Another random name thing

Night_Sprite

I kept my name, H is fine with this.  It seems that people are assuming I took his name on mail and Christmas cards and junk.  How do I politely tell people my name is not H's name without being bitchy?

[Deleted User]

I haven't changed my name either, and people do the same. I don't mind for things like envelope addresses, but I do have to correct them when they write checks. I just tell them I haven't changed my name, and won't for professional reasons, and haven't had a problem. They seem to understand.

I also send mail clearly from H Last Name and Me Last Name, not joining the two.

SarahPLiz

Maybe just use your separate names on mailing labels when you send them Christmas cards back? I don't know that I'd take offense at their assumption enough to call them up and tell them. 

FWIW, my godparents (aunt and uncle) still address my little sister as Jenny. In 21 years they have not figured out that her name is Virginia, and therefore her nickname is Ginny. Some people just make assumptions and go with them and have no ill will. My sister has not corrected them and probably never will. 

Blueyed228

My realtor did that (well she actually hyphenated).  She is VERY adamant about it.  I put on the invite "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" and she replied on the rsvp card with "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane DOE-SMITH".

It was weird.  I got the hint after that, lol.  Her xmas card will be correct.  Her name is also Katherine and FIL called her Kathy one time and she was kinda biitchy about it.  "My name is KATHERINE".

If people put his last name, I dont think they do it to be rude.  How would they know unless you told them.  I think after the first time they see it on a return address or something they should get it right the next time.

TheCranberry

I'm not changing my name either.  I think if I got a Christmas card or other personal correspondence with his last name on it I'd tell them in a nice way.  Perhaps send an email: "I got your Christmas card, thanks for thinking of us.  Just so you know, I didn't change my name so it's still Smith.  I hope everything is going great with you."  It doesn't have to be a confrontation. 

Blueyed228

Speaking of names.  There is a poster on catholic brides named "TeamBaby".

It got an eye roll from me.

beatlesgirl25

I mentioned this in the other thread, but H's family continues to call me Mrs. Beatles Hlastname over a year after we married. It was even discussed with our families (they'd asked about it) prior to us getting married. So after the wedding, at first we tried to be subtle and use the appropriate address labels and signatures, etc. They would respond with cards and birthday/anni checks with the wrong name for me. H finally mentioned it to his stepmom to pass it along to everyone, and she said she had no idea and would let everyone know. Of course it's still happening, so now I'm just chalking it up to people not being accepting of this. It's not a battle worth fighting IMO, especially with his grandmothers who are very old-fashioned. So I just deal with it.

ETA: My point is, you can be subtle and careful, and some people will get it, and other might never get it, or choose to ignore it. So try not to let it get to you too much.