Mothers/ StepMothers

sosterhout

When your children are put to bed, at any age, do you lay, sit with until they are asleep? Tuck them in and say goodnight? Sit for 5 minutes? and what about if they woke up coughing? A bad dream?

katiewhompus

My parents always did. They would come and read with me until I fell asleep up until 10ish (the books just got longer lol). From 10-15 one of them would always poke their heads in the room to say goodnight.

Coughing no, unless I called for them, same with bad dream.

Sil will lay with Z (she's 4) until she falls asleep, especially in a strange place.

sucrets4

My baby is 6 months old, so it's definintely not the same, but I nurse her to sleep and then lay with her for a bit.

That would be creepy with a 6 year old, though.

needle&thread

When my baby was tiny, I breastfed him for 3 months...he was usually asleep when I took him off me.  I would burp him and make sure he was not wet...(all of 5 minutes).  I was more prone to laying next to him and checking on him in the middle of the night.

Now my baby boy is pubescent and harmonal with hair on stuff; no chance I'm laying next to him for any long period of time, but I do check to make sure he is totally under the covers (tucked) and the room isn't cold (snug).  I wake when he coughs (give him medicine) and I always know when he is having a bad dream (I will wake him and make him turn over).  If I get hot in the summer, I get up and turn on his air conditioner--I still treat him like my baby--whatever I feel, he is probably feeling too. 

The checking up is just a part of being a mom...once they are born you're a mom for life...no givebacks or takebacks.  You are not overly motherly or anything--the way you feel just comes with the territory.

I just found out my son still sleeps with his Timon and Pumbaa (Lion King)--don't tell anybody, okay?


S and CJ

nicleep

When my son was a newborn I nursed him to sleep and often fell asleep too but mostly I would put him in his bassinet right next to my bed after he ate and was already asleep.  My son is now 18 months and sleeps in his crib with no problems (in fact he won't even nap with me anymore!). He gets a song and then he's tucked in and we leave the room- he falls asleep on his own.

My (soon-to-be) stepdaughter is now 9 (today was her bday!) when I first came into the picture she slept in bed with her dad (recently divorced parents, random parenting time and she didn't have her own room) but was much younger.  That didn't last long but even after she got her own room she had issues for a month or so sleeping on her own.  We were consistant and she quickly adapted.  Now she gets tucked in but we don't stay until she's asleep.

SarahPLiz

Holy badge count, needle! Whew!

I used to lay with my ex's little girl to get her to sleep until she was about 2. Then her mom said not to do it anymore so I didn't, and she was fine. We just had to make sure we were consistent at both houses. Sometimes I still took a nap with her, though, after she was already asleep, because that little booger always wore me out!

ohwhynot

I'll lay down with my children and talk/cuddle for as long as they want me to.  It's fulfilling some need they have and I'm not going to say they're "too old" for it - obviously they're NOT too old for it if they are still wanting to cuddle with Mom.  Eventually, they'll not want Mom in bed with them before they fall asleep (it's already happened with getting dressed, taking baths, etc - it'll happen when it's time to happen). 

For now, my 9 year old daughter and esp. my 10 year old son want me to lie down and chat a bit before they go to sleep.  For my son, it's the time when we get the most serious talking done.  I don't stay there until they fall asleep (although they'd like it if I did), just because it would drive me crazy, I have other things to do, and I want some alone time with my husband, too.  But I do spend at least 10 minutes with them.  

My son  is a lot more likely to wake in the middle of the night and ask me to "keep him company" until he falls back asleep, too.  My daughter generally won't, unless she's having a bad dream - then she'll want me to lie down with her until she feels better and goes back to sleep.  

As long as they are developmentally on track, I do believe there will come a time when your kids no longer want/need that night time attention.