FMIL not communicating

EAJ2011

So my FMIL is hosting the RD. Wonderful, awesome, I'm so glad she wanted to do that. My issue is that she did the invitations with out asking what time the rehearsal was set to start. So when I get my invitation she has set the time of the RD at the same time I had the rehearsal set to start. 

Now I know this is not a big deal in grand scheme of things, and in 6 months I will not remember it. But it's just irritating that she would not ask before setting the time of the RD. I've changed the time of the rehearsal so it should still be accomindating to everyone (or as accomindating as it can be). 

I just needed a place to vent, that's all. 

kmmssg

Has her son made her aware of this yet?

Loopyseven

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fmil-not-communicating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e36dfb0f-f6cc-45b2-b6ec-8dcdabe6aaa6Post:a4f2dde7-fcce-40b2-9757-42b37015200a">FMIL not communicating</a>:
[QUOTE]So my FMIL is hosting the RD. Wonderful, awesome, I'm so glad she wanted to do that. My issue is that she did the invitations with out asking what time the rehearsal was set to start. So when I get my invitation she has set the time of the RD at the same time I had the rehearsal set to start.  Now I know this is not a big deal in grand scheme of things, and in 6 months I will not remember it. But it's just irritating that she would not ask before setting the time of the RD. I've changed the time of the rehearsal so it should still be accomindating to everyone (or as accomindating as it can be).  I just needed a place to vent, that's all. 
Posted by EAJ2011[/QUOTE]

<div>I can see how this would be annoying.  If I was hosting a follow up event that was starting after something else, I'd make sure to confirm the time of the first thing before printing anything.  Glad you're working with it/around it as best you can.</div>

emichele87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fmil-not-communicating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e36dfb0f-f6cc-45b2-b6ec-8dcdabe6aaa6Post:0cf70ab6-2789-42f9-823d-2468ab851099">Re: FMIL not communicating</a>:
[QUOTE]Has her son made her aware of this yet?
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]
 *yes same person as the original post just on my "new" account*<div>
</div><div>I have no idea if he has or not. Honestly I would rather he didn't because I just don't want to deal any fall out. She also did not include an RSVP number on the invitation. </div>

kmmssg

Are you moving your rehearsal earlier?  Will this work for the bridal party or create a lot of inconvenience for them?

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fmil-not-communicating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:e36dfb0f-f6cc-45b2-b6ec-8dcdabe6aaa6Post:f6a0205a-222a-4019-b233-5d974ae489ca">Re: FMIL not communicating</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FMIL not communicating :  *yes same person as the original post just on my "new" account* I have no idea if he has or not. Honestly I would rather he didn't because I just don't want to deal any fall out. She also did not include an RSVP number on the invitation. 
Posted by emichele87[/QUOTE]

How would this create fall out?  He certainly doesn't have to be mean about it but a simple, "Hey Mom, you scheduled the RD for the same time as the rehearsal.  We can move the rehearsal time to earlier but I also noticed that you didn't include any RSVP info.  How are people going to let you know if and who all is coming?"

I said that you can move your rehearsal time (assumed you could) but can you?  If not you are going to have to talk with her about moving the dinner time.  This does not have to be a huge argument as long as your FI and you deal with it calmly.

kathleenweddings

I applaud you for not making a huge issue out of it.  Annoying?  Yes.  But it's impossible to tell from your post if things like this are common behavior from her or if this is a one time mistake.  She may just be excited to have that task and be a part of the plans and in all of her excitement she neglected to think of other events taking place.  Take a step back and try to understand her side of it before getting too upset.  It appears that is what you are doing so continue to enjoy the process.  The merging of family relationships is always a difficult balance.

emichele87

I honestly do not know her very well. Since my FI and I are long distance, and his mother is even further, I do not see her very often. I have tried to get to know her but I have never really had the chance to just spend time with her, so I have no idea what her reaction would be. Thus the reason I do not want it mentioned to her. 

I have been able to move the time of the rehearsal. I had it set to start at 6 and now it's at 5:30. I was trying to give the people in the bridal party who are OOT a chance to get there without having to leave work early. (my OOT people are only 1 away) So hopefully 5:30 will not cause too much of a problem. I am lucky that I could move the time. I am getting married in the church where my dad is the Sr pastor, so I have a bit of leway with getting in and having someone who can lock up!   

pink34562000

My MIL made beautiful invitations for the RD dinner. I asked her if she could fit the rehearsal time and location on it, and she said there wasn't enough room. She showed me the invitation, and there was plenty of room for the rehearsal info. (I didn't want to argue with her nor make it into a big issue.) 

Since the invitations were already designed, I created separate cards for the rehearsal location and time and asked her to put this in with the bridal party invitations only. She did and it worked out fine. I was able to have the bridal party only come to the rehearsal and the other guests, who were not in the wedding, show up to the rehearsal dinner.

You can try this approach (separate rehearsal cards for bridal party only), but you should talk to your FMIL about the incorrect time first.

kmmssg

JACKSON - YOU HAVE SPAMMED THE BOARDS OVER 500 TIMES SINCE YESTERDAY.  REPORTED!!!!