The Bump?

Lenore2010

I am curious, as I look at posts on The Bump. What would any expectant mom want to be over there? I mean, they sit around and tear each other new ones regarding breastfeeding? There are some odd ducks over there for sure.

No disrespect intended if you are a Bump regular. I am not the best judge anyway, I do not even have kids. I just cannot imagine myself wanting to be on TB is I were pregnant. Maybe I am just a wimp or something.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

No - I've only been there once or twice (on a 'field trip') and that place scares the crap out of me.

I'd much rather talk about my pregnancy with girls I knew who were mothers or expecting in here than over there. 

betrothed123

The Bump is a terrifying place.

baystateapple

Since we're thinking of TTC next summer, I journeyed over there to check it out.  Most of the ladies (and I use that term loosely) seem pretty heinous.  I'd rather stick it out here.

future-mrs

I've not ventured over there but based on posts like this, I'll keep my distance thanks. 

jasmineh7777

I sincerely hope they teach their children more empathy and kindness than they themselves display.

raynes

I usually only read the threads that get posted on TIP on TN as being prime examples of TIP.  Reading about how stupid and incosiderate some people's H's are just makes me appreciate how awesome mine is even more.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bump?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:bf76ff74-e4f5-44cf-adb7-6af8f603af2aPost:dc2354e3-23d4-4eb2-9012-48d86fcb7e53">Re: The Bump?</a>:
[QUOTE]I sincerely hope they teach their children more empathy and kindness than they themselves display.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]
How can you teach something you yourself don't possess?  I fear for our future.

SarahPLiz

i have a friend who is a sane bumpie, but she says that most of the boards are ridiculous. I think she sticks to her local board on TB and TN. I have no desire to venture to either of them. I am the last of my IRL friends to reproduce, so I'm pretty sure I can get enough advice out of them. 

Lenore2010

I am glad I am not the only one who went over there (1st time today) and was startled by the nastiness. They make the Nesters look like lovebugs and us look like-I don't even know, but something sweeter than two cups of sugar.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

What is it about the Bump that makes women go crazy?

Or is it that only crazies are attracted and stay on those boards?

...Am I being a bitch for lumping them all together?  I'm sure there are nice Bumpies.

Or is there something about being pregnant that makes people go absolutely off their nuts?  Maybe it's the hormones.   I mean really.

SarahPLiz

I just don't understand the need to be competitive with people about who is the best mother. no one way is right for every person. If it was, we'd all be the same and that would be boring. 

LesPaul

The Bump is a scary, scary place.  Way worse than the Nest, and there are boards I am scared to post on over there.  Even if I were TTC, I wouldn't go near the Bump.

staceytaylor0704

Yea, if I ever do get pregnant, you better believe I won't be over there. There are some hateful people in TB.

Lenore2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bump?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:bf76ff74-e4f5-44cf-adb7-6af8f603af2aPost:38db3816-85ef-4647-9253-fe5f80d8d3c3">Re: The Bump?</a>:
[QUOTE]I<strong> just don't understand the need to be competitive with people about who is the best mother.</strong> no one way is right for every person. If it was, we'd all be the same and that would be boring. 
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

No, I never did either but damned if you do not see them all the time. I watched some girls that i thought were pretty nice people go very self rightous, mom of the year with other moms when they had kids. Oh, and those us without kids were deemed clueless about pretty much everything by those same girls as soon as they became moms.

It seems to be an attitude that blissfully few women have, but even thinking about it brings up scary memories of people I knew in my 20's and 30's. My own neice seemed to be heading in that direction, too until my SIL told her to get the bleep over herself. She was mad at first but took heart. My neice was on the Bump. Cooincidence? you be the judge.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

The only thing scarier than the Bump is The Bump Post Secret.  Holy... eff... and that's just scratching the surface.

Nattie24

it would be fun one day to respond to some of these crazy moms... 

AdeleDazeem

Babies have a way of bringing out the weird in people.

"Well, *my* baby has a cart cover.  I would never expose her to the germs of the outside world."

"Well, *my* baby will be exposed to the germs of the outside work so *my* baby will have a better immune system that *your* baby."

Me oh my.

EDIT: for my poor spelling... geez.

