Bridal Party

KJDP20

I've read on other Knot boards about how it isn't wise (in some people's opinion) to ask friends to be in your bridal party until it is 1 year until wedding. I see why this is a good idea, in case relationships change etc. Then I read - interestingly enough in a wedding book by the knot - to ask you bridal party ASAP so they know what's going on and people aren't guessing if they're in the wedding or not.

So thoughts? Since we're all getting very, very close to the 2 year mark - what were/are your plans?

Since I'm asking, I'll share that I've already asked my younger sister to be my MOH, but I haven't asked bridesmaids yet.

smcfeters

I think it's smart thinking. Thanks for sharing.

SSaltzman87

Everyone that's in my bridal party knows they're in the wedding except for those that will be ushers or personal attendants (for me those would be more likely to change than maids). I figure that with my bridesmaids and MOH (my older sister), they can start budgeting their personal expenses and whatnot when it comes to my wedding instead of springing it on them last minute and them figuring out where to get the money for the dress, shower gifts, bach party etc.

jcorvese

ive asked my bridal party.

Basically, one is my fiances half sister and the rest are my close friends

My two maid of honors have been my friend since high school- and i was in one of their weddings.... our parents are also friends. basically, this relationship is not likely to change
.
my other two maids are good friends from college-- one we see about once a week, and one live 3 hrs from my. OF all my friends from college, we have stayted the closest (our group also includes one of the girls from hs that went to college)
we email daily.

My final bm, and i wasnt sure i was going to ask her, is my best friend from growing up, we werent friends for a while- and have completely different interests. but at the end of the day, shes been a friend that i could ALWAYS call and come back to, since  was 9. and she and my fiance get along awesome, she is alays bringing him lunch or sening him new books she loves,etc since they are very similar.

I know this a lot of talk abut ME ME ME. but the fact im trying to make, is you have to judge your relationships one by one. i figured that if i graduated college 4 years ago and still talk to my two friends that are in the wedding party-- that in another 2 yrs they will still be in my life.  ive known the other girls for more than 10-15 yrs

it is hardNOT to ask right awaay because everyone asks you. "whos in the wedding" and its awkward. and sometimes uncomfortable

if you have close friends, who have been close all your life, and u dont see the relatinoship chanigng--then ask them. its an honor. and honestly, its more comfortable to talk to your friends about event planning (which youll want to do all the time) when they know they are involved. instead of being like "i saw these awesome bridesmaids dresses..." and the girl not knowing if she is in your wedding. or being liek "i know this great band!" its easier for them to offer suggestions if they can think about it as being something they are going to be a part of....

i know before my best friend asked me to be a BM--- evertyime she talked about her wedding i was like "i wonder if shes going to ask me!?"

i think waiting is way more difficult.

jcorvese

oh and this is a really stupid question
but everyone i know that got married used their groomsmen as usher
is it just where im from?

do people still use ushers???
id like to ask my cousin to walk people down the aisle-- hand out programs etc.
but isnt that what my groomsmen do?

catemeg

JCorvese, I'm from Rhode Island also and plan to get married there.  I've always seen ushers as separate from groomsmen - typically it's a secondary role for men who were not invited to be in the bridal party.

I am so opposed to having bridesmaids in general, so for me this isn't an issue.  My brother will be my "Man of Honor" and that will be it.  I can't be bothered asking my friends to buy a certain dress or give them tasks - if they want to help, they'll ask.  I'm not even engaged yet and my friends have already started laying claim to who will plan the bachelorette party and who will plan the bridal shower.  All of my friends can be involved and I don't have to pick between anyone.  No hurt feelings, no drama.  Easy!

i2012do

Someone on one of the knot boards wrote about "the head usher" as being an episode of Full House. Where Uncle jessie is upset beause he is asked to be a "head usher" instead of a Groomsmen. and said he didint even know what it meant-- and was insulted he was a part of a 2nd rate bridal party.
haha

I dont know Bridal parties are just so difficult in general. Not to hurt people to hurt people what to do, so and so said this....

its honsetly, one of the most difficult parts of the wedidng in my opinion...

stephypaige

Both my FI and I have picked and asked everyone in our bridal party. We have a very close group of friends, and have for years. We are having eight on each side. Things are done a bit differently in my FI's family, its more like a group effort. All of my girls, will be helping me every step of the way. They would have it no other way. I love it because its a great stress relief. The guys go golfing and the girls start planning.

august2012bride

I asked my bridal party. My MOH is my sister (so that wouldn't change) and my BMs are my cousin, my fsil and my dear friend who I have known since kindergarden. I think I am safe in asking all of them early.

maxlssu00

I'm gonna wait because the decisions that involve other people are the most unpredictable, so I will wait until it's a year before the wedding to ask people to be in our bridal party. 

SouthernBelle2011

catemeg- I like that idea very much!!!

We are going to wait until it gets closer to pick the bridesmaids & groomsmen. We already have the MOH & BM

Kelly9405

I asked my BM's already. My MOH is my sister, and my BM's are my fiance's sister, my cousin (I'm very close with her- we're the same age), and my friend, who is also my fiance's best man's wife.

AKSGRL

I've coordinated a few weddings. Ushers can be just that - ushers. I've also coordinated or been to weddings where the groomsmen are also the ushers. It's your perogative. Either way works.

amynwade

What do you gals think.  One of my very good friends said that she wants to be in my wedding, before I even said anything.  She would drive me crazy if she was a bridesmaid.  Should I just ignore her comment and then tell her later that I could only pick 4 girls??  I am torn because I was in here wedding party.

MeganDR101010

The bridal party is my number one stressor of wedding planning right now! I plan on asking my sisters and my best friend now. However, I'm trying to decide between four other friends who I have known forever, but we don't keep in touch like we used to since we've all moved away from home. I feel obligated to have them all, but don't want a huge bridal party. I don't care about having even numbers on both sides of the bridal party, but I at least want it close. We have four on his side so I want to stick with 4-6 on my side. One of the girls I'm debating has asked me to be a BM in her wedding next summer. I feel obligated to have her be one of my BM too, but then I feel like I'd offend the others. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings... I know this is MY day and that good friends will be happy for me regardless...I get that, but I still don't want to hurt anyone's feelings! Help!

colstj

I have asked my bridesmaids to be in the wedding already because I have been friends with all of them since elementary school and if our friendships havent changed since then, I hope they won't till the wedding. If anything since I've asked them, they have gotten more involved in wanting to know how my planning is going and what not.  If you feel hesitent about asking someone to be in your wedding party then thats a warning sign to wait.  The worst thing would be to kick them out! yikes!

As for ushers and stuff, those ones im waiting on also till closer too.