I hate to say it but I've been turning into a bit of a bridezilla the last couple weeks because of all of the stress that's been placed on me over this wedding. I don't want to plan ANYTHING ELSE with this and I just wanna be done (and thank the Lord in 3 days I will be!)
I've been getting snappy with my FI and just being a total B!TCH. It's really bad. He just takes it because he knows I'm not well and he knows it's just the stress. I recognize all the time that I'm being horrible and I calm myself down and go give him my biggest "I'm sorry" doe eyes and hug and kiss him and apologize. I'm really awful about this.
But I think OCD is moreso to blame than anything else.
I was officially diagnosed for OCD in 2007. I've been told I have a "classic case" of OCD but I don't have extreme rituals that take up much of my day. I have obsessions and compulsions and trichotillomania. I have to step inside the boxes on the sidewalk, I don't like it when my foot falls over a crack. I have to keep the refrigerator door open when I'm using something quickly out of there (like when I'm pouring milk into a cereal bowl), It bothers me when volume gets set to anything other than an even number, multiples of 5 or the numbers 7 and 17 (just because I like those 2 numbers). I obsess about feeling ill and it makes me feel really ill just because I am thinking about it so much. There's a whole slew of things like that.
Well throughout the last year of planning this wedding I've made list after list after list and more excel spreadsheets than I could ever dream of. I've planned this down to the final detail and I've done 90% of it all by myself because thanks to my anxiety issues and OCD I hate to burden anyone else with ANYTHING in my life.
Now I'm at the point that I just want it to be done and it's stressing me out that it's not all done (we only have like 2 minor things left on the to-do list!) and I'm obsessed with thinking that I may have forgotten something.
I'm so thankful for having FI in my life - he tries his hardest to be patient with me and understanding of how stressed I am over this wedding. (I didn't want a wedding, I wanted to elope to Paris, but he wanted the big Catholic wedding and so I've felt a little resentful of him since planning ANYTHING even a gettogether for 5 people gives me massive anxiety let alone a party where 250+ people are invited and I'm going to be center of attention!!!). It's been so difficult and I just really hope i make it thru the day without feeling ill from all of the anxiety!!
Is anyone else turning into a bridezilla this close to the big day?