Snarky Brides
Options

MOH driving me nuts

Let me know if I am being snarky or crazy I can take it.  My cousin is my matron of honor, let me just start out by saying I love her to death.  I was also her maid of honor.  I have been engaged for a year and a half and my cousin has shown that she is excited and cares about my wedding by asking me questions and talking about the wedding.  However she rude responses to my plans.  For instance she asked what kind of flowers I was using, I said roses, and she said "how original".  She asked what the color of the bridesmaid dresses are going to be (my colors are blue and orange) I said probably blue but I havn't decided yet, and her response was "as long as they are not orange".  She put me in a hideous puke green dress and she has a problem with orange?  She has also asked me at least 10 if not more times about the bridesmaid dresses through text messages or at family functions.  I understand that she cares about what she is wearing but it almost seems as if that is all she cares about and I am getting so sick of answering the same questions over and over and over again. It is almost like she thinks if she keeps asking me about the dresses I will change the dresses.  Also to tell you about the dresses I like B2 dresses, I am letting all the girls pick their own style, I just want them to be the poly chiffron material so they all match and the color cobalt blue.  I want all the girls in short dresses but my marton of honor if more comfortable in a longer dress so I told her she could be special and have a longer dress. I honestly think she is probably just self conscious because I have 3 other girls that are skinny as rails and she is over weight.  I understand that and that is why I am letting them all pick out their own style and letting her wear a longer dress, but I just wish she would quit asking me about the dresses.  I still have a year to go and her and one of my bridesmaids are trying to get pregnant so we are not going to be getting bridesmaids dresses any time soon and I don;t know how many more times I can answer the same questions.  Even my fiance thinks it is getting ridiculous and he is the most laid back person I have ever met.  I didn't even respond to her last text about the dresses just cause I feel like it is never going to end.  Alright I am done now tell me how rediculous I am being and how I should be happy she cares so much.  Thanks ladies! 

Re: MOH driving me nuts

  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_moh-driving-nuts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b727bb2c-94fc-43a2-98d6-02ae729e37f6Post:d2f93e9c-a8c1-4a59-980d-98fc64a067cc">MOH driving me nuts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Let me know if I am being snarky or crazy I can take it.  My cousin is my matron of honor, let me just start out by saying I love her to death.  I was also her maid of honor.  I have been engaged for a year and a half and my cousin has shown that she is excited and cares about my wedding by asking me questions and talking about the wedding.  However she rude responses to my plans.  For instance she asked what kind of flowers I was using, I said roses, and she said "how original".  She asked what the color of the bridesmaid dresses are going to be (my colors are blue and orange) I said probably blue but I havn't decided yet, and her response was "as long as they are not orange".  She put me in a hideous puke green dress and she has a problem with orange?  She has also asked me at least 10 if not more times about the bridesmaid dresses through text messages or at family functions.  I understand that she cares about what she is wearing but it almost seems as if that is all she cares about and I am getting so sick of answering the same questions over and over and over again. It is almost like she thinks if she keeps asking me about the dresses I will change the dresses.  Also to tell you about the dresses I like B2 dresses, I am letting all the girls pick their own style, I just want them to be the poly chiffron material so they all match and the color cobalt blue.  I want all the girls in short dresses but my marton of honor if more comfortable in a longer dress so I told her she could be special and have a longer dress. I honestly think she is probably just self conscious because I have 3 other girls that are skinny as rails and she is over weight.  I understand that and that is why I am letting them all pick out their own style and letting her wear a longer dress, but I just wish she would quit asking me about the dresses.  I still have a year to go and her and one of my bridesmaids are trying to get pregnant so we are not going to be getting bridesmaids dresses any time soon and I don;t know how many more times I can answer the same questions.  Even my fiance thinks it is getting ridiculous and he is the most laid back person I have ever met.  I didn't even respond to her last text about the dresses just cause I feel like it is never going to end.  Alright I am done now tell me how rediculous I am being and how I should be happy she cares so much.  Thanks ladies!  
    Posted by alinkchicka[/QUOTE]

    I'm confused.  According to you all she cares about in regards to the dress is that it is not orange.  Why don't you just respond to her text with "I haven't yet decided on the dresses and will let you know when I have."?

    You said she showed she was interested in your wedding (you said you can tell because she asks about it), but then you turn around and say all she cares about are the dresses.  These are conflicting statements.  Also, if all she cared about was the dress, why would she have asked about your flowers?

