People are dumb (my first rant and kinda long)

nicleep

My son is 18 months old and I try very hard to keep his meals/food/snacks as healthy as possible.  I figure he's got his whole life to eat crap- since I have some say in what goes into his body while he's young why not try to introduce good habits.  I'm not a 'food nazi' and he definitely gets some sweets (ie vanilla ice cream on occasion) but absolutely no candy, soda or chocolate.

Today my FI went to a family gathering while I was at work.  A family gathering that involves cake.  Chocolate cake.  FI is on board with no chocolate etc (although I'm the main reason this 'rule' exists).  Anyway, our families know our wishes regarding food and his family constantly makes comments or jokes about it.  I guess at this party his family kept giving him a hard time about not letting my son have chocolate cake. 

Seriously?  He still had fun. IMO he didn't 'miss out'- he's too young to really realize he didn't get what the others had anyway.  I am just sick of people trying to force or bully me into feeding my son crap.  Just because you hand your kid a family size bag of skittles as a babysitter/attention substitute doesn't mean I need to.  Rant over

SarahPLiz

That is very rude of them. 

tidetravel

Uggh.  I know.  I'm going to have this battle with my MIL for years to come,(and to a lesser extent, with DH.)  Just last week I had to tell MIL that Taryn did not need an frozen ice pop.  Yes, her teeth were hurting.  That doesn't mean that frozen sugar will help them. 

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_people-dumb-first-rant-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e3665c3c-65d8-4662-a749-2f46246c340fPost:dadb37ea-31b0-4a46-b926-b716331d3e58">Re: People are dumb (my first rant and kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]My sister's now ex-MIL used to tell my sister it was child abuse to not give my niece candy/cookies/cake after EVERY meal.  My niece was afraid of her until she was 3 or 4 because she would literally scream at her when she wouldn't eat sweets because she just didn't like them (now she's 6 and just hates her).  She sobbed and puked all over herself at her birthday party because sister's ex-MIL shoved cake down her throat . yup.
Posted by kimheartsscott[/QUOTE]

So much of this is just ridiculousness.  (I know that's not a word)

OP, I feel ya, though. My son is almost 20 months now and I'll admit I'll give him a couple bits of a cookie or whatever once in a while, but my FMIL likes to try to give him soda, which makes me crazy! She also kept trying to give him all kinds of candy and chips and other crap last time she was out here. Ugh!

tidetravel

What is it about grandparents that makes them think it's ok to shove a bunch of crap in their grandchildren's mouths? 

I don't want to have to pull the, "MIL, I love you but you can't walk to the end of the street without huffing and puffing, smother every single thing that you eat in butter, and can't breathe in your sleep because you're too fat.  Let's not send LO down the same path quite so early."  card, but I swear to god that one day she's going to make me use it.

LessThanZero

I'm just going to chime in here. And I'll preface this by saying that I don't have kids. I do plan on feeding my children heathy foods, and I do think it's rude for the OP's family to feed the kid unheathy treats against her wishes.

But for the person who asked what makes grandparents always want to feed  kids sweets, I think it comes down to the way they grew up. I don't know how old they are, but people who grew up during the depression or those who grew up as a result of the depression just don't want things to go to waste and want for people to indulge themselves and be happy. I don't know if it's just the family I come form or the people I know, but grandparents are always the "spoilers" in every aspect. They just love their grandchildren and want to give them all sorts fo things.

LIke I said, not saying it wouldn't annoy me if I was try to instill the same rules and someone knowingly, disregarded them. But the grandparents today are sort fo a rare breed of people who grew up in times that most of us have no idea about.

nicleep

I'm glad I'm not the only one who's family (or in-laws) do this!  But to be fair, it was FI younger generation family members, his brothers/brother's gf and cousins (who all have young kids) giving him a hard time!  Jeez!  You would think they'd commend my efforts (which are much more difficult said than done lol).  And I give Kaden little pieces of cookies here and there too- like I said, he gets sweets, just not regularly and he never asks for them (carbs and bread stuff is a whole other story but we keep it as wheat and whole grain as possible ).  We are certainly not the healthiest people ever- but we want to try and help our kids learn good habits as best we can!

