So, I never really do that pampering kind of stuff. It's just usually not on my radar. Before we left for our trip to the beach this weekend, I decided to go get a pedicure. I go in and sit down. Everything is going okay. but I'm super ticklish. Like little kid ticklish, so while she was messing with my yucktastic feet, I had a magazine over my face and was just trying to ignore it.
I feel her start to do some type of scraping thing and I look up and realize she is using one of those razor blade, staph infection type things. Before I could get the words: "What the fuckare you doing with that motherfucking razor thing, you cvnt!?" out of my mouth, she has sliced my fucking heel off. Like the part of the heel where you get blisters. The gaping flesh wound starts to bleed and bleed and bleed.
I ask her for a band aid and she just giggles and starts putting some kind of liquid, that I think is battery acid, on my heel to make it stop bleeding. They apparently don't have band aids. Cunts. AND THEN she tells me to put my foot back in the foot brothy shiit. Uh. WHAT? No fucking way, lady. So, I'm sitting there bleeding. Trying to make it stop so that I can leave. While this is going on, she tries to do my other fucking foot with that monstrous instrument of death. OH HELL NO. I told her to use the stone and she tells me "well, you wiggled. If you don't wiggle, you won't get cut". No, assface. If you don't use death blades, I won't get cut.
So, finally my foot stops bleeding. She gets half way through my other foot and I told her that I just wanted to leave. And guess what. THEY STILL MADE ME PAY. WTF? And now I just googled those razor things and I'm pretty sure they are illegal to use. I feel like a total fucking idiot. Assholes.
And also, HI! I miss you bitches.