Lenore2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bump?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:bf76ff74-e4f5-44cf-adb7-6af8f603af2aPost:4b0a875a-a349-48e9-ac2a-80fe44573398">Re: The Bump?</a>:
[QUOTE]Babies have a way of bringing out the weird in people. "Well, *my* baby has a cart cover.  I would never expost her to the germs of the outside world." "Well, *my* baby will be exposed to the germs of the outside work so *my* baby will have a better immunate system that *your* baby." Me oh my.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

I had someone do that to me about my dog. I mentioned taking her to the groomer and this woman looks at me and says "WE do all of our own grooming and use all natural products". Like I am going to sit and argue with her about my care of one of the most loved dogs in the world?!

If I had had a kid, and someone did that to me I might have become violent so I think the no-kids choice was good for me!

Now, with that weird thought about the dog in my head I am off to an early lunch!

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bump?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:bf76ff74-e4f5-44cf-adb7-6af8f603af2aPost:4b0a875a-a349-48e9-ac2a-80fe44573398">Re: The Bump?</a>:
[QUOTE]Babies have a way of bringing out the weird in people. "Well, *my* baby has a cart cover.  I would never expose her to the germs of the outside world." "Well, *my* baby will be exposed to the germs of the outside work so *my* baby will have a better immune system that *your* baby." Me oh my. EDIT: for my poor spelling... geez.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>See, I don't need that in order to raise a child. I go by my grandmother's old adage, " a little dirt never hurt anybody", which is how I was raised. If someone else wants to do it differently, that's up to them. I have plenty of family and friends to draw wisdom from. Internet strangers fall to about #1000000 on the list of who I'd go to for child rearing advice. </div>

AllAboutTheBenjamin

People do get really weird about babies and pets!  It's so strange.  I mean the only reason I would think you're a bad parent or pet parent is if you're beating, abusing, or starving your kid/pet.  There are so many different ways of doing things that work fine for some people and differently for others.  The whole "I'm a better mother than you" thing drives me a up a wall, and I'm not even close to being a mother yet.

kpwedkk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bump?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:bf76ff74-e4f5-44cf-adb7-6af8f603af2aPost:4b0a875a-a349-48e9-ac2a-80fe44573398">Re: The Bump?</a>:
[QUOTE]Babies have a way of bringing out the weird in people. "Well, *my* baby has a cart cover.  I would never expose her to the germs of the outside world." "Well, *my* baby will be exposed to the germs of the outside work so *my* baby will have a better immune system that *your* baby." Me oh my. EDIT: for my poor spelling... geez.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

This.  It makes you want to roll your eyes clockwise and counterclockwise at the same time!

jasmineh7777

My baby will be able to do my taxes. It better bring something to the table if it's going to live in my uterus.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bump?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:bf76ff74-e4f5-44cf-adb7-6af8f603af2aPost:643760ca-5a18-45fe-a2d4-1b9ac3d1d3e1">Re: The Bump?</a>:
[QUOTE]My baby will be able to do my taxes. It better bring something to the table if it's going to live in my uterus.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

<div>My dad always said he had us so that one day he wouldn't have to do the dishes or cut the grass. </div>

rhodesign

omg those are some crazy biitches over there. I work with babies and see parents like that all. the. time. It drives me insane and I almost don't want to have a kid if it means they grow up around people like that. Sheesh.

And cart covers? really? I have never, ever seen or heard of such a thing. Most kids I see at the grocery store are happily 'steering' their cart "car" attachment while the parent shops. And yes, a little dirt or germ exposure is good for building immunity. Sanitizing everything is why we have super-bugs now. And I'm sorry, but breastfeeding is not magic. Yes it's best, but it won't guarantee your kid will never be sick, get ear infections or will be a genius.

Okay I'm getting off track. yes they are nuts and I'm never, ever going over there for parenting advice.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bump?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:bf76ff74-e4f5-44cf-adb7-6af8f603af2aPost:f2928f16-3b7e-4d65-892f-4a243d3e5e8a">Re: The Bump?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The Bump? : My dad always said he had us so that one day he wouldn't have to do the dishes or cut the grass. 
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]
My aunt says the best part about having given birth to my cousins is that once they turned 16 she had a built in DD ;)

katiewhompus

TB scares me, I stick to Babyhopes but sometimes lurk. GP board annoyed me because it was either everyone posting their chart going "Did I ovulate!!!???" or people getting pregnant the first cycle because "ZOMG God loves me"

The T-ttc board does seem to be very nice though, so I may start posting there instead of just lurking. I will probably lurk on a trimester board when the time comes just to get an idea of what's going on.