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_people-dumb-first-rant-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e3665c3c-65d8-4662-a749-2f46246c340fPost:819fb1ce-869f-4da0-b3c8-b777795eb2d6">Re: People are dumb (my first rant and kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm just going to chime in here. And I'll preface this by saying that I don't have kids. I do plan on feeding my children heathy foods, and I do think it's rude for the OP's family to feed the kid unheathy treats against her wishes. But for the person who asked what makes grandparents always want to feed  kids sweets, I think it comes down to the way they grew up. I don't know how old they are, but people who grew up during the depression or those who grew up as a result of the depression just don't want things to go to waste and want for people to indulge themselves and be happy. I don't know if it's just the family I come form or the people I know, but grandparents are always the "spoilers" in every aspect. They just love their grandchildren and want to give them all sorts fo things. LIke I said, not saying it wouldn't annoy me if I was try to instill the same rules and someone knowingly, disregarded them. But the grandparents today are sort fo a rare breed of people who grew up in times that most of us have no idea about.
Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]

I'd buy that, except we're not talking about our grandparents who grew up in the 1930s.  We're talking about our parents, who are newly grandparents, and grew up well after the Great Depression.  While I do believe that the grandparents are always "the spoilers," I think it has more to do with an "I raised X number of kids,  and I know better than you" attitude, than anything else. 

Many of them also refuse to believe that there are things that we, as a society, have come to learn are better/worse for children than when they were raising their own kids.  The arguments I've heard against these new teachings are usually along the lines of, "Well, we did it and you turned out fine."  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_people-dumb-first-rant-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e3665c3c-65d8-4662-a749-2f46246c340fPost:819fb1ce-869f-4da0-b3c8-b777795eb2d6">Re: People are dumb (my first rant and kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm just going to chime in here. And I'll preface this by saying that I don't have kids. I do plan on feeding my children heathy foods, and I do think it's rude for the OP's family to feed the kid unheathy treats against her wishes. But for the person who asked what makes grandparents always want to feed  kids sweets, I think it comes down to the way they grew up. I don't know how old they are, but people who grew up during the depression or those who grew up as a result of the depression just don't want things to go to waste and want for people to indulge themselves and be happy. I don't know if it's just the family I come form or the people I know, but grandparents are always the "spoilers" in every aspect. They just love their grandchildren and want to give them all sorts fo things. LIke I said, not saying it wouldn't annoy me if I was try to instill the same rules and someone knowingly, disregarded them. But the grandparents today are sort fo a rare breed of people who grew up in times that most of us have no idea about.
Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]

I get what you mean, but my FMIL is 42 (maybe 43). So,definitely not from the depression area. She's the only one who tries to give Emerson crap, though. The rest are more on my side.

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_people-dumb-first-rant-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e3665c3c-65d8-4662-a749-2f46246c340fPost:e282092a-8d25-4692-af06-7aaf0e14661e">Re: People are dumb (my first rant and kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: People are dumb (my first rant and kinda long) : I'd buy that, except we're not talking about our grandparents who grew up in the 1930s.  We're talking about our parents, who are newly grandparents, and grew up well after the Great Depression.  While I do believe that the grandparents are always "the spoilers," I think it has more to do with an <strong>"I raised X number of kids,  and I know better than you" attitude,</strong> than anything else.  Many of them also refuse to believe that there are things that we, as a society, have come to learn are better/worse for children than when they were raising their own kids.  The arguments I've heard against these new teachings are usually along the lines of, <strong>"Well, we did it and you turned out fine." </strong>
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

I hate this! I get it, a lot. I'm sure it doesn't help that FI and I are young.

LessThanZero

Zepp and Tide, I definitely get what you are saying so that makes sense. I guess I'm thinking of old school times. Sorry, But i guess those types of ideas run in families. I'd be pissed too, but you never know where people's routines are coming from. I get it's rude, I'd be pissed too. I just figured I'd throw that out there. I don't know how old the OP is or how old her parents are.

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_people-dumb-first-rant-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e3665c3c-65d8-4662-a749-2f46246c340fPost:beecf95e-1681-407d-9d10-d49a7d919f30">Re: People are dumb (my first rant and kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]Zepp and Tide, I definitely get what you are saying so that makes sense. I guess I'm thinking of old school times. Sorry, But i guess those types of ideas run in families. I'd be pissed too, but you never know where people's routines are coming from. I get it's rude, I'd be pissed too. I just figured I'd throw that out there. I don't know how old the OP is or how old her parents are.
Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]

Actually, in a way, you're right. My grandpa (who was alive during the depression) is in the mindset that it's ok to give dogs table scraps because that's what you did back then. My dog is allergic to poultry, rice, pork, and soy, so she has a special (expensive) food, but he gives her whatever he's eating, so she's overweight and itchy. I know it's not the same as a child, but it's kind of along the same lines.

Blueyed228

I dont know, maybe Im a weirdo, but I dont see a problem with letting kids have a little bit of cake at a birthday party once in awhile .......(but I do agree that 18 months is really young for that)

But I do agree that they shouldnt give you crap about the food choices you make on a daily basis for your kids.  Only you know whats best for your child.

