"Birth Rape"

brandichamberlain

There was some chatter on the radio about the subject of "birth rape" today- so I decided to do some searching.

I came across a website with a specific story: http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f257-natural-childbirth/2259573-true-medical-horror-story-woman-c-sectioned-against-her-will.html

CN: A woman had a specific VBAC birth plan. She was essentially lied to and operated on without her or her husbands consent.


I would be flipping my Shiit if someone lied to me and operated on me without my consent.  I feel terrible for this woman.

SarahPLiz

Yeah, that has to be illegal. You have to consent to surgery unless you are incapacitated. BUT, I had to sign papers when I went in the hospital that allowed them to do it if deemed medically necessary.

If they gave her anesthesia without her consent, HELLO LAWSUIT!

chelseamb11

I never realized those two words could be used in the same sentence together.

This is horrible. I'd be hella pissed and suing them for every penny they have.

brandichamberlain

In Response to Re: "Birth Rape":
[QUOTE]I never realized those two words could be used in the same sentence together. This is horrible. I'd be hella pissed and suing them for every penny they have.
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

I didn't either.  I heard it and stared at the radio thinking "I surely did not just hear that".  Apparently this isn't that rare of an issue either.

Matty143

That's horrifying.
I would really like to know what hospital this was at.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I just read that whole thing and WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK.  I am speechless.

Matty143

Am I the only one who thinks that the H should have demanded to see her before surgery?
Maybe I'm missing something, but I would like to that he would demand to see me or talk to me.
Anyone else?

chelseamb11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_birth-rape?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:df9537d4-67b0-469d-a379-c182dcc32febPost:28b05a8b-3998-43e3-9967-96a4080d8e0f">Re: "Birth Rape"</a>:
[QUOTE]Am I the only one who thinks that the H should have demanded to see her before surgery? Maybe I'm missing something, but I would like to that he would demand to see me or talk to me. Anyone else?
Posted by Matty143[/QUOTE]

I thought so too, but honestly, if the doctors play the "this is what's going to save your wife's and baby's lives" card, they could talk him into anything i bet. he was probably scared shitless and wasn't thinking straight.

Matty143

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_birth-rape?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:df9537d4-67b0-469d-a379-c182dcc32febPost:c8280e6f-4165-4198-a39f-dea12f6921f3">Re: "Birth Rape"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Birth Rape" : I thought so too, but honestly, if the doctors play the "this is what's going to save your wife's and baby's lives" card, they could talk him into anything i bet. he was probably scared shitless and wasn't thinking straight.
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

Yeah, your'e probably right.
Yikes, that's scary.

LetsHikeToday

I wonder what the hospital is thinking?

Did they have something she signed saying that if it was an emergency, they'd be able to do whatever they thought was medically necessary? It just seems that in these times, when hospitals get sued all the time, they'd have some type of documentation or something.

I feel bad for her. She obviously is struggling with this so much and it makes me sad she doesn't feel as connected to the birth of her son. I hope she gets answers and can figure out her next plan of action.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Yeah, I have a feeling chels is right.  I think in a hospital, it's one of those settings where people tell you things and you just believe them, you know? 

Although after reading through all that, holyfuckingballsacks.  I am going to be one holy nightmare of a pregnant woman when I reach my due date, lol.  No one better fukc with me or my husband.

AceTT

That is terrible. Wow. I agree with the first comment on there - she needs to get a lawyer ASAP.

brandichamberlain

I guess even with her saying OK to the other mask and just believing them.  Our society tends to believe those who are in the "helping" professions.  Many people still believe that every police officer is straight as an arrow.  While many of them are, there are always the exception.  This makes me so weary of going to the Dr. anymore.

AceTT

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_birth-rape?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:df9537d4-67b0-469d-a379-c182dcc32febPost:daa260ae-ad32-4cd9-90b9-7dbfc99bd4c4">Re: "Birth Rape"</a>:
[QUOTE]Ace, are you a reg with a new SN?  You seem awfully familiar for some reason.   And, whoa, this is all kinds of messed up.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]
I'm not a reg, I've just been posting a lot on here lately. I originally joined to be on TB, but the boards on TK are crazy entertaining with all the crazies! TB has its own crazies, but it seems like TK has more unique crazy situations. So I have been here a lot this week.

ErinG93

Ace, in my head I call you 'Ice-T' and imagine you are in fact, Ice-T.

Matty143

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_birth-rape?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:df9537d4-67b0-469d-a379-c182dcc32febPost:ec1dd4f4-41db-4a1b-b998-94e3d61b1992">Re: "Birth Rape"</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I have a feeling chels is right.  I think in a hospital, it's one of those settings where people tell you things and you just believe them, you know?  Although after reading through all that, holyfuckingballsacks.<strong>  I am going to be one holy nightmare of a pregnant woman when I reach my due date, lol.  No one better fukc with me or my husband.</strong>
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I get what you mean and I agree.
Ditto!

brandichamberlain

Ace- I tried to join the appropriate board on TB and when I told my situation/story they called me MUD.

