Have you started planning your rehearsal dinner?

Rachel405

My FMIL is planning our rehearsal dinner. She wants a list of everyone who will be coming...now. She is booking the restauurant this week. I'm inviting OOT guests and half of them don't even know if they will be able to come up for the wedding yet. Our wedding isn't until August 18, seems like she's way ahead of schedule, but I wanted to know what everyone's plans are for that (if any)?

BTCarolus

Yes! (And yes I am lurking shamelessly on this board today.) Except that as soon as I had a plan, a new alternative was offered. I really want to have it at a really cute local restaurant called The Peach that is only open until 3pm. Basically, we'd ask them to open specially for us at dinnertime, arrange a menu, and have the place to ourselves. It's really small, but big enough for our party, the food is delicious and unique, and it would just be really cute.

However, my aunt just offered to host the dinner at her home, which is conveniently located just down the street from the church. We'd get it catered, but have a nice, private location for the evening. I'm just not sure if it would be large enough to fit everybody. We're planning on wedding party and SOs/families plus OOT family (but not OOT friends), and that puts us close to 40 people. I know it would be possible for everybody in the group to fit, but we would be looking at having people eating in three different rooms, or having a ton of set-up in their backyard.

Lobsters25

We've started some basic planning for our Aug 24th wedding.  It's early, but having approximate numbers and such this far out is allowing us to create a budget, which will be essential for planning the details down the road.  Perhaps she's trying to budget, as well?

i2012do

I am getting married August 25th. Since teh rehearsal is going to be on a Friday- I have started planning it (You never know if someone is planning  a wedding that day or something). We have limited options in the area for a rehearsal and want to keep it economical since we are paying for it....So yes, long story short, we have started planning.

OliveJuice4Ever

Also lurking Based on some of my planning books, it is recommended to at least start thinking about plans for a rehearsal dinner 4-5 months out (depending on location I imagine). It's on a much smaller scale than the wedding but still requires reservations, guest lists, separate invitations and other details as desired. 

Jealous of your headstarts! When we got engaged (2 years ago!) my ILs stated they were going to plan our rehearsal dinner...I haven't heard anything from them since, so I'm kind of wondering if my FI should bring something up to see if it's still on their radar. Any thoughts? They are notorious for doing things last minute (which stresses me out when it comes to the wedding), but I don't want to seem naggy either. We're going to have out-of-town guests as well. Our rehearsal is on a Thursday in the metro area. 

BTCarolus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_have-you-started-planning-your-rehearsal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:25c923c6-37d8-44d7-935f-28bbf91d2177Post:9e4f44e9-cb7a-4192-861a-5f78c5732f22">Re: Have you started planning your rehearsal dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE] Any thoughts? They are notorious for doing things last minute (which stresses me out when it comes to the wedding), but I don't want to seem naggy either. We're going to have out-of-town guests as well. Our rehearsal is on a Thursday in the metro area. 
Posted by OliveJuice4Ever[/QUOTE]
I would broach the subject again, because you'll need to start notifying people about the date soon, so they can leave it free, plan their flight around it, etc. And better to find out your in-laws forgot about it, than to discover last minute that what you've been telling people is going to fall through.

Belle0000

We made our reservations way early--last July--because the restaurant is pretty popular for RDs and very budget-friendly.  We're only doing the WP and their spouses, our immediate families, grandparents, and the officiant.  We're not inviting OOT guests because nearly all live within a 3 hour drive and will be coming in the day of the wedding.

Ajoyd

We are planning right now. I think we've found a spot. Most of our OOT guests are within a short driving distance and I think will come in the day of the wedding so we're only factoring in a few OOT family members and friends in addition to our immediate families and WP (most of the wedding party is immediate family aside from my bff and FI's bff).

Most of the restaurants in the area where I want to have the dinner are short on private event space so I want to get it reserved now. Also it's a relatively easy thing to check off the to-do list.

OliveJuice4Ever, I would suggest asking your FI to bring it up with his parents and to let them know that you would both like to have something booked relatively soon or at least narrow down your options.

saraschilling88

We booked our rehearsal dinner location in November   It is a small Mexican restaurant that my family goes to every summer (they are only open in the summer), and they are allowing us to either create our own menu (off of their menu) or just have people order off of their menu if that is easier.  We are creating our own so as to not bog down the kitchen staff lol! 

