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March 2014 Weddings

Taking his last name?

So I plan on taking his last name, but my mom thinks I should hyphenate.  She says its common for women in the south to hyphenate? Is this true? She also thinks it will help me with my career if people see my current last name.  However, in the last three years of school, no one has ever cared who my dad is except for his current interns who are super nice to me. Anyway, my mom acted insulted when I insisted on taking  the FI's last name.  I'm taking his last name no matter what, but I was wondering what other people's thoughts were on the matter?
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Re: Taking his last name?

  • wow thats hard. I'm taking my fi's last name. At first i wasn't going to because i am an only child and i'm the last of the my last name. but i thought about when we had children and how they would feel that i had a different last name.

    i hope that helps a bit.
  • I don't think your career should suffer any impact based on your name.  Is your father someone famous within that field or overall famous?  If you think about it, hoping for success or increased success based on your name or your father means your version of success was not earned based upon your own hard work and merits.  A name should not matter.  if it matters to someone in a negative way, i would wonder if they were racist, or antisemetic or some such.  If it makes a positive impact, that seems shallow to me.
  • jwoftexasjwoftexas member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited March 2013
    I'm about to graduate from law school, and jobs are scarce.  So, it helps knowing someone.  My dad isn't famous, but he's known in his area of legal expertise in the city I'm from.  My mom thinks that people will recognize my dad's last name and say "oh, you're so and so's daughter?", and it will help me get a foot in the door.  This may be the case if I stayed here, but I'm moving so I don't think it will be much help.

    She also thinks it's a southern thing for girls to keep their last names or to hyphenate... has anyone else heard that?
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  • I'm from South Carolina. I do see more people hyphenating but I wouldnt consider it a strictly southern thing.  One thing to watch out for is how long your hyphenated name is. I've had some friends run into trouble with their names being too long for passports etc.

    Personally, I feel your dad is still your dad even if you don't have the same last name. When you start talking to people as you apply to jobs and mention you grew up in a legal household you could mention your dad's name.  Word will get out in my opinion.  

    I never thought I would be one to take my fiance's name, but I will be. Actually looking forward to it :-)

    hope this helps
  • I'm taking my fiance's last name, only because it will make my initials L A W. Of course meaning I am the LAW! Wink

    All kidding aside, I am pretty traditional when it comes to changing my name. I feel a marriage is a start of a family and a family unit should share the same last name.

    Also I agree with everything Ella and Pedro said above
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  • Ditto PPs!  Instead of hyphenating, several of my friends have chosen to legally change their middle names to their maiden names and then take their husband's last name.  

    I plan on taking my FI's last name. As much as I love my last name and the heritage behind it, students snickering when someone calls out "Miss P" got old real fast.  
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2014-weddings_taking-his-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:179b8bb8-7e19-4a31-9506-cc60c908fe65Discussion:fc18215d-bc0f-424b-81a2-356f1a6bfa64Post:98b18fbb-cc44-4427-acb0-63ba3f96b636">Re: Taking his last name?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think your career should suffer any impact based on your name.  Is your father someone famous within that field or overall famous?  If you think about it, hoping for success or increased success based on your name or your father means your version of success was not earned based upon your own hard work and merits.  A name should not matter.  if it matters to someone in a negative way, i would wonder if they were racist, or antisemetic or some such.  If it makes a positive impact, that seems shallow to me.
    Posted by Ella and Pedro[/QUOTE]

    <div>It really depends on what kind of carreer she's got. I work in publishing. I have my name in books as a consultant. I intend to keep my name the same with regards to that, professionally. Otherwise, how would people know I did that work? It's not a racist, antisemetic or shallow matter. It's a continuity thing. In order to keep getting that work, I need to maintain that name so others can find me. For that reason, I'm moving my own last name to my m iddle name, and taking the fiance's last name as my last name, with the exception of professional matters such as the one I described above.</div>
  • I am hyphenating my last name, but that is because I have a daughter from a previous relationship whose name is hyphenated with my name and her father's. So, I don't want her to feel excluded. This way, at least one of our names match.
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