Snarky Brides

A bit of a predicament (WR)

Good morning! (Good afternoon to some of you!)

CN: I don't know if I should invite my brother's ex to the wedding. She used to be good friends with my brother and I, but I don't want to create an awkward situation. I am also planning on inviting her sister and BIL, so I don't want to be rude by leaving her out.

Here's some background info:

My brother dated this girl, Jay, for about 3 years. They broke up probably 5-6 years ago. It was a rough break up, but after a while they went back to being friends and Jay continued to hang out with our group of friends. Jay's sister, Heather, also used to hang out with our group of friends.

After a while, my brother started dating another girl. Jay was hurt and stopped hanging out with us. A little while after that, Heather got married. She invited my brother, myself, and our parents to her wedding (Her husband also hung out with our same group of friends). Earlier this year, she also invited me to her baby shower.

My brother and I aren't really close with Heather or her husband anymore, but we definitely still consider them friends. I am planning on inviting both of them to the wedding.

The tricky part comes with Jay. I was going to invite Jay, as well, but I don't want to create awkward situations or upset anyone. Jay purposely distanced herself from our group because it was too hard on her to be around my brother. I don't want to open that up for her again. On the other hand, I don't want to be rude by inviting her sister and BIL and not her.

Oh, I should note, I've talked to my brother about this and he doesn't know what to do either. It would not bother him to have Jay there, but he doesn't want to make things awkward for her.

What do you guys think? Invite her or no?

(Oh, and I'm asking this far out because I'm going to be sending out save the dates pretty soon)
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Re: A bit of a predicament (WR)

  • Honestly, if you brother doesn't have a problem with it and her family members will be coming, I would probably invite her and let her decide whether or not to come.
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  • What about inviting her with a plus one? if she had a date or good friend with her, perhaps it would be less awkward. If she still feels uncomfortable, I'm sure she would RSPV with regrets.
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  • Go ahead and invite her, if she's uncomfortable with the situation she'll decline.
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  • I think you should invite her since your brother is ok with it. If she thinks it's going to be hard or upset her then she will have the option to not come.

    Are they local where you could get away with not sending her a save the date and get a feeling for what happens?
  • MIAF - That's what I've been leaning towards doing. I just wasn't sure.

    Petra - I will definitely give her a plus one.
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  • I'd invite her and leave the ball in her court as to whether or not she accepts the invitation and attends.
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  • Katie - She's in WI.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bit-of-predicament-wr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f4e5290a-f849-407f-a664-4aa8c16c830ePost:87cfe3c9-7103-410c-9213-06199634eddb">Re: A bit of a predicament (WR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]MIAF - That's what I've been leaning towards doing. I just wasn't sure. Petra - I will definitely give her a plus one.
    Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]

    This sounds very reasonable.
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  • Well, that was easy enough! Thanks, Ladies!
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