Olivejuice4ever- I agree to talk to your FI and have him ask his parents, as this is something you would have to budget for if they have decided they are unable to help..  Hope everything works out for you!!

markandlaura112

We're planning right now (wedding is 8/11) but haven't booked anything yet. I think its ok, not too soon to start IMO.

dawnp917

We have the space reserved but that is the only thing that has been planned yet.  We are doing a lunch instead of a dinner and the restaurant we are having the rehearsal at is a popular lunch spot.   Sending out invitiations to the dinner before invites to the wedding are sent seems a bit early.

Sunshine811

We have also started planning our rehearsal dinner. My furure in law are holding it at their house, mainly because between our 2 families we have 14 kids under the age of 10 (most are under 5- not so good for a restaurant!) Her house is good sized, but we will also have to eat in seperate rooms unless the weather is nice enough for picnic tables in the back yard. We are inviting immediate family, WP and SO, and grandparents, and officiant, which amounts to 40 or so people. My FMIL asked for the list about 3 months ago because she's a super planner, so I don't think it is too early as long as you don't send the invites before the wedding invites. I also think you should explain to your FMIL that this is a prelminary list and could change with RSVPs- like a guest list for the wedding, I think she should understand that.

stephk31

Planned but not contacted the restaurant yet. But since you ladies are all on top of it, I better get to it!!

OliveJuice4Ever

Thank you for the advice ladies! I needed some reassurance that it's time to get the ball rolling on this topic. GL to you as well  

jess715

My wedding is on August 18 also and we just started planning our rehearsal dinner a few weeks ago. My IL's have offered to pay for it, so they've asked us to find a restaurant and then hand it over to them, which I am MORE than happy to do since I have so much on my plate already. I don't think it's too early to start planning, especially if you are looking to reserve a restaurant. A lot of restaurants that we initially looked at already had a few events booked in August, luckily none of them conflicted with our rehearsal dinner date since we are doing it on a Thursday night, but if we were having it on a Friday night, then there for sure would have been some conflicts. It was important for us to have a private room, which also posed a few issues in terms of availabilty. So if you think it is too early, I say better safe than sorry.  We are inviting our wedding party of course, and their SO's. As well as immediate family and anyone else involved in the wedding such as readers, officiant, etc. Sorry, I'm still learning all the lingo and acronyms on here, what does OOT mean? I can't figure it out for the life of me!! I need a cheat sheet!  

kap617

We're planning now as well.  We have a location but still need to select a caterer.

libby2483

We have our rehearsal dinner pretty much planned.  My FMIL reserved the space a couple of months ago.  We are holding our rehearsal dinner at the same location as our ceremony and reception, because that way we can get everything set up the night before.  Our venue does a Friday night fish fry so it will be laid-back, yet delicious.

[Deleted User]

We have reserved the place and started choosing the menu. 

bmetz34

Have our caterer, now need to find a spot.  I wanted to do outdoor backyard casual feel.  If we find something within 45 minutes of them, they'll waive the travel fee.  But all the parks on the shore require rental fees for pavilions (which I'd want in case it rains), and then there are parking fees on top of that. 

saraschilling88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_have-you-started-planning-your-rehearsal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:25c923c6-37d8-44d7-935f-28bbf91d2177Post:f5c90b25-8316-4544-bbe0-ad0688699142">Re: Have you started planning your rehearsal dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry, I'm still learning all the lingo and acronyms on here, what does OOT mean? I can't figure it out for the life of me!! I need a cheat sheet!   
Posted by jess715[/QUOTE]

I'm still figuring out some lingo too, but OOT means Out of Town :)

swuthrich21

We are doin a BBQ! the girls will get their nails and toes done in the afternoon while the boys play golf- then well do the rehearsal from 4-5 and 530 is rehearsal dinner I think we are gonna have those cute red and white xheckered table clothes w a mason jar in the center filled w a few flowers simple, cheap but still fun!!

rungirl12

We know what we're doing, but aren't putting anything in motion until it gets closer.  We are doing VERY low key.  Our ceremony is in a park & we are having the rehearsal there.  Some of the wedding party members will need to travel up to an hour for that, and then the wedding the next day, so we're just going to order pizza and bring it in the park.  That way it won't turn into a late night & it totally reflects us and our laid back attitudes.  I don't think FMIL is a big fan of the idea (both of our moms worry about making the "right" impression to guests and probably aren't super happy about some of our decisions), but we are outspoken and said from the start this will be more casual than they're used to.