Is it rude to tell guests not to bring gifts?

Pickypeg

We really don't want our guests to bring gifts, we don't need them and really feel that the gift is their presence at our celebration.  Would it be rude to write something about no gifts on the response card?  Is there a better way to address this?

MeaghanandMichael

I have seen a few 'no gifts please' invites and it doesn't bother me. However, you are technically never supposed to assume gifts,  so I would just leave it off. I know you are assuming no gifts, so it is not like you are bad or something, but to mention the possibility just rubs people the wrong way. I would spread the thought by word of mouth and people will understand.
Plus, I know that many people enjoy giving gifts to the couple as they start off their life together so I would not ebgrudge them that.

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-tell-guests-not-bring-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c676d365-1fc0-46f5-8b8c-ff65d5d36087Post:36a9228a-2e9b-42f6-912e-ca6d52cc5194">Re: Is it rude to tell guests not to bring gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have seen a few 'no gifts please' invites and it doesn't bother me. However, you are technically never supposed to assume gifts,  so I would just leave it off. I know you are assuming no gifts, so it is not like you are bad or something, but to mention the possibility just rubs people the wrong way. I would spread the thought by word of mouth and people will understand. Plus, I know that many people enjoy giving gifts to the couple as they start off their life together so I would not ebgrudge them that.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. I wouldn't explicitly mention anything about it on the invites, response cards, etc. Rather, just don't register and try to spread it word of mouth.

beatlesgirl25

Threatening people with violence always helps to get your point across too. Just kidding, ditto Meg and Shannon.

Pickypeg

Thank you Meaghan!  

MeaghanandMichael

No problem And ditto the gorgeous bride, Shannon. Just don't register either. But be prepared for some weirdo gifts No registires some how seem to equal people thinking a lime green toastert and matching statues of the virgin mary is acceptable!

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-tell-guests-not-bring-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c676d365-1fc0-46f5-8b8c-ff65d5d36087Post:42a4f740-48e4-4d18-851f-fbc0d2d7764c">Re: Is it rude to tell guests not to bring gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Threatening people with violence always helps to get your point across too</strong>. Just kidding, ditto Meg and Shannon.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

You know, it actually didn't work for us. We added a phrase to our invites letting parents know that any children who showed up at our wedding would be stopped at the door and re-routed through a complex series of tunnels, passages and hallways to find themselves in a small room where beatings would take place between the hours of 3:25-11:30, but alas, we still had kids.

I'm kidding. I love kiddos. But we still beat them on our wedding day for fun. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-tell-guests-not-bring-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c676d365-1fc0-46f5-8b8c-ff65d5d36087Post:1d298cb1-d06f-41cf-9cdd-1f558ae05c16">Re: Is it rude to tell guests not to bring gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]No problem :) <strong>And ditto the gorgeous bride, Shannon.</strong> Just don't register either. But be prepared for some weirdo gifts ;) No registires some how seem to equal people thinking a lime green toastert and matching statues of the virgin mary is acceptable!
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

You made my week! Possibly my year! That was so sweet of you. Thank you!! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

MeaghanandMichael

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-tell-guests-not-bring-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c676d365-1fc0-46f5-8b8c-ff65d5d36087Post:864e32b2-f38f-4f01-bc6a-cc32e25d7ac0">Re: Is it rude to tell guests not to bring gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it rude to tell guests not to bring gifts? : You made my week! Possibly my year! That was so sweet of you. Thank you!!
Posted by shannonalise[/QUOTE]

awww don't be silly! You are glowing! Did you AW a thread of wedding pics I missed? I would love to see more.

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-tell-guests-not-bring-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c676d365-1fc0-46f5-8b8c-ff65d5d36087Post:e13709da-1d21-4b72-9cc7-e9806a1a4da5">Re: Is it rude to tell guests not to bring gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it rude to tell guests not to bring gifts? : awww don't be silly! You are glowing! Did you AW a thread of wedding pics I missed? I would love to see more.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

Thank you so much!! We just got married 5/22, so we're still waiting on our pro-pics, but I'll be sure to AW them when I get them. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /> I'm excited! Shouldn't be more than a couple more weeks.

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-tell-guests-not-bring-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c676d365-1fc0-46f5-8b8c-ff65d5d36087Post:a4440d3c-12a7-4e21-9b45-5ce54fbe0e52">Re: Is it rude to tell guests not to bring gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it rude to tell guests not to bring gifts? : You know, it actually didn't work for us. We added a phrase to our invites letting parents know that any children who showed up at our wedding would be stopped at the door and re-routed through a complex series of tunnels, passages and hallways to find themselves in a small room where beatings would take place between the hours of 3:25-11:30, but alas, we still had kids. I'm kidding. I love kiddos. But we still beat them on our wedding day for fun.
Posted by shannonalise[/QUOTE]

Ha! Love this. If only we'd had such a foolproof plan at our wedding.

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-tell-guests-not-bring-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c676d365-1fc0-46f5-8b8c-ff65d5d36087Post:1ed0a3a7-ca2e-4c08-87c6-568e528ce914">Re: Is it rude to tell guests not to bring gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it rude to tell guests not to bring gifts? : Ha! Love this. If only we'd had such a foolproof plan at our wedding.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

LisaG101010

Ok..so I am fairly new here and mostly a lurker...but I just had to comment on Shannon's post regarding the kiddos'...LOVED IT!!!  HILARIOUS!!  Ok...back to lurking...:)

shannonalise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-tell-guests-not-bring-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c676d365-1fc0-46f5-8b8c-ff65d5d36087Post:90098a3d-35f9-472b-acd9-418c57ab3ffe">Re: Is it rude to tell guests not to bring gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok..so I am fairly new here and mostly a lurker...but I just had to comment on Shannon's post regarding the kiddos'...LOVED IT!!!  HILARIOUS!!  Ok...back to lurking...:)
Posted by LisaG101010[/QUOTE]

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" /> Noooo! :::reaches for lurker before she disappears again::: You don't have to leave! But I'm glad you enjoyed that.

beamer84

I've also seen wedding invitations that said something like "in lieu of gifts, please donate to <insert charity name here>." The couple still got some gifts, but for most people, it was a way to do as the couple wanted and still spend money "on them."

bcydney

I have a related question.  I recently got engaged and am planning our wedding.  I have been previously married once before but my fiance has not.  We are registering because I know his friends, his family, and my friends (that I have met after I got divorced) will want to bring gifts.  I have invited my family, but do not want them to bring gifts, as they have already done that for me once before.  I'm not quite sure how to go about this.  My plan is to personally contact my family and friends that went to my previous wedding and tell them that their presence and love is all that is desired.  But I feel like I need to tell them that we are registered b/c I also don't want them to show up and see others bringing presents and wonder why.  Any suggestions how to do this without offending people??

southernbelle0915

@knotporscha - bcydney started a new thread about this in SB. Since this is over 4 years old, should it be closed?