    I'm not sure why you had to say she was overweight in your post.  This is completely irrelevant to your point, and really just makes it seem like you're trying to get a dig in at her.

    If you don't like her responses to your wedding planning ideas, stop talking to her about the planning.  This is not rocket surgery.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
    image
    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • Options
    Paragraphs?  Coles notes?

    From what I can gather, you need to stop talking wedding with this person, and then you won't get all hurt about the negative comments.

    If you love this person to death, as you stated, then just respect their wishes in regards to dress style, and don't expect too much otherwise.

    To answer your question in line 1 of your post, I don't think you're being crazy, I think you're expecting too much.
  • Options
    Jackie- I swear I did my damnedest to write cliff notes for this mess, but it's one big ball of contradictions.  I confused myself and then gave up.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
    image
    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • Options
    edited May 2010
    Bethrothed--I tried in my own head, but I`ve had 3 glasses of sauvignon blanc.  I kind of read your post and then paraphrased.  I`m a plagarist, I admit.  You`re right though, I`m sure of it.  Yep, thats the story I`m sticking to.

    ETA:  OP--Actually, I`m also not sure why you had to put this persons weight status into the OP.  I might be over-sensitive, but I`m not sure it was necessary.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_moh-driving-nuts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b727bb2c-94fc-43a2-98d6-02ae729e37f6Post:be162a35-cddd-4e9b-bbf4-4b4bfac92440">Re: MOH driving me nuts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Paragraphs?  Coles notes?
    Posted by deepcovejackie[/QUOTE]

    What are "Coles notes"?

    Does Cliff have an evil cousin?
  • Options
    Oh, right.  I'm Canadian eh?  Coles=Cliff notes.  Coles notes is more common in Canada.  I seem to be pleading the "Canadian" excuse alot tonight!
  • Options
    Huh.  I did not know that, Jackie!

    Learn something new every day.
  • Options
    Coles is a book store in Canada that sells abridged versions of almost anything.  At least when I was in school.  Don't know if that still happens.
  • Options
    OP - your wedding is still far, far away.  Ditto betrothed, just tell her you haven't made a dress decision yet but she'll be the first to know once you do.

    FWIW, my wedding is in 4+ months and I haven't even gone dress shopping with my girls yet.  Tell MOH to just cool her heels.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_moh-driving-nuts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b727bb2c-94fc-43a2-98d6-02ae729e37f6Post:d2f93e9c-a8c1-4a59-980d-98fc64a067cc">MOH driving me nuts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Let me know if I am being snarky or crazy I can take it. 

    My cousin is my matron of honor, let me just start out by saying I love her to death.  I was also her maid of honor.  I have been engaged for a year and a half and my cousin has shown that she is excited and cares about my wedding by asking me questions and talking about the wedding.

    However she rude responses to my plans.  For instance she asked what kind of flowers I was using, I said roses, and she said "how original".  She asked what the color of the bridesmaid dresses are going to be (my colors are blue and orange) I said probably blue but I havn't decided yet, and her response was "as long as they are not orange".  She put me in a hideous puke green dress and she has a problem with orange?  She has also asked me at least 10 if not more times about the bridesmaid dresses through text messages or at family functions.  I understand that she cares about what she is wearing but it almost seems as if that is all she cares about and I am getting so sick of answering the same questions over and over and over again. It is almost like she thinks if she keeps asking me about the dresses I will change the dresses. 

    Also to tell you about the dresses I like B2 dresses, I am letting all the girls pick their own style, I just want them to be the poly chiffron material so they all match and the color cobalt blue.  I want all the girls in short dresses but my marton of honor if more comfortable in a longer dress so I told her she could be special and have a longer dress. I honestly think she is probably just self conscious because I have 3 other girls that are skinny as rails and she is over weight.  I understand that and that is why I am letting them all pick out their own style and letting her wear a longer dress, but I just wish she would quit asking me about the dresses.

     I still have a year to go and her and one of my bridesmaids are trying to get pregnant so we are not going to be getting bridesmaids dresses any time soon and I don;t know how many more times I can answer the same questions.  Even my fiance thinks it is getting ridiculous and he is the most laid back person I have ever met.  I didn't even respond to her last text about the dresses just cause I feel like it is never going to end.

