Am I Being a Bridezilla?

christi.mayo

Long story short - FI's friends are planning his bachelor party for Vegas (we live in Chicago). I'm totally fine with this, but they wanted to plan it for the weekend before the wedding (8, 7, and 6 days before our ceremony).

I requested that, if they hadn't made travel arrangements yet, to plan it for at least two weeks before the wedding. Knowing his friends, and their affinity for getting into a lot of trouble when partying, I would just feel more comfortable with this.

Is this unreasonable? I know the bride is supposed to have no part in the bachelor party whatsoever, but FI asked me if those dates were okay and I gave him my honest opinion.

Leenie10

I don't think it is unreasonable. We had a lot of stuff to finish the weekend before the wedding and if you do too, you may want your FI's (local) support on those days.

cwaggoner07

Yeah, I would NOT have been happy to have H gone the weekend prior to the wedding. We had stuff to finish up, espepecially since a lot of our family came into town on Wednesday. We didn't really have anything planned 3 weeks before the wedding just due to little stuff popping up, which it did. And he helped more than he probably thought he would.

mpickl

I agree with Leenie. I'm also requiring the bachelor party to be further out from the wedding. Not a bridezilla moment, IMO, just your preference. 

lls31

IMO, the person planning the bachelor party should consult the couple regarding dates before planning anything.  

When H's BM started to plan his bachelor party, I found out from my dad that the party was going to be during H's 30th birthday weekend - which I had already made plans for us for.  I was pretty irritated at first.  But I mentioned something about it and he ended up changing it to another weekend.

brittany634

I don't think you're being unreasonable- my H's bacholor party was the 2 days before our wedding due to when wedding party was coming in, so I guess it's just personal preference.

Marrin713

Yep, I'd be a little bothered by that as well.  I think xH didn't come home for 3 days after his bachelor party and he stayed local.

This husband's party was very tame.  It was a 25 year old (his son) hosting some old men (H and his friends) at the Tilted Kilt the night before the wedding.

lyndsay782

I told my fiancee I need his help the night before the wedding.  He was still under the impression that all bachelor parties are the night before the wedding. 

His mother and I set that one straight. I told him he could have it the week before the wedding.  

B2Z728

As long as people haven't booked rooms or flights, I don't think it's unreasonable to request that it is not the weekend before. 

My only request for H's bachelor party was that it wasn't the night before the wedding. Many of the guys attending, including most of his groomsmen where from out of town, so they wanted to only have fly in once or drive a distance for the wedding weekend. They ended up having it 2 days before the wedding on a Thursday night. My bachelorette party was the same night, so it worked out well. 

KSerafin17

I also would be a bit annoyed if FI planned his Bach Party the weekend before the wedding. I agree with PP that it is not a bridezilla moment to request that he rethink this date as an option. Hopefully he is willing to change this weekend for you!

J&K10910

Whether it's the weekend before the wedding or three weekends before, you're still losing his help for a weekend at some point before the wedding.

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask them to consider changing it (or rather, have your FI ask them), but if they can't/won't, I don't think it's the end of the world.  You just might have to plan a bit better to get some stuff done earlier.  Is there really THAT much that absolutely must be done the weekend before the wedding?

mcda04

I wouldn't mind.

Instead of completing your wedding tasks one week before, finish two weeks before the wedding. It will give you some peace of mind to just sit and relax or have some girl time while he's out with his friends.

I went out with a few friends 8 days before our wedding and it was so much fun. Everything was almost done and if it wasn't; I just nixed it. (My programs were supposed to be printed a week before and since H forgot and I didn't have time; I didn't have any.)

acaponi87

You're not unreasonable but just keep in mind that they might have booked that weekend for any million numbers of reasons: work schedules, regular schedules, flight and/or hotel costs etc.

My H's bachelor party ended up being the weekend before our wedding. Was I thrilled? No, but everything worked out fine.

I don't think this worth "putting your foot down".

[Deleted User]

Your request makes sense. This is what I would ask for as well. 

B2Z728

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-i-being-a-bridezilla-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c5d8dd5f-03ab-4527-bb34-2c914ecde0c8Post:14299df7-b55a-4e0e-b7e3-15b37b980a15">Re: Am I Being a Bridezilla?</a>:
[QUOTE]Whether it's the weekend before the wedding or three weekends before, you're still losing his help for a weekend at some point before the wedding. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask them to consider changing it (or rather, have your FI ask them), but if they can't/won't, I don't think it's the end of the world.  You just might have to plan a bit better to get some stuff done earlier.  Is there really THAT much that absolutely must be done the weekend before the wedding?
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

<div>Also agree. Honestly, I wasn't doing all that much the weekend before except putting together table numbers and cutting menus, which I did myself without H's help. I was a procrastinator and brought some of this upon myself too. If you plan ahead, you can just relax the weekend before and go out with your girl friends while he's away. </div>