October 2013 Weddings

Can you keep a secret?

Anyone else struggling to keep some of your wedding plans under wraps? 

I want certain elements to be a surprise- like our first dance song, my dress, etc.  And then there are other elements like decor, favors, etc, where I just can't say anything because a lot of my friends are getting married in the next year or so. 

I am going to diy a lot of my decor- burlap and lace table runners, twine wrapped vases, etc, and I'd love to share those elements, but I'm torn with wanting them to be a surprise and to also be unique to my wedding (I'm one of the later ones to get married next year).

Anyone else struggling too?

Re: Can you keep a secret?

  • We have a 2 yr engagement and while FI's sister was planning her wedding for this last Sept. their mom kept trying to get details out of FI since his sister had no idea what to do or how to do it. FI kept telling his mom he had no idea since he left the planning to me.

    FMIL knows I have my dress but never saw pictures. They know some small stuff, but not a whole lot.

    Just tell people you aren't sure yet and change the subject.

     

  • I really have no problem telling people details if they ask.  I feel I'm getting married older (I'll be 30) and either people just don't care or have already been married, or are not married and are interested in hearing details.  I always had the mentality that the person that is most excited about our wedding is US.

    To me, a wedding is a wedding. I have a hard time remembering one person's wedding from another.  Although I am trying to do some cool stuff, in reality, there are only so many ideas that can be done. If someone, either on a bulletin board or in real life likes and "takes" my ideas, so be it - happy to share. It wouldn't bother me at all if someone else did the same details at their wedding as I had planned. We have different guest lists and are different people.
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  • I am terrible at keeping secrets and everyone in my orbit has seen pictures of my gown but my FI hasn't.  We've sworn to keep it a secret until he sees me walking up the aisle but man, it is hard.  I want to talk about my gown non-stop, and though it's fun with my friends, I really want to talk to him.

    Arg!!!!   
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  • I am terrible at keeping secrets and everyone in my orbit has seen pictures of my gown but my FI hasn't.  We've sworn to keep it a secret until he sees me walking up the aisle but man, it is hard.  I want to talk about my gown non-stop, and though it's fun with my friends, I really want to talk to him.

    Arg!!!!   
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  • I really............. want to show my FI my gown.  It's killing me, lol.  I showed him the dress I almost purchased, which is polar opposite in style from the dress I bought.  His reaction was "It's a pretty dress and I would have loved it on you, because I love you, but to be honest, I think it's a lot of dress and not really what I imagined you would pick.  I see you more in something classic and elegant."  My FI knows me way too well because that's exactly what happened.
  • Aw, that's cute.  I just told him "I bought a gown. It's reallllllly pretty" and left it at that. He smiled, haha.  

    While I was choosing between the final 2 gowns, the saleslady asked me to choose based on what I thought he might like.  
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  • FI hasnt seen my dress. Most of the people going to our wedding know the theme etc at this point and how frustrating it was for me to pick how to do our wedding. Our ceremony will be very small with our closest friends so I dont feel the need to keep secrets. I'm excited :).

    Now that we're havign a tiny wedding certain family members understand, others are being a little bit prickish. This is exactly why I went this route I do not want to deal with political crap or the costs.
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  • It is hard to keep details under wraps.  I don't mind certain things getting out but I want to keep some things to myself too.  My dress has been seen by my mom, FMIL, a very close friend and by accident a family friend (she scrolled too far in the pictures).  I deleted all photos I had of the dress and swore all people who saw to secrecy and actually threatened them with invitation revocation.  I want my dad to be surprised too.

    The rest of the details like the date, the place, the colors and cupcakes versus cake I don't so much care about but I work really hard at not talking about it.  I am only inviting a few co-workers out of MANY so it's not appropriate to discuss at work.  My closest friends are co-workers which works out quite well.  My sister is my go-to, idea bouncer and she hears it all.  I am SOOOO thankful for her.  You all will know more as well as things come up.  It's fun to share with other brides because were all in this together.
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  • shannie11shannie11 member
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    edited November 2012
    I have a hard time with my co workers. They are like family so I want to share with them. However everyone else I don't really tell that much to. I do talk about it a lot at work which I wish I didn't but it is so hard! As for my dress, FI doesn't want to know anything. I can't even keep his Christmas present a secret. This is going to be a long 11 months!
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  • We're all adults here. You can just tell them the truth like I did: "If I tell you now I don't get my awe moments later. You're a guest too and I want you to feel the full effect of the wedding!"

    Let them know you're going to be keeping your wedding details a secret or a month out they'll be confused when you still have no idea about your centerpeices or decor lol. My wedding details are secret until the day of the wedding, thank you. 

    It works, no lies no changing subject. Out of respect for your honesty and your desire to keep details secret they'll become excited about your wedding details trying to "figure out" what you would want.
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  • Now that we have more things planned, it's getting harder to keep things a secret. I've spilled the beans on our menu to a number of people, and so far, everyone loves the idea. (Except for one "friend" who, honestly, I'm not sure why I still talk to that person some days.) I'm honestly really hesitant about sharing anything with my coworkers since I'm not inviting any of them to the wedding. (We're getting married in his hometown, and I currently live in Virginia, and this project will be done 1-2 months before our wedding day.) There are some days when I don't even want to tell my mom some of the details, because I'll tell her one thing I REALLY want for decorations at the ceremony........ and she then goes and suggests pretty much the opposite. (I want low ceremony decorations. She suggested tall ones.) Love you, Mom... but... really??? Smile
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