Just out of curiosity, I know 18 months is really young and he doesnt know yet what he is missing out on, but do you plan on continuing that rule as he gets older?  Will he not be allowed to have birthday cake at friends parties etc?  I only ask because growing up I had a friend whos mother wouldn't let him eat ANY sweets ever.  When we had parties his mom sent him with a bag of carrots to eat while we had cupcakes.  It was kind of awkward for him.  If anything, I felt bad for him.  I think he really wanted to have a cupcake........We also had to bring in a healthy choice for him at our school parites.  There were 18 kids so if our mom were making brownies or cookies, she had to make 17 and then an apple or something for Shaun.

nicleep

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_people-dumb-first-rant-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:e3665c3c-65d8-4662-a749-2f46246c340fPost:14f81fa1-6ee6-49af-8a81-5e59fe7e8e22">Re: People are dumb (my first rant and kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I dont know, maybe Im a weirdo, but I dont see a problem with letting kids have a little bit of cake at a birthday party once in awhile .......(but I do agree that 18 months is really young for that) But I do agree that they shouldnt give you crap about the food choices you make on a daily basis for your kids.  Only you know whats best for your child. Just out of curiosity, I know 18 months is really young and he doesnt know yet what he is missing out on, <strong>but do you plan on continuing that rule as he gets older?</strong>  Will he not be allowed to have birthday cake at friends parties etc?  I only ask because growing up I had a friend whos mother wouldn't let him eat ANY sweets ever.  When we had parties his mom sent him with a bag of carrots to eat while we had cupcakes.  It was kind of awkward for him.  If anything, I felt bad for him.  I think he really wanted to have a cupcake........We also had to bring in a healthy choice for him at our school parites.  There were 18 kids so if our mom were making brownies or cookies, she had to make 17 and then an apple or something for Shaun.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
 
We know once he gets to school age he'll be around 'unhealthy food' more and it'll be readily available.  We get that and understand.  I definitely don't want to deprive Kaden of experiencing things with his friends and he'll be 'allowed' to make his own choices (to some degree! :)).  Also, I think completely depriving him of any of that stuff will make him more likely to indulge/crave it when he's older and able.  So we just like to keep things at a happy medium (leaning towards healthy).  But chocolate has caffiene and at 18 months I'm just not comfy with that.  Kaden has had cake (but I do scrap off a lot of icing) and other treats.  Just no candy, chocolate or soda- that's the only 'rules' :)

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_people-dumb-first-rant-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e3665c3c-65d8-4662-a749-2f46246c340fPost:dadb37ea-31b0-4a46-b926-b716331d3e58">Re: People are dumb (my first rant and kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]My sister's now ex-MIL used to tell my sister it was child abuse to not give my niece candy/cookies/cake after EVERY meal.  My niece was afraid of her until she was 3 or 4 because she would literally scream at her when she wouldn't eat sweets because she just didn't like them (now she's 6 and just hates her). <u><strong> She sobbed and puked all over herself at her birthday party because sister's ex-MIL shoved cake down her throat </strong></u>. yup.
Posted by kimheartsscott[/QUOTE]


See now, I would have considered this as an assault and promptly slapped that biitch silly.

felicia220

I don't have children yet, but I can't understand why these people want to give an 18 month old baby cake and soda.  And furthermore why its funny that you don't, that they feel the need to make jokes about.  Its really not that "crazy" and I really hope that My mom and MIL don't do this.  

skippylouwho

When our son, who is now 28, was learning to walk he went to my parents for the weekend. He'd never had pop (we don't call it soda around here) before as we were trying to be sure he only had healthy stuff.  When we picked him up on Sunday we learned my mom had bribed him with root beer to get him to walk. I really appreciated that. 

It wasn't that our kids grew up without sweets, we just didn't have them all the time but we would have cake, cookies, ice cream.  Whatever we did must have worked, neither of our kids are "sweet crazy" or even junk food crazy and neither of them drinks pop or ther sweetened drinks very often at all.

tinydancer842

why is vanilla ice cream ok but chocolate isn't?

nicleep

Chocolate has caffiene.  And ice cream is is small small doses.

katiewhompus

I'm just glad that my parents are on board with "no sweets until the future offspring are older" mindset. H's parent's...not so much. Z consumes a ton of sugar and it makes her already crazy hyper personality go into over drive. She has a treat after every meal (normally 2 hershey's kisses or an oreo cookie) which isn't too bad but still quite a bit of sugar for a 4 year old.
I don't want my kids to touch candy until they are older. I just really don't think it's something that is necessary for them. I also recognize that to have that rule it means I get to eat little to no candy/sugary things as well which I'm fine with.

People always give me the "say what?" look now when I refuse things with gluten in them. The librarians are forever bringing in bagels, cookies, cakes, breads, etc to share and get really offended if I say no thank you and start a tirade about "What? You don't like my cooking?" Um, no. I think you're cooking is fine, but it's going to make me feel like shiit the rest of the day and create issues.