll wear her down, break her down, and she'll feel like he's the only one who cares.  And because of that, she becomes weaker and weaker.  If there is a mutual friend, maybe that friend and Katie can take up kick boxing or something that will get her physical strength but do it in a roundabout way so Katie doesn't catch on as to why ... That is, if Nathan or "Lee" lets her out.  I don't know about NC because I've only been there once but down here, there are some crazy, crazy guys out there.  And "cew515" - I hope you two know each other for you to call her a drama magnet and that's some inside joke between the 2 of you.  Because a guy is crazy, does not make it MissDuke's fault nor does it make her a drama magnet.  I have one friend who has moved to 3 states and changed names twice and still, a guy follows her.  It's not her fault. 
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  • Yeah, I'd cut your losses on that one. Seriously.

    I have a permanent restraining order on my ex (That was actually the bargain I got from his attorney when they realized I probably could have gotten him put in jail). If a friend of mine started dating him and then accused me of lying about what he did to me when we were together, I'd drop her and not think twice about it. Seriously, a real friend would know me well enough to know I wouldn't make up something so serious just for sh!ts and giggles.


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  • I agree with Jaci, it would be awesome if you could somehow let her know you could be there for her if she ever needed it. This is sadly one of those cases where you don't want to be proven right.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_girls-just-dont-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b59fc671-3cf3-41d3-9085-cfb4c32d2306Post:9b2a16d2-8c46-44c7-81e2-e54b1873bf63">Re: Some girls just don't get it. Vent.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would just anonymously send her a copy of the newspaper article with his picture in it where he's pleading guilty.  And have him explain why he'd plead guilty to "false charges" that would allow him to spend FIVE YEARS in jail. 
    Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

    This x100.
  • I would simply be worried that he now knows where you live. If he blames you for his prison stint he might want to retaliate.
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  • ::sniffs::

    Anyone smell that?
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  • Yup.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_girls-just-dont-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b59fc671-3cf3-41d3-9085-cfb4c32d2306Post:4244a335-00ee-4ace-9bae-d77ae63016a6">Some girls just don't get it. Vent.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Back Story: I dated this guy Nathan a while back. He was crazy. I mean literally crazy. He wouldn't let me out of his closet one time for like 3 hours. My best friend was with me the whole time. He had a gun, and was threatening to kill me if I ran,  himself if I didn't stay with him, and Kimberly if she tried to call anyone. I told him I loved him and would never leave him. Hey, it got me out of the closet and out of his house. I would have told him anything. After I left his house I went straight to the sherriff's office and filed charges on him. <strong>He pled guilty to kidnapping and a few <u><em>other</em></u> misdemeanors.</strong>  He never went to trial. He spent 5 years in jail. I still to this day have a restraining order on him. Flash forward to Saturday: My friend Katie call's telling me how excited she is about this new guy she's dating. She asked if she could bring him to the house. His name's Lee Morrision. I said ok, we set up a dinner date and they come over. Guess who "Lee" is. Nathan. He's no longer going by Nathan because people remember his name from the paper. I told her he had to go. "Lee" was not welcome in my house. They left and nothing else was said that night. She called me yesterday, and informs me that she will no longer be associating with me because I filed false charges against "Lee". Seriously? He pled guilty to "false charges"? I didn't argue with her or even try to explain what happened. He's obviously already filled her head with enough lies about what happened that no matter what I say it's a lie. Vent over.
    Posted by MissDuke2012[/QUOTE]

    You're not trying to say that his kidnapping charge was a misdemeanor, are you?  Because kidnapping is a felony is almost every jurisdiction in the US. 

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_girls-just-dont-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b59fc671-3cf3-41d3-9085-cfb4c32d2306Post:6ddc78e7-bcb7-4980-9a4b-03f01d4e0e74">Re: Some girls just don't get it. Vent.</a>:
    [QUOTE]::sniffs:: Anyone smell that?
    Posted by marriedfilingjointly[/QUOTE]

    It smells like donkey butt to me. =P
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_girls-just-dont-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b59fc671-3cf3-41d3-9085-cfb4c32d2306Post:babdf8a2-f399-4ec4-9cba-be72dca7d122">Re: Some girls just don't get it. Vent.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Some girls just don't get it. Vent. : You're not trying to say that his kidnapping charge was a misdemeanor, are you?  Because kidnapping is a felony is almost every jurisdiction in the US. 
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    Yup. 
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  • So, my BFF has a restraining order against her ex. And we were talking about this. If you tell your new girlfriend, "Oh, yeah, I have this crazy psycho ex who has a restraining order against me. Because she's crazy. I didn't do anything wrong." HOLY red flag. They don't just hand out restraining orders to innocent people, sorry.
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  • Okay. I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks this is just way too much.
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