Why so rude?

Jessa617

Why is everyone on this site so rude? Let me rephrase- why are there so many "advice givers" that respond in such a rude manner? I see a lot of brides-to-be on this site asking for legitimate help and there are very few people who are willing to actually give a real answer to their questions. It seems that every post gets turned around on the poster on why they are selfish or what they are doing wrong. There's a way to disagree without being a b*tch. Just needed to vent. Planning a wedding is stressful enough as it is, nobody needs the attitude that everyone seems to be getting from posters. Like I said, we came on here looking for advice not to get lectures.

Angelface225

There's always trolls on every online community. However, it has been my experience that most of this community is helpful and polite unless you ask hot topic questions. There are some basic etiquette rules that should not be broken, and if you think otherwise you'll hear about it!

Angelface225

I also don't understand why everyone comes to this board to complain about the other boards.... We're the nicest people. ;-)

Jessa617

I've read quite a few posts today and before the original poster could respond to any of the suggestions people were being rude. Some people don't realize they are doing something wrong when they ask their question, I just don't understand why people to respond in such a way that would personally turn me away from the site. Luckily I haven't had too many rude responses but other people have. I just think there's a better way to tell somebody that what they think is probably not the best idea, or it may in fact be selfish. I don't know, that's just my opinion of what I've seen today. There's a right way and a wrong way to tell someone that what they are asking about is not the proper way to do things etc.

freebread03

I think it's ironic that you said that people come on here and give each other "lectures"--it seems that is exactly what you just did in your post-lecture people, and call them rude, and called them a b*tch.  Do you not think that coming into a room of strangers (which is kind of what an online message board is) and lecturing them on their behavior and calling them names is not all of the things that you say isn't right?  #winning

Jessa617

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_why-so-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f3596ec9-7430-4174-9250-39b26e300acdPost:5253246b-1740-48d0-bd57-65f64a99f76b">Re: Why so rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]I also don't understand why everyone comes to this board to complain about the other boards.... We're the nicest people. ;-)
Posted by Angelface225[/QUOTE]

Yes, so far you guys have been nice... but I didn't quite know what "category" this post would go under so I took a stab and stuck it here.  

Jessa617

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_why-so-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f3596ec9-7430-4174-9250-39b26e300acdPost:e63355c4-3e76-427d-8dc2-25ba8bfb426b">Re: Why so rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's ironic that you said that people come on here and give each other "lectures"--it seems that is exactly what you just did in your post-lecture people, and call them rude, and called them a b*tch.  Do you not think that coming into a room of strangers (which is kind of what an online message board is) and lecturing them on their behavior and calling them names is not all of the things that you say isn't right?  #winning
Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]

I suppose I should have written "b*tchy". I don't know anyone personally on this site, I don't judge anyone as a PERSON. I am judging them on their etiquette. Some people are really clueless as to how to plan a wedding and all they want is help. Sure, the question may seem stupid to you or someone else, but to them all they want is help. I just wanted to vent somewhere, and I didn't know where to do it.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_why-so-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f3596ec9-7430-4174-9250-39b26e300acdPost:3c3a6d02-f7c1-44b6-a253-8bb4080790ff">Re: Why so rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why so rude? : I suppose I should have written "b*tchy". I don't know anyone personally on this site, I don't judge anyone as a PERSON. I am judging them on their etiquette. Some people are really clueless as to how to plan a wedding and all they want is help. Sure, the question may seem stupid to you or someone else, but to them all they want is help. I just wanted to vent somewhere, and I didn't know where to do it.
Posted by Jessalyn2013[/QUOTE]

If you dont know anyone personally on this board, why did you choose this one to "b*tch" on?

If you have a problem on another board take it out there, dont wander here and vent. We have had very few actual wedding questions in a while. So specifics please.

Jessa617

It wasn't this board that I found the rudeness on, it was other topics. Maybe I don't quite understand the point of this board just yet. But if there were a board that said "Post here to vent", I most surely would have gone there instead.
Maybe someone could be helpful and tell me where I should be venting....

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_why-so-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f3596ec9-7430-4174-9250-39b26e300acdPost:84ce0a2d-8fc0-4478-b44c-8fe0dd320ba5">Re: Why so rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]It wasn't this board that I found the rudeness on, it was other topics. Maybe I don't quite understand the point of this board just yet. But if there were a board that said "Post here to vent", I most surely would have gone there instead. Maybe someone could be helpful and tell me where I should be venting....
Posted by Jessalyn2013[/QUOTE]

You should vent on the board the issue happened on. If you lurk and see past posts on this board it's mostly Good morning and Merry Christmas threads. Not much wedding related going on.

