Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO

MeaghanandMichael

Dear Mike,

I really love you tons, but not AS much when you leave the wrappers of THREE bandaids all over the sink for me to find this morning. Were you drunk when shaving? I know I should be concerned about your loss of blood, but I am more worried that you could not find the trash 10 inches down from the sink counter.

Also, please change the alarm tone on your new phone. The current one makes me want to throw babies.

Your ever adoring wife,
Meaghan

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Dearest Ben,

Please do not come back after this weekend sans front tooth.  Vegas is awesome and all - but your friends are BSC.

Love you!

-Dani

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:904a0191-3990-4f4a-a3d8-a012eb87377c">Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Mike, I really love you tons, but not AS much when you leave the wrappers of THREE bandaids all over the sink for me to find this morning. Were you drunk when shaving? I know I should be concerned about your loss of blood, but I am more worried that you <strong>could not find the trash 10 inches down</strong> from the sink counter. Also, please change the alarm tone on your new phone. The current one makes me want to throw babies. Your ever adoring wife, Meaghan
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

This drives me insane.

Dear Steve-
         When I tell you last night that I have to work 5-9 <strong>PM</strong> tomorrow, dont wake me up at 6 AM to ask me when I have to be at work.
Your lucky you're cute,
Kim

BecW2be

Dear DH,

I love you to pieces, but if you are going to wake me up at 4:15am for some snuggling before you leave for work, we are going to have to go to bed before midnight. HOWTHEFUCK have you functioned for so long with so little sleep?!? You're killing me, dude!

Love,
Your sleepy wife

MISSCOURTNEY20

Dear Lawrence,
I am not, by far, trying to be a pushy fiance. But you really need to call this high school about this photography job. The advice I gave you earlier in the week worked out, so why not try this? I keep telling you that you have a person with a brain on the other side of the bed. I think I showed you that this morning when you were wondering how the bugs were getting in and I pulled your attention to the fact that you hadn't pulled the screen down when you took the ac out of the window.

Your loving bride-to-be,
Courtney

Night_Sprite

Dear H,

I'm sorry you don't feel good, but I can't fix you.  You are bringing me down.  Buck up.

Thanks,

Your crab face wife.

number55

Dear FI...

Please don't give me that look every time I ask you to discuss something WR. The time has come, we are 30 days out, there is *hit to be done and it can't be put off and I know you don't always want to do it but I have too long a list to put it all off all of the time...I know that I am the ONLY person who cares about all these details, I know I am anal and that I care too much about tiny, obscure things that nobody will ever notice. I get it. It is just the way I am. So for me, please just play along.

Love, M

jasmineh7777

Dear H,
 If you don't quit throwing my clean laundry out of the dryer and onto the floor, I will hurt you. Seriously. You will come home tonight and be missing one arm from every shirt you own.
  With intent to act,
 Jasmine

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:4c7f726f-aaed-4d4d-a5df-c2bb4ce0c210">Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear FI, I love you, and you are amazing. Now if I can just break you of the habit of occasionally referring to women as "skirts", we'll be set.  Love, Steph
Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]

I would expect this from Don Draper, not someone as young as your FI. Tell him that line went out in the 50's he wasnt alive then so he cant use it........add dames to the list also.

COkristi

Dearest Scott,

Two things. First, if you let your stupid buddy that you know I don't like invite himself over for Sunday football again, I will come out with a baseball bat. It's the only day we get to see each other for more than 2 hours and I want you all to myself. Second, quit freaking throwing my clothes on the closet floor if someone is coming over. It is possible to simply shut our bedroom door.

xo,
Kristi

SarahPLiz

Dear R,

"OK, get naked" is not the best way to convince me that we need to have sex, again, when I am already asleep. I thought you had figured that out already. 

Also, your habit of starting to pack your suitcase 30 minutes before you walk out the door to the airport is going to get on my nerves the rest of our lives. I just thought you should be prepared. 

Have fun in SF! Remember that Ghiradeli Square is a wonderful place and you should bring home lots of souvenirs..

Love,

S

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:27622bc7-fa74-47a6-b8c1-8e88ea6abf7f">Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]FI, your cat needs to die, that is all.  LOL
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

Watch it now! You have a lot of cat lovers here. Dont make me come to Florida!

