Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth
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Really? (mini vent)

I sent my bridesmaids a "day of" timeline yesterday and one of them just wrote me back letting me know that her new b/f will be coming with her to everything.That's cool, whatever. Then she asks if it's okay if she doesn't get down to where I'll be staying until 5 p.m. on Saturday (wedding is on a Sunday) because her and the bf and his parents are going to the South Carolina v. Kentucky football game. I mean, really? I haven't asked my girls to do anything other than get their dresses and she can't even come down the day before to help me get everything organized?I know it will be fine and that I will have plenty of help, but if the roles were reversed and she was the bride and I was the bridesmaid I would totally want to be there for her. : (

Re: Really? (mini vent)

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    edited December 2011
    If the roles were reversed, she'd totally want you to be there w/ her! If it really upsets you, you should really approach her about it. That's not fair at all. This whole weekend is about you and FI...everyone that's involved in the wedding should be right there with you. If you're gonna agree to be in a wedding, you have to be up to taking on the responsibilites. I have a fear of this happening to me w/ one of my bridesmaids (I shouldn't have asked this girl to be in the wedding...it was a pitty thing). I hope things go well for ya. Just remember its about you and FI...oh well about her =) (Hope I didn't come off rude!)
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    edited December 2011
    While I understand where you're coming from, I don't think it's that big of a deal.  No, I don't think she should go to the game, but that's her decision.  Yes, you or other people would do differently if roles were reversed, but they're not. If it bothers you so much, bring it up.  But I definitely don't think that just because she's your BM that she should designate her whole weekend to be at your beck and call.  My BM was late to the hair place, didn't stick around the next day for breakfast and I was OK with that.  People have lives and as long as she's there for the wedding, I think that's all that matters. So just take a deep breath and know that everything will work out whether or not she's there the whole day on Saturday or doesn't get there until 5:00.
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    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's a big deal, I was just venting. I haven't seen any of my BMs since last Christmas, and none of them have been too involved with the wedding since I've been planning from here and they are all in SC - so, I'm just a little disappointed that she doesn't want to spend a little more time with me : (It's definitely not something that bothers me enough that I would bring it up, and I would never tell her what she can or can't do. Just want to spend time with her and my other BMs.  
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    edited December 2011
    I would be upset about it. Like you said, you ha have not asked them to so anything for the wedding except get their dresse sand be there. I could ot imagine telling the bride (if I was a briesmaid) anything other than, "OK-whatever you want" the weekend of her wedding.  I dont think she is a very good friend.
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    edited December 2011
    I would be upset and feel dissapointed but unfortunately, you can't control her actions.  I've been way way dissapointed in my MOH's actions through the whole process and she is now saying she doens't think she should have to drive me to the chapel on the day of because my car and other BM's cars are nicer than hers.  I think you just have to focus on those that WILL be there for you the day before and let her do her thing.  Hang in there girl!
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    edited December 2011
    I am sorry this is happening I would be really upset too. I do think it's her job to be there with you for the weekend. that's what my friends and I have always done for each other when we are in weddings. Your bridal party is your support system for a very important weekend (not just the actual ceremony/party). Otherwise, she would just be a guest! I would talk with her. I wouldn't get mad at her but just tell her how you feel and maybe she will see it differently. If not, no worries, you move on and just know what to expect (or not expect) next time but maybe she doesn't realize how much her being there really means to you. Good luck.

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