Snarky Brides

This lovely little nugget in the paper this morning:

BUMFUCK, N.D. - The owner of a dog that was reportedly found dead and emaciated in an unoccupied BF apartment now faces a criminal charge of abandoning an animal.


A property manager, who was checking to see if the apartment had been vacated, discovered the body of Lyric, a 5-year-old female Pekingese, on Sept. 8, authorities said.


Police said the deceased dog appeared malnourished; there was no food or water available; and there were feces throughout the unit at *address*.


Two veterinarians who examined Lyric could not say for certain how she died, but the vets told police a dog like her, when living, should weigh 15 to 20 pounds. Police said her corpse weighed 6 pounds.


An arrest warrant was issued Thursday for Lyric’s 24-year-old owner, *DOUCHE LORD*. No phone number was listed for *DOUCHE LORD*. On Monday, the BF County clerk of court’s office did not know if he had an attorney.


According to a police affidavit, *DOUCHE* was renting the apartment where Lyric’s body was found. He sent an e-mail to the property management company on Sept. 1, saying he was in Minneapolis and would be in BF later this month to clean out his stuff, the affidavit says.


During the investigation into Lyric’s death, *DOUCHE* told an officer over the phone that he had been in Minneapolis for more than a month and that he had thought a friend was caring for his dog. *DOUCHE* would not tell the officer the name of that friend, the affidavit states.


Neighbors told police they had not seen *DOUCHE* in over a month and had heard Lyric whimpering about two to three weeks ago but presumed someone was caring for her, the affidavit says.


Abandoning an animal is a misdemeanor with a maximum penalty of a year behind bars and a $2,000 fine.


*names and locations have changed to protect the asshole*



Re: This lovely little nugget in the paper this morning:

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    You missed one name after the first "douche lord". 

    That's crazy, and so sad.
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    Sorry if I'm making people sad :( It just really pisses me off.  I cannot fathom how some people obviously have absolutely no compassionate bone in their body.  No heart at all.  Sickening.
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    Ah god, that makes me sick to my stomach.  There are no words that would correctly describe a person like that....although douche lord is close...
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    Douche lord indeed.
    We'll just not tell H about this little fact, m'kay?
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    I would like to think that there was some gross miscommunication between the owner and the people he asked to take care of the dog while he was away.  Because I'd like to think nice things about humanity.
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    That poor puppy.  There is just no excuse for this.  I think the jail employees should forget to feed the douchelord for about a month so he knows what it feels like to starve to death. 
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    And he is a freaking liar. Who leaves their dog for a month "with someone to take care of it" and doesn't speak to them for that whole month? I would be calling or texting at least twice a week to make sure everything is ok.

    I hope he goes to jail for a year...and they don't feed him or let him use the restroom like he did to that poor puppy.

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    I'm not an animal person, I don't have pets, and don't usually get on my soapbox for animals.

    But this person should be locked up in an apartment under the same conditions for a month.  Or atleast get the maximum sentence. (1yr, 2K)
    That's just cruelty, and being irresponsible and heartless.
    Seriously?  You didn't call your friend in a month to make sure he/she was checking on your dog? Bullsh*t. Bullllllllsh*t!

    The sad thing is, I bet you Lord Douche will get off with unsupervised probation and a few hours of community service.  And maybe be banned from adopting a shelter dog.  Atleast that's what would happen here.
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    I call or text people at least once a day if they are taking care of Whisky. I'd have a panic attack if I went any longer than that. I hope this guy really gets what's coming to him.
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    Wow this just made me cry.  I think the owner should be locked in a room and starved to death.
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    this just made me tear up in class. i f*cking hate people. HOW CAN YOU HURT A DEFENSELESS ANIMAL!

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    What gets me about people who do things like this to animals is why did they GET an animal? Why? I can only think they got an animal because they are sadistic fvcks and enjoy it. 

    Also, what about the dipsticks who 'assumed' somewas was taking care of the dog? You hear whining like that all hours of the day and night-no one is taking care of the dog!

    Oh, and this for the folks who are all about setting up a "people are more important than animals" kind of mindset: Humans who do stuff like this to non humans ARE dangerous to humans! There are YEARS of research to prove that abuse and neglect towards animals translates, eventually, into  abuse and neglect of humans. Maybe this guy will not go on to beat his kids and starve his baby/grandma to death, but plenty of people like him DO. The law really needs to take crimes against animals far more seriously.
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    Lots of serial killers kill animals first so yeah, that's an interesting point Lenore.

    I wouldn't want to associate with anyone who treated animals this way.

    This kid I went to high school with got in trouble a few years ago for this same thing - except with his dog, he didn't leave it or abandon it.  They just had it in their apartment and never fed it.

    Like, how sick and twisted are you that you can sit and eat dinner and not give your pet anything to eat?  Or be able to live somewhere where you're literally watching something slowly die, day by day?

    THAT is a suck fuuck.

    I have no idea why people like that get pets.  Not everyone is a pet person - great.  But jeez - if you can't take care of an animal then you have no business owning one.
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    Ugh. Gross. That's all I can say.
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    AATB this is a sad way to start the day.  :(

    Now I must read more forum threads to cheer myself up.
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    I'm so sad. I'm going to go cuddle with my HowieBear now.
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    Now why'd you have to go and remove his name and address. There are plenty of ways for him to be punished without spending tax-payer money.
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    In Response to <a href="">Re: This lovely little nugget in the paper this morning:</a>:
    [QUOTE]Now why'd you have to go and remove his name and address. There are plenty of ways for him to be punished without spending tax-payer money.
    Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

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