Too much time....

kthowell

Okay for the last 3 months I have been reading a book all about marriage and family etc. The advice I mostly get is communication is the key and not to spend so much time planning a wedding and not planning a marriage....so in the mist of all this wedding planning i have been reading and getting prepared for counseling.....has anyone else?

I refuse to spend all this money on a wedding and actually neglect the marriage.......its been said to so many ppl i know and less then a year of marriage they are divorced...

sarah260

I think that's smart of you!  My FI and I have already started our premarital counseling through our church and have really enjoyed the discussions it has brought up.  It's interesting; I feel like we do a pretty good job at communicating and that we've talked about everything we possibly could... But inevitably, we learn new things all the time. 

mercy4

We will be going through our church's requirements, but we have been together for six years so we have learned what works for us and what doesn't.  I think the major focus is to not lose yourself in the wedding planning and to make sure you still have a relationship outside of it.  We planned most of our wedding in the first month we were engaged, so while we talk about creative ideas occasionally, most of our time is spent life as usual.  If you have been with someone for a while and spent time discussing the important things, you shouldn't have a problem...

brij2006

We are doing the same thing. Premarital counseling through our church, and the pastor that is going to marry us.  We both have come from our sessions feeling better about our current relationship and future marriage.  They have been very beneficial, and made us both step back from all of the planning, and focus on us.  Just enjoy it, and enjoy the conversation that comes from it.

jjolovich

We plan on doing this as well, with this being my second marriage and his 3rd we are going to put alot of focus on our counseling as neither of us have gone through it. But like pp do enjoy life as is, as well!!

gymbugmj2k

good for you to remember that it's about a lifetime commitment! we also did our church premarital program so we probably won't do any other formal prep.  FI and I have always been great communicators (he basically forced/taught me how. haha), and I agree that SO MANY marital and family problems can be avoided or easily solved by better communication techniques.

bottom line: it's definitely smart to take 'wedding planning breaks' and go on dates with FI and just spend time talking and developing your relationship.  its useful AND fun!

ChristineNB

I am not getting married by a minister, so no "required" pre-marital counseling for me.  However, we have been dating for 3 years, living together for 1 year, so we have learned through trial and error and time.  I don't personally see the need for pre-marital counseling or classes, but that's just me.