It pissed me off enough to never go back.

AceTT

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_birth-rape?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:df9537d4-67b0-469d-a379-c182dcc32febPost:fe00e253-4f91-4d25-a6c1-d809bf02e0c5">Re: "Birth Rape"</a>:
[QUOTE]Ace, in my head I call you 'Ice-T' and imagine you are in fact, Ice-T.
Posted by ErinG93[/QUOTE]
Bahahahaha thanks! Can I put that quote in my sig? :)

Here is a self portrait:

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/13/345abdd0-eb34-4aec-ad8c-5b604423d635.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/13/345abdd0-eb34-4aec-ad8c-5b604423d635.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

brandichamberlain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_birth-rape?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:df9537d4-67b0-469d-a379-c182dcc32febPost:563e3c5f-7b7e-42ed-be40-12144be0f9ca">Re: "Birth Rape"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Birth Rape" : Bahahahaha thanks! Can I put that quote in my sig? :) Here is a self portrait:
Posted by AceTT[/QUOTE]

How's CoCo?

ErinG93

I totally did not mean to de-rail this thread. You can quote whatever the hell you want in your sig!

AceTT

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_birth-rape?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:df9537d4-67b0-469d-a379-c182dcc32febPost:d55d676f-c381-4c57-aa26-04cb7c9b5bfb">Re: "Birth Rape"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Birth Rape" : tasha&jayse or whatever, no?  CRAY CRAY. 
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]
OMG that girl... there are no words. Did you see she posted on her local board and complained? I had to set her straight.... although I doubt she will be back since we are all so terrible.

<a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_im-ashamed-to-be-a-part-of-this-so-im-deleting-my-account">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_im-ashamed-to-be-a-part-of-this-so-im-deleting-my-account</a>

AceTT

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_birth-rape?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:df9537d4-67b0-469d-a379-c182dcc32febPost:07f4b5a7-1dc0-4339-b414-6cc588016892">Re: "Birth Rape"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Birth Rape" : How's CoCo?
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]
She is AMAZING. Here we are on vacation. She definitely loves me for my personality, not just my money. Really. She does.

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/9/3/b95936f5-92f4-436b-b39c-630043ada348.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/9/3/b95936f5-92f4-436b-b39c-630043ada348.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

Girlie1030

I can't add anything more than what the rest of you have but I have a question.  Do internal fetal monitors really screw into the babies head?  WTH?

AceTT

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_birth-rape?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:df9537d4-67b0-469d-a379-c182dcc32febPost:02c04d6a-87e8-4710-9fc1-f2ff7228fb40">Re: "Birth Rape"</a>:
[QUOTE]Ace- I tried to join the appropriate board on TB and when I told my situation/story they called me MUD. It pissed me off enough to never go back.
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry :(  They are pretty quick to call MUD and trolls over there. Very quick. I do more lurking there than posting, especially since H and I are not quite ready to TTC yet.

brandichamberlain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_birth-rape?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:df9537d4-67b0-469d-a379-c182dcc32febPost:36e58b00-ddca-41ee-bd6c-1ca0e3a049a6">Re: "Birth Rape"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Birth Rape" : She is AMAZING. Here we are on vacation. She definitely loves me for my personality, not just my money. Really. She does.
Posted by AceTT[/QUOTE]

I think I need that bikini for my HM.

Also on the monitors- I don't know, but I would not be getting one of those if it did.

cheeseandrice

That story is terrifying, but I bet it's not uncommon.  I feel so bad for that mom. My mom labored with me for 20+ hours and then her bp was all over the place, so they did an emergency c/s.  My dad had to consent, and he says they scared the crap out of him to convince him.  My mom still gets upset about it, because they completely put her under.  (For my siblings, she was just numb from the chest down, so she still got to see/hold them right away.)

and, yes, the monitor 'screws' into the head.

http://pregnancy.about.com/od/fetalmonitoring/f/internalmonitor.htm

brandichamberlain

That is much different then what I had in mind. For whatever reason I pictures long screws, and more than one.

tidetravel

Popping in here.  (HI!!!)

I can't open the article, so maybe it is horrific, but the fact that most women don't realize is that a "birth plan" is just that - it's a plan.  Women have to understand that things rarely go according to "plan" and need to accept that there are very real risks to sticking to the plan in certain situations; risks that doctors often do not want to take because then they can be held liable.  Is mom OK?  Is baby OK?  If so (again, can't open the article), IMO, she needs to trust that the doctors did what they deemed necessary to reach the desired result - a healthy mom and baby.

cheeseandrice

No, Tide. I totally agree with you usually. (And I admittedly rolled my eyes at the story at first.) But this is different.  Here's the original story, if TK lets me paste this much text...