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:3f029cf3-1ce6-4e5f-935b-75b64fdd5c37">Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO : Haha. I would, but I tease him all the time for being so old (he's 12 years older than me), so I can't turn around and tell him he's too young now. It's my only source for witty comebacks!
Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]

Yeah well I'm older then him, so you can tell him "I" said so!

stephl3055

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:69add1c7-b7e1-443d-8601-a133fb0f930b">Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]Please start cleaning up your toothpaste from the counter, sink, and mirror. For real.
Posted by Steph0871[/QUOTE]

This has to be a guy thing.  How in the world does someone get toothpaste on the mirror, especially like 1 foot above the sink? 

Dear DH,

We have 2 sinks in our bathroom.  We made sure to get a house with 2 sinks.  So use YOUR sink for once!  Everytime I come in the bathroom you're hanging over my sink with your face 2 inches from the mirror because you're popping this or plucking that. 

I ask you to go to your sink and then you complain it's too dark on your side to see.  Why is it too dark?  Oh yeah, because you removed half of the lightbulbs from your light fixture because you wanted "to save money." 

Thanks,
Wife who doesn't know whether to laugh or punch you

Night_Sprite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:76dc7117-e403-4051-b89a-57ece5284df2">Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]Why are men such babies when they are sick? H always wants to hug me when ill, and I just want him to keep his damn germs away from me.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]
Last night H was trying to hug and kiss me after he told me he felt gross.  Yeah, let's make out.  That sounds like a great plan.  Then he was wounded when I wouldn't.  So dumb.

vegasgroom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:31097c52-969b-496d-a02f-e48172650657">Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO : Watch it now! You have a lot of cat lovers here. Dont make me come to Florida!
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

No one would love this cat, other than FI, it is a menace that everyone hates (literally, not exaggerating).  I used to have a cat too, an ex and I got it together and when we split up I told her you're not taking it, so I'm not anti-cats, just hate this one.  Her whole family hates it too, whenever my future inlaws come over or we're all together, they ask if the cat is dead yet LOL. 

Anysunrise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:30af5919-1e66-4012-8377-32272ac9839a">Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO : Yeah well I'm older then him, so you can tell him "I" said so!
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

Lol, will do =D

MISSCOURTNEY20

I am so loving these!!

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:9ca587a2-381a-4fa3-bd83-a2b497e385fd">Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO : No one would love this cat, other than FI, it is a menace that everyone hates (literally, not exaggerating).  I used to have a cat too, an ex and I got it together and when we split up I told her you're not taking it, so I'm not anti-cats, just hate this one.  Her whole family hates it too, whenever my future inlaws come over or we're all together, they ask if the cat is dead yet LOL. 
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

Ok you are forgiven. I think I've met that cat before.

MeaghanandMichael

Dear Mike,

I think it is really cute that you are so excited for your friends engagement party tomorrow. I really really do. It is adorable you picked out an outfit already and got a haircut. It is really cute you already went shopping for the card and present. Your caring and prepared nature is just wonderful However, I have no idea what I am wearing, could not get to the hairdresser to take care of my encroaching roots AND I kind of hate that you bought them a money fold card even though we are giving a gift. That is just weird.

I know immabitch. Thanks for loving me anyway,
Meggiepoo

Shaye526

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:2f20f7af-e256-4ec3-b906-b575c48b1325">Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Nathan, You are awesome and I'm excited we're getting married.  HOWEVER, it does make me contemplate your murder when you wash some of the dishes and not all of them.  <strong>Did you think I wouldn't notice that the ones that are more difficult are always left in the sink?</strong>  Are you anticipating a magical house-elf to come and clean up after you?  It makes the situation worse when you act like you feel bad that I finished the dishes for you.  I love you, but I might punch you one day. With love, Noreen
Posted by NatesGirl16[/QUOTE]


HAAAA! I do this.


Dear FI,

I can't wait to marry you. To take you as my best friend and my first mate...through sickness and health, clear skies and squalls.

Can you please put your effing blackberry down for 5 minutes? I know sometimes you're on call, but sometimes you're not. Let your co-workers do their job for once.

I love you!

dmiller9274

Yo Michael,
Thanks for going down to my mom's last night to fix the things she's broken while my dad has been out of town.  We both appreciate your handiness.  BUT If you don't stop kicking off your shoes next to my side of the bed, where I can't see them, I'm probably going to kill you.  Ok maybe that's a bit harsh, but I will hurt you. Also, please zip up your ammo bag, our cat was swatting a .45 bullet around the living room this morning.  Not funny. 
Love,
Dare-uh

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:437b349f-dbad-419d-975d-6dff1eb5fb39">Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]Yo Michael, Thanks for going down to my mom's last night to fix the things she's broken while my dad has been out of town.  We both appreciate your handiness.  <strong>BUT If you don't stop kicking off your shoes next to my side of the bed, where I can't see them, I'm probably going to kill you.</strong>  Ok maybe that's a bit harsh, but I will hurt you. Also, please zip up your ammo bag, our cat was swatting a .45 bullet around the living room this morning.  Not funny.  Love, Dare-uh
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

What is this? DH does this and I have stubbed my toe on his shoes dozens of times. The closet is right there put them away!!