It's like walking into a room full of strangers and yelling at them about something someone they dont know did yesterday to piss you off. Makes no sense. We've asked you to share the thread this happened on and you havent.

Why dont you just not vent, accept that maybe the question was stupid, or they really are mean, and lurk a bit till you find the dynamics of a board. OR better yet, just introduce yourself here and get to know us, then maybe ask if your idea would be considered rude, or a better way to handle it.

I will never get people and the need to "vent" to total strangers.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_why-so-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f3596ec9-7430-4174-9250-39b26e300acdPost:66e3a29c-0208-49bd-9b0f-e3f9c041856a">Re: Why so rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]There used to be a homeless man I'd pass on my way to work with a sign that said, "Tell me off, $5", maybe OP could use his services. Cheapest therapist in NY.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

HA! That is awesome. I wonder if anyone took him up on it?

Jessa617

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_why-so-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f3596ec9-7430-4174-9250-39b26e300acdPost:66e3a29c-0208-49bd-9b0f-e3f9c041856a">Re: Why so rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]There used to be a homeless man I'd pass on my way to work with a sign that said, "Tell me off, $5", maybe OP could use his services. Cheapest therapist in NY.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

Now that would be perfect!

Thanks everyone else for the advice. Your points have been taken and I've learned my lesson.

kd.joseph

Can I vent that my posts are centered, annoying!

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_why-so-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f3596ec9-7430-4174-9250-39b26e300acdPost:fe199a02-c3c5-4657-b5ac-6b7049ae4513">Re: Why so rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why so rude? : Now that would be perfect! Thanks everyone else for the advice. Your points have been taken and I've learned my lesson.
Posted by Jessalyn2013[/QUOTE]

You seem reasonable and levelheaded, why dont you start over and tell us about yourself? Intro?

brittany634

only on yours KD, it's not centered when I look at it

ConKFA319

It's not centered when I look at it either. 

HI KD!!!!

Also, agreed. OP, introduce yourself!

Jessa617

Thank you for being so understanding: My name is Jess and I'm from Boston. I am getting married in April which is approaching much too quickly! I come on here mostly to see what people are doing for beauty (day of make-up), pre-wedding skin routines, DIY ideas, and also to find proper etiquette in certain things. I've learned from my own mistakes so I also come on here to see if any other brides-to-be have the same questions that I did and maybe offer my own advice.

brittany634

Liatris- I can't use either, dang skin issues, I am allergic to the world, and have obnoxiously sensitive skin, so I have to use expensive stuff so I don't break out

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_why-so-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f3596ec9-7430-4174-9250-39b26e300acdPost:f2b23d08-1b0d-4bd2-854f-e80c99c4ce94">Re: Why so rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not centered when I look at it either.  HI KD!!!! Also, agreed. OP, introduce yourself! :)
Posted by ConKFA319[/QUOTE]

HI CON!

Jess- happy to meet ya! Yes, April will be here before you know it.

My only advice is if you do anything new to your skin or hair,make sure its a few weeks in advance. And I would pay more again for my air brush make-up it stayed on for over 11 hours in 95 SC weather,well worth it.

Jessa617

Liatris- what an adorable doggy! I used to be a vet tech so I love all animals.

I haven't started using any products yet. I use dove for my body, but for my face I use neutrogena "stress acne" scrub. I am starting to break out now and I'm not overly concerned since I still have 113 days according to The Knot. I too am budget-minded and I find that most things you can buy at the local store can work just as well as the expensive brands. I'm not the type of person to put a lot of product on my face, or even use makeup for that matter. I wash my face in the morning and that's it. I don't use moisturizers, toners, or masks. I think I'm just lazy.

ConKFA319

You see? I go and organize stuff under my coffee table and I miss all this. Hi Jess! Nice to met ya
Have you tried oil cleansing? It sounds counterintuitive, I know, but I SWEAR my skin has never been better. Ever.

ETA: And that smushy face down in my sig is my baby puppy Destiny. Not that I ever call her that, she has about a bajillion other nicknames that I call her instead. And I say "baby" because she's my baby, but she's a big girl. Like, 80 pounds, big.

ConKFA319

PUPPY FRIENDS!!!