After switching doctors several times during the course of my pregnancy, at the time I delivered I was under the care of an OB & Midwives group. I was told that I was a good candidate for VBAC, was offered water-birth if things went well, and believed that I was in the best possible circumstances to avoid surgery & any un-needed medical intervention.

I went to the hospital in labor on Jan 30th. I arrived at the hospital dialated to 4. An hour & a half later, my water had broken on it's own and I was dialated to 6. 

Since I was laboring on a birthing ball, the midwife wasn't confident about the fetal heartrate monitor, it was showing decels, so I was asked to consent to an internal monitor (screws into the baby's scalp during labor). I refused the first time I was asked, then consented the second time they asked. I consented because I thought my husband was beginning to panic and hoped that it would ease his stress. When I consented to it, I looked at my husband & said "That is medical intervention #1". 

Before the monitor was even plugged in, we were told that we were going to be moved to the OR "just in case" while being monitored more closely. The midwife had called an OB to consult & we expected to meet him in the OR. 

On the way to the OR, my husband was sent to a dressing area to change into scrubs & I was sent straight into the OR. My husband & I were seperated. 

As soon as I reached the OR, the staff began prepping me for surgery. I stated that I did NOT want a c-section. I demanded to see my husband and stated that IF I was to receive a c-section my DH & I would make that decision together. I was told that my husband was on his way. I was also told that my baby needed more oxygen & I was told to breathe deeply in a new mask because it had a better seal on my face (the oxygen I was breathing before was thru a smaller mask). The new mask wasn't oxygen, I was gassed against my will. I am unaware of what was done to me from the time I was gassed up until I awoke in recovery. I am assuming that I only had a c-section. Any further details have not been shared with me. 

When my husband exited the dressing area & went to go to the OR, he was told that he couldn't go in because I was already being anesthetized for surgery. He was not asked to consent on my behalf. He was not told that I had refused consent. He was not told that I had requested his presence. He was not told WHY I was having surgery.

I found out that my son had been born, and that I had been operated on, when I woke up in recovery. No medical professional came to me and spoke to me about my surgery. I have never been told WHY I required a c-section. I only know the name of the delivering physician because it's on my son's birth certificate. I never met him. He never came to talk to me before or after surgery. I also never saw the midwife again after I was wheeled into the OR.

2 days after surgery, my wound 'opened' and bled enough to detatch the Tegaderm on one side. A midwife was stopping in to check me & informed me of the bleeding (it had just happened as she came in). She removed the Tegaderm completely & taped an absorbant bandage to my stomach. I was told that I would be given bandages & supplies needed to keep the wound bandaged at home. 

My discharge paperwork doesn't include any information pertaining to surgery or wound care. It doesn't even mention that I had surgery. I was given no verbal would care instructions. I was given no supplies for would care at home. My son & I left the hospital about 46 hours after delivery. 

The bleeding from my wound finally stopped completely after about 10 days. My wound is now "knotty" with a few stitches exposed on the right end.

I'm waiting to receive copies of my operative notes, so I can figure out what happened to me and how to live with it.

I'm having an extremely hard time coming to grips with having been lied to and operated on against my will. I love my son, but I did not give birth to him. I was not present at his birth. That moment in my life has been taken from me. I had a birth plan. It included my desire to bathe my son myself for his first bath. A nurse bathed him while I was knocked out. My birth plan included my desire to hold my son immediately upon birth. God knows how many medical professionalls held my son before I did. I've seen pictures of the first time I held him. I do not remember it. I don't know if I'll ever again be capable of trusting a medical professional to respect me as a whole person, instead of just a slab of meat ready for their whim. I thought that it was required of medical professionals to obtain informed consent whenever possible prior to performing surgery.

celticmyss

For some reason the title of this thread made me think of a terrible SVU episode where John Stamos played a "reproductive abuser." We got some good laughs out of the melodrama in that one. 

FH got some major bonus points when he realized one of the victims was the chick from Footloose. He has a great memory for that kind of thing while I am totally dependant on IMDB. 

allisong23

Something in that story seems a little off. When she said she switched doctors several times during her pregnancy, that set off red lights for me. Who switches doctors that many times, unless she didn't want to hear what they were telling her and kept doc shopping until she found someone that finally agreed with her? Especially during pregnancy, people want to have a long term, trusting relationship with their doctor. And, having gone through a pretty traumatic childbirth,ithe whole thing doesn't make sense.