is marriage for white people?

KatyRoseM

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/25/AR2006032500029.html

So I read this article and wondered what you guys would think.
 
Cliff notes: Black people don't get married as much in America and it theorises its because women are able to support children on their own.  Also the difference in when men and women want to get married (women want it when they are young, men when they are older).  It also theorizes that marriage will become less common in general as time goes by. 

What do you all think?

katiewhompus

I read the article but am too sleepy to have really absorbed a lot of it. I do think that the racial demographic is interesting but eh, I don't know.

that's all I have to contribute lol.

Blueyed228

Well it explains why 72% of black children are born to unwed mothers.

I think the article has a very interesting perspective.

em01092

Very interesting. I'm not sure what this means for marriage down the road. 

Wiscisbliss

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_marriage-white-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:db33a2de-df75-4859-886e-47553f9e82acPost:5f947fe4-d8d1-4da7-a299-6d5f93897009">Re: is marriage for white people?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well it explains why 72% of black children are born to unwed mothers. I think the article has a very interesting perspective.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

Jebus - That seems way to high to be true...  Although I recently heard that 51% of Latino children are born to unwed mothers. 

I thought the article was very interesting and something I'll probably have to re-read and mull over for a while before I have anything terribly insightful to add. 

My initial thoughts are that women in general are different these days.  We go to school, get jobs... and not just jobs, but careers, we buy homes, and can support ourselves and be fine on our own.  I'm 26 and not very many of my friends are married. 

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_marriage-white-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:db33a2de-df75-4859-886e-47553f9e82acPost:5f074177-12c7-466b-b234-0c44013d9fe7">Re: is marriage for white people?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: is marriage for white people? :<strong><u> Jebus - That seems way to high to be true...</u></strong>  Although I recently heard that 51% of Latino children are born to unwed mothers.  I thought the article was very interesting and something I'll probably have to re-read and mull over for a while before I have anything terribly insightful to add.  My initial thoughts are that women in general are different these days.  We go to school, get jobs... and not just jobs, but careers, we buy homes, and can support ourselves and be fine on our own.  I'm 26 and not very many of my friends are married. 
Posted by Wiscisbliss[/QUOTE]

1 in 4. The 70% is give or take a few, but yes, it is that high.

Blueyed228

Also, technically there are more white babies born out of wedlock if you go by just numbers.

But the percentage rates are very different. about 28% of white babies, 70% of black babies, and 50% of Hispanic babies

40% of all babies (regardless of race) are born out of wedlock these days.

CassandraPotter

well I need to read more about why this happens. But I feel like the whole people aren't going to get married as much is sort of up in the air. A lot of generations to a pendulum swing effect. I know I did from my parents hah. But its pretty interesting that a lot of generations do that. 

Blueyed228

Its also interesting that they point out how women can take care of children on their own, but fail to mention that out of the 70% that are single parents, 40% of them live below the poverty line.

CassandraPotter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_marriage-white-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:db33a2de-df75-4859-886e-47553f9e82acPost:45339b71-9379-4c41-a800-927f5d76e06f">Re: is marriage for white people?</a>:
[QUOTE]Its also interesting that they point out how women can take care of children on their own, but fail to mention that out of the 70% that are single parents, 40% of them live below the poverty line.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
agreed.

Lenore2010

The financial reality of single paperhood is often pretty harsh, they do not discuss that at all as others have said. Even if a single parent is not living below the poverty line (and that line is crazy low like 14K for two people, most people would fell pretty damn poor making more than that) life is harder for sure.  

The doom of marriage, or just fewer people getting married has been predicted for 40 years now. The reality has been that people just do it latter in life than they use to. I was 44 when we got married and it was a first marriage for me. I don't think THAT will ever be commonplace, but it is kind of interesting that it happens at all. I know two other women who were 40 + and did the same. 

CassandraPotter

maybe marriage also happens later because life expectancy is longer? not just the growth of our culture being based on the individual and doing ones own "thing". Also I feel like marriage was more about religion in the past, and as of late I feel like it isn't based around that as much anymore. 

TheCranberry

I think another reason marriage happens later is that more women are getting education (and further along in education) and working before getting married.  I have seen studies that show that the more education a woman has (bachelor's degree, masters, etc) the later she tends to get married. 

pearlaqua

WOW. Did this quote give anyone else chills?

"... a black child was more likely to grow up living with both parents during slavery days than he or she is today, according to sociologist Andrew J. Cherlin."

Of course, statistics don't tell the whole story.  Yes 50% of marriages end in divorce, but people remarry.  And with children-born-out-of-wedlock stories, the numbers aren't the whole story.  Many children's parents eventually marry so the number isn't as staggering as one would think.

That being said, I think the nation needs to be more responsible in general. 

