Advice Needed. Kind of Long. - NWR

cupcakesfrosting

It is, technically. But in our County, the poverty level is $700 a month. That only includes rent / mortgage payments, not food, or gas / electric / water payments, which is mandatory.. If you make more than that you don't qualify for Cash Aid or anything, so our payments are more than we can feasibly take care of. We make too much to get help, but not enough to survive on our own. The system is screwed up.

calindi

I think for the little girl's sake, it's easier to adjust and adapt at a younger age.  By the time she's a teenager, she's really going to resent him not being around.  While it might be confusing right now, therapy for both your FI and his daughter would help make the situation easier (once he gets the right to see her).  When she's 18 years old, she's going to be solidly grown into the submissive person she's being raised to be, and will likely resent that her father never had anything to do with her.

There's really no good reason not to try.  I can understand he's scared, but it's a "now or never" situation.  She's still young enough to adapt, though it will be a shock.  If he waits until she's older, he's not going to get a chance to intercede on the way she's being raised.

I don't know how prepared you are for it, but it's possible he could be given joint custody.  You need to fight for this little girl.