This is why I'm so happy people here are starting to move into the ttc/pregnancy phase of their lives. I can talk to sane people about it and not worry about getting blasted if I ask a stupid question.

PharmacyBride

I think that is really sad.. a few biitches ruined what should have been a great website.  I can't imagine how many questions I will have as a new mom.. and sure it is good to ask my mom and his mom.. but sometimes you want to ask someone currently going through it or someone your age/generation.

What happened... it started turning mean so all the nice people left and all that is left are the mean kids?!  Maybe now there is such a high tolerance for mean girls that they don't feel like they should hold back.

Hmm... maybe TK will just make a new board called "bumps" for us to go there when we get our little ones

Lenore2010

I may be off track here, but I wonder if it does not have something to do with how children are being raised now. There are so many "musts" to keep kids safe, so many "musts" to get them well educated, oh and lots ants of "musts" about what they should and should not eat, how often they need to see Doctors... Please, lets not even go into their whole mental health and development.

I wonder if this is leady to lots of nervous-scared-angry-bitchy moms all around.

I think about how when i was a child, born in 1965 all of the following happened while I grew up with my mom, the nurse and everyone thought it was good fine and normal:

1. No car seats. no one used car seats then. Most adults did not even wear seatbelts in the 70's.
2.Mom smoked in house and car with us until she quit in 1978.
3. Mom never considered breastfeeding.
4. No playground had soft rounded edges, you fell on stuff and got hurt.
5. You had maybe 6 or 7 shots before age 6 or 8, after that you had none.
6. No one thought there was anything wrong with having a drink in front of a child, as long as they were not getting drunk.
7. We went to the McDonalds drivethrough maybe once or twice a month. Hardly any kids were fat.
8. Virtually all kids played without supervision in their own backyards.
9. Very few kids were on meds for disorders like ADHD.
10. Kids were pretty much expected to do what they were told, not argue, not interupt adults, and got in trouble fast if they screamed in public places or whined and were over about age three.

Now, I am not saying that all of this was good. A lot of it obviously was NOT good. Plenty of people born the same year I was would not have asthma if there parents had not smoked like stacks. Or even sader would be alive today if they had been in a car seat.

However, I as a non mom and no authority on anything have to wonder if stuff like the Bump is a symptom of moms and moms-to-be driven insane by all the anxiety and expectations that are stuck on them. Just a thought. I am no mom, what the bleep do I know?

katiewhompus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bump?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:bf76ff74-e4f5-44cf-adb7-6af8f603af2aPost:071f8dfb-a1e5-4126-b73d-af6abb0069ab">Re: The Bump?</a>:
[QUOTE]. However, I as a non mom and no authority on anything have to wonder if stuff like the Bump is a symptom of moms and moms-to-be driven insane by all the anxiety and expectations that are stuck on them. Just a thought. I am no mom, what the bleep do I know?
Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]

According to TB, nothing, because obviously people without kids have no experience or knowledge relating to kids. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />

I do agree with what you are saying though. I think because we put ourselves out there more through emails, FB, TB, whatever it's also easier to feel judged. If you let your kid eat dirt and they got sick you are labeled "a bad parent" even if it was nothing. That and you are bringing a lot of opinionated people together into a group. Before the mighty interwebs if you breastfed you probably mainly talked to other people about breastfeeding who were like minded, same thing with formula feeding. Doctors told you it was ok either way because ultimately, neither is going to kill the kid.
Now we have big groups of not-like minded people which can be great (like here) and can be disastrous like the bump. I think being a parent is also incredibly hard and a very emotional thing. If someone tells you you are a bad Republican most people are like, eh, ok whatever. If you are told you are a bad parent you will have a much stronger reaction.

AdeleDazeem

I have a similar mentality, Lenore.

I mean, my mom put me in shopping carts without a cover and, lo and behold, I'm totally okay!  I tend to roll my eyes when my friends have video cameras in their baby's rooms or freak when someone puts their child on the floor without a blanket.

I just wish people would relax a little. 

My good friend has an 11 month old.  She needed a new carseat because her son had outgrown the old one.  It is recommended to not put a child in a forward facing carseat until 12 months old.  She didn't want to have to buy two carseats or a convertible one since they are so expensive so they just bought the forward facing one. 

She feels tremendous guilt for doing this even though logically it made the most sense.  She feels guilty because of some wording on a package.  All these recommendations and tips for a healthy child must make you go bananas.  I don't see how it couldn't.