Quit it with the credit card debt, don't buy homes you can't afford (I think the nation learned that lesson, though...I hope) , father the children you conceive. 

I sound like an old person, but I really think our country is wasting a lot of potential by being lazy.

Porphyriassong

"As the woman realizes that a good marriage may not be as possible or sustainable as she would like, her focus turns to having a baby, or possibly improving her job status, perhaps by returning to school or investing more energy in her career."

I think a lot of posters are also ignoring the fact that a lot of "two parent" households are not necessarily "married" households.  I've noticed a large trend of couples having children, but hold off on the wedding because lets face it, a wedding is a HUGE up front expense and the pressure in our society to have BIG, FANCY, weddings is pretty significant.  The wedding industrial complex has us believing that we need these formal traditional (expensive) weddings to be happy so people are making commitments in private and putting off the public commitment until they can afford the wedding they've always dreamed of.  

If it became more socially acceptable to have small private court house weddings, I think more people would probably get married.  I know I would have gotten married much earlier if that were the case.

Blueyed228

In Response to Re: is marriage for white people?:
[QUOTE I think a lot of posters are also ignoring the fact that a lot of "two parent" households are not necessarily "married" households.  I've noticed a large trend of couples having children, but hold off on the wedding because lets face it, a wedding is a HUGE up front expense and the pressure in our society to have BIG, FANCY, weddings is pretty significant.  The wedding industrial complex has us believing that we need these formal traditional (expensive) weddings to be happy so people are making commitments in private and putting off the public commitment until they can afford the wedding they've always dreamed of.   If it became more socially acceptable to have small private court house weddings, I think more people would probably get married.  I know I would have gotten married much earlier if that were the case.
Posted by Porphyriassong[/QUOTE]

Where is it not socially acceptable to have a court house wedding?

Not all non-courthouse weddings are "expensive".

thesuninherhead

It seems to me that the issue is more about SES. We know that there's a lot of socioeconomic disadvantage amongst people of minority ethnicity in relation to Caucasians. We also know that rates of divorce and single parent numbers are higher among those with socioeconomic disadvantage, regardless of skin colour (likely for numerous reasons, both the impact of financial stress on relationships, lower levels of education, higher rates of substance misuse etc)... it thus doesn't appear particularly surprising that people in minority groups have a higher rate of single parents/lack of marriage in light of the intertwined nature of ethnicity and SES. 

 

I'm not saying that there's not cultural differences in approaches to marriage- there likely is. But I think that these statistics and their interpretation are being over-simplified (correlation =/= causation FTW!) in this article.

Porphyriassong

Where is it not socially acceptable to have a court house wedding?

Not all non-courthouse weddings are "expensive" 

Perhaps the phrase "socially acceptable" in application of a courthouse wedding was a poor choice.  There is however a view that that isn't a "real" wedding and there is a lot of social pressure to have a "real" wedding with the dress, the guests, the dinner etc.  I know my fiance feels his family would be heartbroken and even angry if we'd simply done a low key court house wedding without them (they all live out of town so it would have been without them) 

Not to mention when you have a large family, any non elopement wedding IS expensive no matter how you cut it.  Even a comparitively modest $10,000 is unatainable for a lot of people.  Combine that with systemic poor personal financial planning and virtually no savings and that dream wedding is impossible.  If you make that committment provately and that's good enough for you why bother or why not wait until you can afford it?

mica178

I'm wondering what you were doing looking up this 2006 article?

pearlaqua

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_marriage-white-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:db33a2de-df75-4859-886e-47553f9e82acPost:d5af0823-afbe-4541-a152-78e2ee9058e3">Re: is marriage for white people?</a>:
[QUOTE]Where is it not socially acceptable to have a court house wedding? Not all non-courthouse weddings are "expensive"  Perhaps the phrase "socially acceptable" in application of a courthouse wedding was a poor choice.  There is however a view that that isn't a "real" wedding and there is a lot of social pressure to have a "real" wedding with the dress, the guests, the dinner etc.  I know my fiance feels his family would be heartbroken and even angry if we'd simply done a low key court house wedding without them (they all live out of town so it would have been without them)  Not to mention when you have a large family, any non elopement wedding IS expensive no matter how you cut it.  Even a comparitively modest $10,000 is unatainable for a lot of people.  Combine that with systemic poor personal financial planning and virtually no savings and that dream wedding is impossible.  If you make that committment provately and that's good enough for you why bother or<strong> why not wait until you can afford it</strong>?
Posted by Porphyriassong[/QUOTE]

<div>I feel like we are in the middle of a financial meltdown because people couldn't do this very thing when it came to their home.  For some reason people think they are owed a home they can't afford, maybe people think they are owed a wedding they can't afford for this same mysterious reason.</div><div>
</div>