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:81d6e8f9-0120-459b-ba7e-663bec28ab1f">Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Mr. S, Next time you see a cat you like on Petfinder.com, do not make me do the run around with the foster/shelter and then change your mind two days later. I had to fill up the application, scan the damn thing so I can email it to the shelter and get in touch with the cat's foster mom so we can see the cat. I've been talking to the foster mom for a couple of days now and everything seems to be fine so why are you changing your mind now? The back and forth is getting ridiculous and you're wasting my time and the shelter's time. Thanks and we still love you, CS and Sophie
Posted by Champagne Supernova[/QUOTE]

I'm jealous, your getting another kittie? I want one!

skippylouwho

Toothpaste on the mirror.  We have a big vanity with 2 sinks, they are 3 feet apart.  His is the left, mine is the right.  Where is there always toothpaste? On my mirror becuase he always moves over and brushes in front of mine.

We each have a hand towel (hang from mounted towel rings). He pulls his out, uses it and drops it somewhere in our room or bathroom.  Then he needs it again, grabs mine - drops it somewhere in our room or bathroom.   

DH is a slob, his brother is anal about everything being exactly so. They shared a room as kids, his brother painted a line (on the carpet!!) for his side and my DH's side. they were like night and day.   Oh and BIL took SIL's recipe box and alphaetized it. She'd had favorites in front, less used in back. I told her if he did that to me he'd be doing all the cooking.  We'd go over when the kids were little. I'd put a glass with some tea left in it on the counter and go upstairs for 3-5 minutes to check on the kids. When I came down not only was the glass gone it was hand-washed, dried and put away. He can't stand anything out of place.

staceytaylor0704

Dear FI,
Thanks for spoiling me by taking such good care of me when I feel like crap. You're super sweet..
One more thing, Paranormal shows while laying in bed.. not so fun.

dmiller9274

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:8e79890a-469f-4594-ad38-de7bfc79701d">Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO : What is this? DH does this and I have stubbed my toe on his shoes dozens of times. The closet is right there put them away!!
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

FI does it all the time...but now he does it just to piss me off.  I dozed off on the couch the other night, and he put 14 pairs of shoes around the couch so no matter where I put my feet down, I'd step on one.  Then I had to throw all of them at him, but not hard enough to leave proof :)

ricksang

Dear Ricky,

I know we had a little spat over food yeterday but we made up and that makes be very happy. I love you more than anything, even peanut butter!

Ang

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:6ff4cc18-e3c0-4e27-b0e9-279a03b590d6">Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO : Aw, we're looking for either a sister or a brother for Sophie but Mr. S's indecisiveness is ruining everything!
Posted by Champagne Supernova[/QUOTE]

You're lucky that you can even get Sophie a sister or brother. Whisky would sit on his new sibling and pretend like he/she doesn't exist. he's not very good at sharing.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-hfiso?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fa55276a-2788-4a0c-b888-a68156050222Post:babc2d0c-2465-407b-8b27-2bb7bb284013">Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letters to Your H/FI/SO : FI does it all the time...but now he does it just to piss me off.  I dozed off on the couch the other night, and he put 14 pairs of shoes around the couch so no matter where I put my feet down, I'd step on one.  Then I had to throw all of them at him, but not hard enough to leave proof :)
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

HA! thats fricken hilarious! See he and DH would get a long fine. He does things just to aggravate me.

He is a big procrastinator, always late. I'm always on time. So when I asked him why he woke me up early this morning knowing I work late. He says: cause your so slow I wanted to give you extra time. Like I said he's lucky he's cute.

Geri510

My Love,

I am so happy that I found you & the saying 'the best is yet to come' is so very true.

BTW, could you do me a favor & NOT use the toilet paper to blow your nose, we actually have boxes of tissues in various rooms of our home & that is what you need to use them for. We don't have to go through a roll of paper each day because of your running nose when you have a cold.

Oh, thanks for learning that you need to rinse the plates before putting them in the dishwasher but please remember to clean the sink when done - we don't have a disposal & finding dried food stuck to the sink the next morning is not appealing.

All my love always,

G.