Don't know how to feel

MISSCOURTNEY20

So, my FH has gone to a birthday party for a female friend/church member of his and I am very boggled by this. Not because it is a female, but because I have never met any of his friends. We have been together over a year. He has pretty much met all of my close friends and I invite him to everything unless it is just the girls. I have met 2 coworkers and that's it. He doesn't have many friends and the couple of friends that he invited to our engagement party, didn't come.

I would not be upset if he was just going out with the guys or anything, but he wasn't. I feel like this could have been a perfect opportunity to meet some of his friends/church members.

Am I trippin or do I have a valid point?

luckyme502

Do you feel like he is purposely not having you meet his friends?  FI hasn't meet many of my friends, because he doesn't want too.  He's antisocial.  I haven't meet many of his friends, because he doesn't have any. 

MISSCOURTNEY20

I don't know. He is very shy so the only thing I can think of is that he doesn't want to be the center of questions and introductions.

luckyme502

Have you talked to him about it?  I think if you haven't, that is where I would start if it was me.

katiewhompus

Eh, I might ask him about it when he gets back, just a very non-chalant "So when do I get to meet your friends?". He might have thought he was doing you a favor by not having you go. I know I'm uncomfortable in a setting where the only person I know is Dh and he knows everyone else.

But yeah, Dh and I are anti-social and have no friends

MISSCOURTNEY20

I think I am going to talk to him in the morning. I am a social butterfly. My sister says that I have a "Wanna know me? personality. LOL!! But I would think that he would want me to meet his friends since he has met so many of mine and my family.

jasmineh7777

Personally, that would bug me. If you are engaged, I'd just assume you'd go along with him. My H is shy, but he has still met my friends. He will say Hi, and then usually duck into his office.

kimheartsscott

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dont-feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e43155d8-5254-4961-9e50-3b91f20ae853Post:63d27058-d495-4be8-ad7b-8a3df20fc092">Re: Don't know how to feel</a>:
[QUOTE]Do you feel like he is purposely not having you meet his friends?  FI hasn't meet many of my friends, because he doesn't want too.  He's antisocial.  I haven't meet many of his friends, because he doesn't have any. 
Posted by luckyme502[/QUOTE]

This.  Except I'm the antisocial one, and Scott has way too many friends for me to remember.

[Deleted User]

I think it's strange. I was in a horrible relationship where he wouldn't introduce me to his friends. It made me feel like he was either ashamed of me or wasn't telling his friends that we were as serious as we were. I told him how I felt and he still refused to make me a part of his life with his friends. This lack of respect for my feelings was one of the things that later lead to our break up.

I would talk to him about it. It's possible that he doesn't understand the effect that it has on you. If you share your feelings with him and he still refuses to introduce you then, you may have an issue.

SarahPLiz

I'm with Cew on this one. one of my best friends has been with her BF for almost 5 years, and still hasn't met a lot of his friends and coworkers. It is a major point of conflict for them, because she thinks that he isn't even telling them or giving the impression that they are dating. In fact, he has stayed in contact with a girl he knows is interested in him, the whole time they have been together, and still hasn't told her they are in a relationship because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. Dumbass!

My point is that this can either be handled now, or it can continue and create lots of resentment. You really don't want to start your life together resenting him. I suggest talking to him now.

leayn

I think I would be really pissed if I had been with someone for a year and never met any of their social circle.  Even if your FI is shy, I would think he would still want to introduce his future wife to people he considers his friends...especially his church members.  Did he invite any of these people to the wedding?

MISSCOURTNEY20

Ooooohhh!! And it gets better. I had to get out of my bed @ 1am to go and get him because he got a boot on his car!! If we would have gone out together, that never would have happened because we always take my car. I am so passed pissed right now.

[Deleted User]

Not cool.

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dont-feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e43155d8-5254-4961-9e50-3b91f20ae853Post:ec9c9da9-910a-4888-9e9c-bdf0f70074ec">Re: Don't know how to feel</a>:
[QUOTE]Ooooohhh!! And it gets better. I had to get out of my bed @ 1am to go and get him because he got a boot on his car!! If we would have gone out together, that never would have happened because we always take my car. I am so passed pissed right now.
Posted by MISSCOURTNEY20[/QUOTE]


Ha! You should have told him to have one of his friends bring him home.