Snarky Brides

Sad week at work **warning suicide talk**

So it's been a sad week at my work and I kinda wanted to get it all out so don't mind me. Yesterday our one cashier had called to let us know that her mother who had been ill had passed. While this isn't as sad since we knew she had been suffering, I know the cashier was really hoping she'd pull through. Today our other cashier got a phone call that her brother had committed suicide, this is a touchy subject for me because my sister went through a rough patch for 2yrs where she tried to kill herself literally every week and my uncle had committed suicide 2yrs ago. I don't know how to act or what to say other than I'm sorry and if there is anything she needs to just ask. The thing is this poor woman cannot get a friggen break and it makes me so angry. Last year she was diagnosed with breast cancer and under went a double mastectomy, so far she's cancer free. Than her one brother was kicked out of his house by his wife for his excessive drinking went to rehab and ended up staying with her. While all this was happening her dog was diagnosed with bone cancer and they had to put her down because being a bull mastiff she wouln't be able to walk in they amputated her one leg. THAN her one brother committed suicide, than her daughter got dumped my her husband and now the boozing brother has killed himself, in her house no less!!! I don't know how she is able to keep a smile on her face and be cheerful about anything this past year, suicide is such a selfish and cowardly thing to do and it makes me sick that not one but two of her brothers have done this to her and her family. I mean this last brother had 3 children ages 9-14! WTF!!! Sorry this is long and sad but I'm stuck at work now until 9pm the rest of the week since we don't have any cashiers to come in and I needed to get it out. Thanks for listening

Re: Sad week at work **warning suicide talk**

  • That is truly horrendous. My heart breaks for that poor woman.
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  • Thoughts and prayers for your co-worker!  She definitely has the strength within her despite all of the sorrow around her :)

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
  • Oh man, that is really sad. And honestly I wouldn't know what to say either. It baffles me that she's able to keep it together, as you said.

    It seems, some people just have to go through a lot of pain in their lives. It doesn't make any sense to me, it just happens.

    I certainly give her a lot of credit. I don't know how well I'd fare if all of that had happened to me.
  • I know, and she is the sweetest person you will ever meet! She brings me coffee when she comes back from lunch and is always thinking of others, she's had her fair share and I wish life would stop shiiting on her.
  • *hugs* for you and for this poor girl.

    Some people definitely can't catch a break and it's awful.  A classmate of mine from high school had a really, really bad year last year.  Her 26 year old cousin, who was her best friend, got married - then a week later, dropped dead.  Two days after that, her grandpa died.  Six months later, her uncle, who had been battling cancer for months, finally passed.  That night her mom went home after being at the hospital with the dying uncle, and SHE died.  She lost her cousin, grandpa, uncle and mom all in six months.
    panther
  • Oh wow AATB that's truly awful. I wish there was something I could do for her, I know I will send flowers and attend the funeral (like last time) but it all feels so awkward. I am considering offering her my vacation time and covering her shifts next week so she can take a break but I don't want to offend her by assuming she wants the time.
  • Oh that is so sweet of you - I'm sure you wouldn't offend her.  I know she'd probably understand that you're just trying to help.
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_sad-week-work-warning-suicide-talk?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:daaae731-df9f-44d9-a50e-55c45316a44fPost:588fcdbd-c86b-48e3-9727-aeebc194dcda">Re: Sad week at work **warning suicide talk**</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh that is so sweet of you - I'm sure you wouldn't offend her.  I know she'd probably understand that you're just trying to help.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    Yeah this.

    You could just say "I'm very sorry you're dealing with this, and I just want you to know that I have no problem working extra shifts to help you out of you need time to grieve."
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_sad-week-work-warning-suicide-talk?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:daaae731-df9f-44d9-a50e-55c45316a44fPost:b432156d-89be-4db6-8b4b-8c2c6c6ff6a2">Re: Sad week at work **warning suicide talk**</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh wow AATB that's truly awful. I wish there was something I could do for her, I know I will send flowers and attend the funeral (like last time) but it all feels so awkward. <strong>I am considering offering her my vacation time and covering her shifts next week so she can take a break</strong> but I don't want to offend her by assuming she wants the time.
    Posted by mgietler76[/QUOTE]

    That would be a very nice thing to offer.  Don't be surprised or offended if she turns you down, however.  Depending on how she grieves, working might be the best thing for her.  She may not want to spend time at home, or working may give her a sense of normalcy in her life, especially with it seemingly spinning out of control.
    Holy Crap. We survived the first year!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_sad-week-work-warning-suicide-talk?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:daaae731-df9f-44d9-a50e-55c45316a44fPost:b011a56e-e01d-45a0-a2b7-1c08d428d388">Re: Sad week at work **warning suicide talk**</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Sad week at work **warning suicide talk** : That would be a very nice thing to offer.  Don't be surprised or offended if she turns you down, however.  Depending on how she grieves, working might be the best thing for her.  <strong>She may not want to spend time at home, or working may give her a sense of normalcy in her life, especially with it seemingly spinning out of control.</strong>
    Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

    Yeah this is what I was thinking. Well it couldn't hurt to offer, I'll talk to HR in the morning and see if they'll even let me give her my unused sick and vacation time.
  • edited October 2010

    We have a sad case like this at work at the moment. One of our cleaner's husbands (of 28 years) got diagnosed with lung cancer- he passed less than two months after diagnosis. We were doing some fundraising for her to help with the funeral costs, and she got diagnosed with cancer (literally the week after her husband passed)- she had a mastectomy last week and now needs chemo and radiation therapy because it was in her lymph nodes and may have spread. Meanwhile, her mother (who she cares for) has also just been hospitalised. 

    I know there's a correlation with poor lifestyle (they smoke etc) but still... it's so much for one person to deal with. 

     

    She is trying to organise her chemo so she can work in the afternoons because she needs the money... it's really sad. 

  • Uggh. What is going on with all the deaths recently? A good friend just messaged me - his mom passed last night. He lost his dad a few months ago. All these stories are so sad.
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