Can we talk about Parents gifts again...?

Madisonpenny

I want to know everyone's opinion on this.  Is the point of the parents gift at a wedding to say 'thanks for raising me and being great parents" OR "thanks for all your help with the wedding" OR "thanks for raising me, all your help with the wedding and being great parents'?

I ask because my parents have not contributed what-so-ever whether it be financially, with opinions or suggestions, nothing, they don't even ask about the wedding At ALL.  While FI's parents, although not financially they have helped in other ways.
Also, are parents gifts really necessary?

bells24412

IMO it is a nice gesture, but we aren't going to give parents gifts. My parents specifically said they didn't want anything and his parents too. They want us to keep whatever money we were going to spend on them and put it towards our house fund.

ajmom2two

I have no idea!  I didnt even know I was supposed to be getting them a gift.  My dad has not helped out at all and doesnt even really ask about things.  My mom lives out of state and cant come because she is not in good enough health to travel.  I am interested in everyone's opinions!

bridetobe71412

I think technically it's supposed to be a "Thank you for raising me" gift.

I don't think they're absolutely necessary, but I'm going to get a gift for my mom and I'm getting gifts for my future in-laws, too. In-laws haven't contributed at all, except for RD. My mom is paying for 95% of the wedding herself. I will probably get my mom something a little bigger but will still get something for in-laws, too. I will not give them their gifts in front of each other.

butterflyjumper1

I think the gift is for a little bit of everything.  Mostly, thanks for raising me and being great parents, but at the same time, it is a nice gesture to thank them for what they have done to help with the wedding.  Even if they are not contributing (financially or otherwise) to the wedding, I think it is meaningful and thoughtful to get them a gift - whether or not it is super expensive, even something small means a lot.

I am not sure what we are going to do before the wedding, if anything, but we will be ordering leather bound coffee table books from our photographer to give them as after the wedding thank- you presents (one book for my parents, one book for in-laws).

BmoreBride311

I don't really know which it is representing, but I think our parent's know how financially stretched we are right now due to FI's graduate school loans and wedding costs, that they would not want us spending a lot on gifts for them.

I think we'll just give them nice, heartfelt cards at the RD, and then get them photo albums from mixbook or similar after we get our wedding photos.

k8888

My mom has been very generous with our wedding, and FI's parents have been very generous with our honeymoon... we're giving them both really nice parent photo albums through our photographer, but at the RD I think we'll be writing out sappy cards for them.  I know my mom said she specifically doesn't want any thank you gifts so we'll also be bringing stuff back from Hawaii for them.

littlemoments324

We have decided not to get our parents anything...one because we really dont have the extra funds to my parents have said do get them anything...we will however be getting them a nice 8x10 of their fav. Wedding photo... As for FI's parents they havent contributed anything nor have they offered to us. Which is completely fine I am however going to write sappy letters to my parents for their help for being amazing parents.

dramaqueen91087

I'm probably not doing gifts at the actual wedding. They will get albums of wedding photos after though. I just can't afford to get them wedding gifts.

Nati05

Can I be honest? The whole gifts thing for everyone seriously annoys me. And I don't like the pressure that we're supposed to get something for everyone or else it's rude. Isn't the reception a huge thank you anyway?

I totally get when parents are helping out financially and BMs and GMs have pitched in with the planning process.. I honestly do. It's a great thank you. But when you're paying for everything yourself, BMs and GMs couldn't be less involved AND you've let them choose everything for themselves.. why am I supposed to dish out even more money on gifts??

My dad is the only person pitching in but FI and I are still paying the majority. I'll probably get something small for my parents but I think that's as far as I'll go. I doubt FI will give his parents anything.

Nancy00714

I'm giving my parents this:



It's a portrait of the holy family made of silver.  They are very religious and I'm sure they will like it cause they like all of that religious stuff and this symbolizes the upbringing they gave me, the fact we're a family and that I'm going on to form my own family.

My parents are doing A LOT for me (monetarily speaking) and I wish I could give them more.  But I do know they will appreciate this.

I'm sure the present thing just depends on you.  Maybe whether or not you're a gift giving family.  If you don't normally give each other gifts then I don't see why you'd  give them a gift now.  If you guys tend to give each other gifts I would give them a gift on this occasion and I think it is more of a thanks for raising me gift (I chose both in the poll) but the more I think about maybe it is more for raising you and making you the person you are. 

ajmom2two

I was planning on gettting both my parents and his parents photobooks after the wedding so I think I will just stick to that.  

michelle11988

I am planning on getting both sets of parents albums after the wedding.  We will probably give them both something else at the RD  My parents have pitched in a lot of money and support on all of this.  FI's parents are not in the position to give us any money, which is fine by us but they have supported us throughout everything as well. I have no idea what to get them at the RD but we will get them something on the smaller side.