Snarky Brides

Update: Not a happy ending

Sorry for the double post....I know many of my old E friends are over here now.

I posted about a month ago that I found out I was pregnant on 10/10/10.  I was told pretty quickly that there were signs with my bloodwork that the pregnancy was not viable.  They suspected a tubal pregnancy, and wanted to give me a chemo shot to end it.  I felt no pain or symptoms and refused the shot.  They kept following up and finally saw that the pregnancy was in my uterus, but the ultrasound could not see the baby.  They had minimal hope that things were ok but I could not end it without a 100% answer.   So I have been living in limbo for over a month, unsure of whether to be happy or sad.

This week I started spotting and cramping.  It got a little worse yesterday and I was put on bed rest.  Last night I woke up at 6am to full on late stage labor pains.  I was completely not expecting that level of pain.  It was the same level of pain that I had the last hour before delivering my daughter.  It lasted for about an hour, and I almost passed out several times.  It was exhausting.  I fell asleep really hard after until about 2pm.

TMI warning: 
 I have not bled that much and I am terrified that it is going to happen again.  I feel ok now and do not want to go to a Vegas ER room on a Saturday night.  I want to be home.  I have an appointment Monday to see if the miscarriage is complete.  

I keep comforting myself with the knowledge that I got pregnant after less than 2 months of going off BCP...so hopefully this was a fluke and I will not have trouble trying to conceive again, which was a worry at my age.   But my heart is definitely hurting:(
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Re: Update: Not a happy ending

  • Oh Sascha I am so sorry for your loss :( *hugs*
  • Oh, I'm so sorry, Sascha! My heart hurts for you. Many many hugs and prayers for your comfort!
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  • edited November 2010
    Oh Sash that sucks. I am so sorry for your loss. 
  • I'm sorry to hear this, Sacha.  T&P to you and your H.
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  • sorry...edit to my pp...I thought the pains lasted for hours. An hour is different, I can see why you might not go to the ER. 
  • I have no words. I'm so sorry to be reading this. I know you don't know me that well but my thoughts and prayers are with you and your H. 
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  • Sascha, im so sorry. Ive been wondering but wasnt sure if I should ask. My heart is hurting for you, this makes me so sad.
  • Sasch =( Much, much love and internet hugs coming your way. I can't even imagine. <3
  • I'm really sorry to hear about this, sash. My thoughts are with you.
  • oh Sascha, I'm sorry.  Hugs.
  • Sasha, I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself and H.
  • Oh hun, I'm sorry :-(  I was thinking of you this weekend and deciding whether I should fb message and see if there was any news, but wasn't sure if it was bad if I wanted to bring it up.  I'm glad you're trying to look at the positives, that it will hopefully be this easy again and will go perfectly next time.

    On a sidenote, me and Scott are trying to come out there this winter.  Any bad times to come, like if there's a bunch of conventions going on at once?
  • So sorry to hear this :-( Sending you lots of good thoughts and love.
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  • Thank you all so much for the kind words...it does help me to feel better.  Even to talk about it.  I told some work people since I had a breakdown there one day after hearing bad news and my bosses needed to know.  But I haven't told H's family, as he preferred not to.  They are a huge family and kind of overbearing with the questions, and things spread like wild fire between them.  

    My husband has been so sweet and it has been really hard on him too.  He bought me baby diapers after we found out.  They are hidden in a closet now.  We kept hoping the baby was off to a slow start.  The past month, he would jokingly do light CPR on my stomach and say "c'mon...you can do it!!"  He felt so helpless last night.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_update-not-happy-ending?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e72f9a87-dbfa-45c9-9e6a-a6b4d0b52afbPost:2925424e-3924-4415-b492-3df5022c9afb">Re: Update: Not a happy ending</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you all so much for the kind words...it does help me to feel better.  Even to talk about it.  I told some work people since I had a breakdown there one day after hearing bad news and my bosses needed to know.  But I haven't told H's family, as he preferred not to.  They are a huge family and kind of overbearing with the questions, and things spread like wild fire between them.   My husband has been so sweet and it has been really hard on him too.  He bought me baby diapers after we found out.  They are hidden in a closet now.  We kept hoping the baby was off to a slow start.  The past month, he would jokingly do light CPR on my stomach and say "c'mon...you can do it!!"  He felt so helpless last night.
    Posted by saschaduran[/QUOTE]
    Your husband sounds so sweet, that made me tear up. Its good that you have eachother to lean on during this.
  • Mocha...December is really cheap before Christmas.  January is busy with conventions and Chinese New Year, and March is busy with conventions and March madness.  Feb should be ok.  Mandy will be here the second week of Feb!  Let me know...I guess I sadly will be able to have a drink with you guys:(
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  • Your husband is such a doll
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_update-not-happy-ending?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e72f9a87-dbfa-45c9-9e6a-a6b4d0b52afbPost:25ea6299-032e-42de-8a32-4d1dba2e936f">Re: Update: Not a happy ending</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Update: Not a happy ending : Your husband sounds so sweet, that made me tear up. Its good that you have eachother to lean on during this.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>:)  He really is amazing.  He has so much baby experience coming from a family of 12 and I can tell him all the gory details.  He is really positive too, which a cynical girl like me needs at a time like this.  </div><div>
    </div><div>He also got more pregnancy symptoms than I did!  He was having stomach problems for a week, nauseated for a few days, craving chocolate (which he hates...I know, he's a freak), and he got super sensitive to my lotion and it started to nauseate him.  But he said he would gladly take all the morning sickness just to not hear me complain, haha.

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  • I wish you so much luck sasha, trying again!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_update-not-happy-ending?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e72f9a87-dbfa-45c9-9e6a-a6b4d0b52afbPost:ce046401-af70-448c-a97c-0d5b97161700">Re: Update: Not a happy ending</a>:
    [QUOTE]Aww, he sounds like a darling!  He'll make a fantastic dad me thinks! 
    Posted by mocha beans[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>He definitely will.  He is so baby crazy.  Never dated anyone like him.  I considered myself done with having kids before we met, but being with him made me want to have a family with him.  

    </div>
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  • Oh Sascha, I'm so sorry.  I'll keep my fingers crossed that you never have to go through anything like that again and that baby happiness will be in the works soon. *hugs*
  • I'm sorry you're going through this.
    I'm not good at feelings.

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  • Your H sounds so awesome Sasha. If you ever need to cry or vent feel free to pm me or message me on FB.

    I never told anyone but you guys and my parents about mine. H's family doesn't know because, as bad as it sounds, I never told him about them.
  • Thank you both.  I know there are so many of us on here who have been through this.  Thanks Katie...I really appreciate that and I am sure I will be taking you up on the offer:)
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  • Hugs. :( I'm so sorry.
  • oh, Sascha, I'm so sorry to hear this.  
  • I am so sorry you are going through this. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You are already a great mom, and I'm sure you will be again.
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