This weekend, H and I attended what is likely to be the last wedding we will attend for some time. We have been to five weddings this year in addition to our own, all really pretty nice. Then there was this one. She is a coworker of H's. I am glad she is definitely NOT on this site (said she saw TK once and hated it) because I can share this spectacle with all of you. Maybe I am just being a judgmental bitch, but all I could say at the end of the night was "wow". Even H was startled, and that takes some doing. Some highlights:
1. The bride was so drunk at the ceremony she slurred her vows. I thought she was just nervous til we actually smelled the booze.
2. However, I might be drunk too if I had "friends" like hers: the MOH got up and made a speech that included a "joke" that now that the bride was married, her whore days were over. No, really she did!
3. The groom complained out loud that they had spent a lot of money on food and it looked like people had been cheap with gifts.
4.Cash bar (don't care for them and would not do it, but okay not a deal breaker at all for us) that ran out of booze one hour into the reception. I have literally never heard of that.
5. I am never one to complain on food, particularly wedding food but we had burnt lasagne. It was absolutely the ickiest meal I have had at any event in some time. I am sure the bride wants to kill that vendor. Half-eaten plates were everywhere.
6. There was a dollar dance. If you had one, well sorry to offend but I think they are dreadful-and I never see them here. The bride nearly fell down during the dancing because she was so drunk. Then again, between her groom, her MOH and that meal maybe the drunkenness was understandable!
7. The BM's were wearing orange sparkle dresses. The weirdest outfits I have ever seen on a bridal party. H never notices women's clothes and said they were not ugly so much as weird. If you love orange, cool but with the sparkle and the love for sale style of the dresses they were just plain odd.
8. The groom was seriously flirting with women. He was pretty drunk, too. I wonder where he and the bride were getting the booze since they had run out.
9. In a grand moment, a groomsman puked on the dance floor. We left about then, social obligation met.
I think we are both glad we are done with weddings for awhile. Oh, and future brides take heart whatever you are nervous about in your wedding, I am sure it will be wonderful next to this hot mess! At least her dress and flowers were nice. I actually feel for the bride, drunk and all. Sad she married an asshat.