     Alright I am done now tell me how rediculous I am being and how I should be happy she cares so much.  Thanks ladies!  
    Posted by alinkchicka[/QUOTE]
    Ahh I tried to make that more readable (sorry OP but it is so hard to read a big wall of text like that).
    So, you say you already decided on what you like for BM dresses so what more could she be asking?
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_moh-driving-nuts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b727bb2c-94fc-43a2-98d6-02ae729e37f6Post:0b4040e5-976f-4c4a-84fd-768f55b7ed04">Re: MOH driving me nuts</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH driving me nuts : What are "Coles notes"? Does Cliff have an evil cousin?
    Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

    <div>i dunno, but i'm still trying to figure out what rocket surgery is too. </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>to the OP - i'm confused. you claim that all she cares about is the dress and that it's not orange. but you said that you told her the designer and the color and that she can pick whatever she wants. so what is she bothering you about?????? </div>
  • Options

    Sorry it was so messy I should have looked it over before hitting post. here is the short simple version.

    I know she care but I think she only cares about her dress, I have given here the information I posted about about the style I like at least 6 times and I am tired of her asking. I think that is why it is so frustrating to me is she keeps asking me the same thing. 

    Sorry if anyone got the wrong idea I only mentioned her weight because I thought that it might be the reason she is so obsessed with the BM dress.  I was not trying to dig at her.  If anything I was trying to give her a reason for asking about the dresses so much.

    I am also not expecting anything from her.  I do not talk to her about the wedding unless she asks.  She started asking first about flowers, colors and other stuff but now it is only BM dresses.  For about the last year the only wedding thing she talks to me about is her dress. Believe me I do not start conversations about my wedding with her because I don't like her answers.

    Also thank you ladies for saying to just tell her that I have not decided on the dresses yet.  I thought telling her what I was looking at might get her off my back but I think it only made it worse.  So from now on I am just going to say I havn't decided yet.

    nda_roxybabe thank you for making my post easier to read.  Sorry again for the messy post.  Also thank you ladies for the support.

  • Options
    I want to be a rocket surgeon when I grow up.
  • Options
    Sorry, it's just most people eyes glaze over when there's no breaks in the text so while I read it I divided it up. I definitely agree, just tell her you're let her know when it gets closer.
  • Options
    Im confused.  In one pargraph you said you picked out a dress in blue.  Then you said they are picking out their own dresses in the same color, and then you said you are a year out and have not decided on a dress.

    If she is being that much of a PITA then just stop talking wedding plans with her.  Pick out a dress, tell her where to get it, and see her at the wedding.

    If you are in fact giving them a color and material and letting them decided on the style, I think you are being very reasonable.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Options
    I would just talk to her. I'm a big fan of being honest when things are bugging you. Have you asked her why she's so concerned with finding out about the BM dresses? Maybe she has a concern that you haven't thought of. Maybe she just doesn't know that she's driving you crazy.

    And if you don't like her responses to your planning ideas, say something to her. Ask her what the response is all about. Maybe she's just got a smart ass personality and doesn't realize that it hurts you. Letting things fester without confronting them while they are little issues will cause them to turn into major issues down the road.
  • Options
    Agreeing with Cew, try it the nice and reasonable way first, and if that is not a good discussion just stop talking wedding stuff with her and deal with the dress (in your own good time) and hope all is well the day of the wedding (hopefully you have a good bridesmaid of two if she acts all weird and snippy on your wedding day).

    Having had the Maid of Honor from Hell, a friend of six years standing, I am all about hoping for the best and preparing for the worst on that count.

    I had peach and white roses for my flowers. Maybe not "original" but we loved them.
  • Options
    Thank you so much eveyone!  I think i will try to talk to her about why she is so concerned with the BM dresses.
  • Options
    dont talk to her about the wedding then, and when she asks about the dress, say, you haven't thought about it yet. if you want, have a convo with her about how you feel.

    FSIL whos also one of my BMs is really similar to yours. she "shows" interest and has opinions (im open to that) but her 99% of her opinions are made based on her personal preferences without thinking for me or FI. she made the most ridiculous suggestions by saing that FI should her have 20 year old bf (whom we barely hang out with) as a ring bearer so he can be "part of the wedding." and constantly suggesting purple flowers (our colors are white/black/green) because she loves purple flowers. i stopped talking to her about wedding planning, and try to avoid as many details as possible. but i ended up sending her an email recently telling her that she makes me feel that she's thinking only for herself in those opinion giving... 
  • Options
    20 year old ring bearer lol. Wow! She sounds a little rediculous too!  Good luck! Thanks for the advice!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards