Desperately seeking attention, party of one

MarriedInAFever

I feel terrible today. I may just have to crawl back into bed.

Does anyone have a joke or a story to comfort me?

goheels05

This is kind of offensive but it makes me laugh every time.




I hope your day gets better.  So does tapdancing Jesus.

zippityb

MIAF.

That's all I got.

ohwhynot

Tell it to Steve, he'll listen:

http://www.steveburnsrocks.us/multimedia/Videos/SteveBurns_affirm002.mov

maratea

TAP DANCING JESUS!

MIAF, my dog ran into the wall last night while chasing her tail. Then when she recovered from that, she tried to chase her tail while sitting in her chair. She's not very smart.

mrscarter052011

LOL @ Heels.

My daughter (5 years old) wore a sundress , her fleece robe and sunglasses to school today.  You should have seen the stares I got in the parking lot.  But it makes me laugh and she is happy to be expressing herself.

[Deleted User]

They climbing in your windows. Snatching your people up. Hide your kids. Hide your wife. Hide your kids. Hide your wife. And hide your husbands cause they raping errrbody out here.

MarriedInAFever

You guys are the best! I love Christ on a cracker. I accept Zip's love. My stupid media player will not support Steve Burns.

loop0406

How does a man keep his youth?
By giving them money, furs and diamonds.

zippityb

Our cats wrestled for us last night. They'll go from licking each other's heads to putting each other in a headlock, to more licking, to more wrestling. I'm thinking of cancelling my satellite service and just watching them.

MarriedInAFever

These are great. I love stupid dog and cute kid stories.

ohwhynot

A kid story:

My son brattily told my daughter "Nastassja, the Tooth Fairy is Mom."
She thought that over for a while and then answered "No way.  Mom couldn't get to all those houses!"

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_desperately-seeking-attention-party-of-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f49e73cb-79d8-451c-ba6b-21c50e8b8de1Post:aeaf2c79-f87e-4149-80e4-59a9eca07ea9">Re: Desperately seeking attention, party of one</a>:
[QUOTE]They climbing in your windows. Snatching your people up. Hide your kids. Hide your wife. Hide your kids. Hide your wife. And hide your husbands cause they raping errrbody out here.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

This song has been in my head for days... dammit, Antoine.

MarriedInAFever

Zip, your sig is STILL cracking me up. I love it so.

OWN, you daughter is obviously very smart.

J&K10910

We had a really bad storm last night, like trees in the middle of the road, missing chunks of fence storm.  At one point, we heard the cat meowing so I went downstairs to find her.  She was sitting at the bottom of the steps that go to the basement door, meowing like "Isn't it time to go down here now?"  Luckily there were no tornadoes, but it was kind of funny, especially because the few times we've had to go down there, we've had a hell of a time gettnig her in her carrier to take her down.

maratea

If you like offensive yet funny, check out Jon Lajoie.

www.jonlajoie.com

You have to watch his video titled "Try Not Giving a Fuuck."

JenGin74

I vote that you crawl back in bed with some popcorn and candy and watch girl movies all day.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_desperately-seeking-attention-party-of-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f49e73cb-79d8-451c-ba6b-21c50e8b8de1Post:aeaf2c79-f87e-4149-80e4-59a9eca07ea9">Re: Desperately seeking attention, party of one</a>:
[QUOTE]They climbing in your windows. Snatching your people up. Hide your kids. Hide your wife. Hide your kids. Hide your wife. And hide your husbands cause they raping errrbody out here.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

Ive been singing this for days now. I love it. Adam and I went to watch meteors lastnight and I was singing it. Perfect star gazing music.

MVJP10

Why don't blind men skydive?


It scares the shiit out of the dog.

goheels05

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_desperately-seeking-attention-party-of-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f49e73cb-79d8-451c-ba6b-21c50e8b8de1Post:c42464b1-8ebf-4930-992b-59512b7ba7fa">Re: Desperately seeking attention, party of one</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't blind men skydive? It scares the shiit out of the dog.
Posted by MVJP10[/QUOTE]


DED

MarriedInAFever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_desperately-seeking-attention-party-of-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f49e73cb-79d8-451c-ba6b-21c50e8b8de1Post:c42464b1-8ebf-4930-992b-59512b7ba7fa">Re: Desperately seeking attention, party of one</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't blind men skydive? It scares the shiit out of the dog.
Posted by MVJP10[/QUOTE]

That is a good one!

Mara, this Jon Lajoie video is great. How have I missed this guy?

Starmusica

mrscarter- you are fabulous! I love that you are allowing her to pick her own style! Its better to teach her its ok to be her! I love it!

maratea

I think he's Canadian or something. They're so easy to miss/ignore.

MarriedInAFever

He is hilarious.

Jen, I think I'm going to take your advice. I was just walking around groaning anyway.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_desperately-seeking-attention-party-of-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f49e73cb-79d8-451c-ba6b-21c50e8b8de1Post:2954e207-5aec-462a-bf97-86a53bc16cfc">Re: Desperately seeking attention, party of one</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Desperately seeking attention, party of one : Ive been singing this for days now. I love it. Adam and I went to watch meteors lastnight and I was singing it. Perfect star gazing music.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

Matt and I watched it so much that we started to actually like the song.

ldybug252000

My SO/FI was trapped in his storage last night for over an hr.. (thats in the middle of nowhere i might add).... his code wouldnt work and it was after hours so he called the 24hr emergency hotline and she couldnt help him... she told him to walk out through the gate (locks behind you as you leave) and go home and come back in the morning and pick up his car... he didnt take that very well, lol

He is 1200 miles away from me at the current moment, moving the rest of his belongs over here, so i couldnt come to the rescue!

long story short, she told him to call the police, they have a master key, lol

thats how he got out

MarriedInAFever

J&K, your cat sounds like Lassie.

ldybug, glad he finally got out!

The Antoine Dodson remixes are so good and catchy.

staceytaylor0704

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_desperately-seeking-attention-party-of-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f49e73cb-79d8-451c-ba6b-21c50e8b8de1Post:24ba09d5-f634-4f39-b956-67fb4458fe2e">Re: Desperately seeking attention, party of one</a>:
[QUOTE]My SO/FI was trapped in his storage last night for over an hr.. (thats in the middle of nowhere i might add).... his code wouldnt work and it was after hours so he called the 24hr emergency hotline and she couldnt help him... she told him to walk out through the gate (locks behind you as you leave) and go home and come back in the morning and pick up his car... he didnt take that very well, lol He is 1200 miles away from me at the current moment, moving the rest of his belongs over here, so i couldnt come to the rescue! long story short, she told him to call the police, they have a master key, lol thats how he got out
Posted by ldybug252000[/QUOTE]

Oh my word! Glad he made it out

zippityb

I think the Antoine Dodson song just proves that ANYONE can "sing" with autotune. If I were Ke$ha, I'd be pissed that people were paying attention to the man behind the curtain.

MarriedInAFever

So true, Zip. I saw Ke$ha on SNL and she was so, so, SO terrible. I think she's terrible on the radio, but live? Wow.

jasmineh7777

Would some pigs racing cheer you up at all?