Basically, you put a little bit of warm water on your face, and then oil. You rub the oil into your face for about 2 minutes, and then rinse with the hottest water you can stand (on a washcloth), until your face doesn't feel greasy anymore. The nice thing is you can personalize your oil blend to suit your skin. I think my mixture right now is 3 parts castor oil, one part grapeseed oil, one part avocado oil, and...I forget what the other oil is. But there are 4 oils in my blend. I know, I'm so helpful :P

ETA: I think this explains it better: >clicky<

ETA part deux: I'm ETA-ing a lot today. Blarg.

Jessa617

What about those pesky red bumps behind the upper arms....does anyone else get those? exfoliating does not help =(

I am a pet person. Unfortunately my landlord does not allow dogs so I have a hamster for now. I hope to extend my animal family someday! 

Jessa617

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_why-so-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f3596ec9-7430-4174-9250-39b26e300acdPost:0c374a43-dcc9-4b30-a1d2-9b2026dd8bfb">Re: Why so rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]You see? I go and organize stuff under my coffee table and I miss all this. Hi Jess! Nice to met ya :)<strong> Have you tried oil cleansing</strong>? It sounds counterintuitive, I know, but I SWEAR my skin has never been better. Ever. ETA: And that smushy face down in my sig is my baby puppy Destiny. Not that I ever call her that, she has about a bajillion other nicknames that I call her instead. And I say "baby" because she's my baby, but she's a big girl. Like, 80 pounds, big.
Posted by ConKFA319[/QUOTE]

Where do you get these oils? Based on another post, I assume these are not your local grocery store oils!

brittany634

Liastris- yup, any dove products make me break out- On my face I can only use cetaphil products. and sometimes aveno lotion, but not everyday.

For body wash I use st. ives oatmeal- hypo allergenic. Can't use anything scented, not only because of my skin but becasue it gives me migraines, I'm a mess.

as for the oil, I have super dry skin, but i'd be nervous to use it because of my skin issues.

Angelface225

See, this is why I love this board! This post went in a totally different direction than what I was expecting!!

brittany634

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_why-so-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f3596ec9-7430-4174-9250-39b26e300acdPost:8ea5edee-bc14-4311-a900-033588903ac0">Re: Why so rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]Con-  Does the oil method remove makeup as well?  I swear, I can't even get harsh soaps to remove all of my makeup. When I dry my face off, my towel always has residue on it.
Posted by kodakitty[/QUOTE]

What kind of makeup are you using?

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_why-so-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f3596ec9-7430-4174-9250-39b26e300acdPost:005073ee-0f44-48e0-a010-b3878bb0576b">Re: Why so rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]What about those pesky red bumps behind the upper arms....does anyone else get those? exfoliating does not help =( I am a pet person. Unfortunately my landlord does not allow dogs so I have a hamster for now. I hope to extend my animal family someday! 
Posted by Jessalyn2013[/QUOTE]

The only thing I can suggest is change your deodorant. I use Dove,but it sounds like razor burn to me, maybe switch to the the razor with the soap attached.


Meet my Atticus! He's about 68.1 lbs now and 10 months old.
<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/3/e4e33ecf-b1bd-4664-a3a4-002c01c2d508.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/3/e4e33ecf-b1bd-4664-a3a4-002c01c2d508.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

Jessa617

KD- These bumps are actually on my arms...although I do get them under my arms too. I have sensitive skin when it comes to a razor.

I love dobies! They can be great dogs!

ConKFA319

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_why-so-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f3596ec9-7430-4174-9250-39b26e300acdPost:5ea586b8-eff3-494c-aa0b-6ce420e57b16">Re: Why so rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why so rude? : Where do you get these oils? Based on another post, I assume these are not your local grocery store oils!
Posted by Jessalyn2013[/QUOTE]

<div>I got mine at Whole Foods in the skincare section. They're a little pricey when you first buy them, but you need so little of it when you use it that it lasts forever.</div>

ConKFA319

KODAAAA!!!!

It does, for the most part. The only thing it's not great at removing is my 24-hour eyeliner. I still have to use makeup remover or Vaseline for that.

Brit, it's super gentle. I have the skin from hell, and it actually helped my face clear up after my last skin freak-out (I was allergic to my foundation, and I ended up with a rash all the way across my face. Which scabbed. TMI, probably, but whatever). It's the only way I wash my face now. And for moisturizing, I use raw shea butter or just another little bit of avocado oil.

ETA (WHYYYY CAN'T I STOP DOING THIS???): Jess, google Keratosis Pilaris. I have it, and I have tried a few different things to combat it. The first thing is a body lotion/cream called KP Duty, which works pretty well, especially in conjunction with the KP Duty scrub, and the other thing is - you guessed it - oil cleansing. They both work about the same.